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In the secular world people know that a person’s ideal condition often differs from his real situation. This can also be applied to spiritual matters. Believers who seek and follow the Lord eventually discover that there is often a substantial difference between their real condition and the condition that they desire. Very few believers have learned the lessons or have been worked on by the Lord. Few can testify that since the day of their salvation there have not been any problems in their pursuit of the Lord, that they have accomplished what they want, or that they have arrived at the spiritual condition they desire. The biographies of spiritual believers reveal that their experiences were primarily of being broken.
Let us consider the matter of reading the Bible. After salvation or after being revived, many believers make a vow to read the Bible every day. They even consider which method they should use to complete the Bible in a year. Their plan is ideal. However, very few believers are able to achieve their ideal plan, and when they do, there does not seem to be much benefit. In contrast, those who can read the Bible properly experience being broken in their reading. They desire to read the Bible diligently, but God arranges many situations in their environment that interrupt them. They have an earnest desire to set aside several hours a day to read the Bible, but God arranges unavoidable circumstances, such as a brother seeking help because of a family problem or a sister coming for fellowship because she is unhappy with her husband, not to mention their own problems. These situations make it impossible for them to fulfill their desire in reading the Bible. They can read only a short portion of the Bible and ponder over it briefly in the midst of their chaos. I can testify that reading the Bible in this way often issues in special enlightenment from God and yields unexpected results. However, those who are able to read the Bible according to their plan may not receive any light. They might become well versed in the Bible, but they are dead. Those who can receive light from reading the Bible often experience being broken.
This principle applies not only to reading the Bible but also to prayer and to other spiritual activities. This principle also applies to the Lord’s work and to the church. We can say that the history of the church is a matter of being broken. Such experiences, however, issue in genuine growth in life.
Bible expositors have highly appraised the church at Pentecost. They consider the early church to have been blameless and faultless. As far as God’s work is concerned, there was no problem, but the church experienced serious problems. For example, in Acts 1 through 4 the condition of the church was wonderful, but in chapter 5 something negative occurred — Ananias and his wife, Sapphira, lied to the Holy Spirit (vv. 1-11). In this portion even though the morning had just begun, it seemed as though the sun had begun to set. Then in chapter 6 complaints arose because of the distribution of food (vv. 1-2). Hence, the church at Pentecost was not so spiritual or so good. Whatever God does is good, but our situations are not ideal, because we must be tried and broken in order to become dependable. This applies to the church and to the individual believers.
The condition of the church at Pentecost can be compared to an unfired clay brick with a newly painted pattern. The pattern must be burned onto the brick by passing through fire. God did a work of grace in the early church and provided it with a wonderful situation. Soon afterward the church passed through a great trial; it went through a “furnace” in order to be broken. God supplied the church with grace, and He allowed the church to be tried. However, the church failed and became desolate. Hence, the apostle Paul, who preached the gospel to the Gentile world, said that all who were in Asia had turned away from him (2 Tim. 1:15). This shows how desolate the church had become.
According to its outward condition, the church had become worse than it was at Pentecost. But according to its intrinsic nature, the church at the time of Pentecost was inferior to the church at the time of Paul’s rejection.
This principle can be applied to our present situation. For example, a local church that is flourishing and thriving in the beginning of the year may fall because of two small problems in the second half of the year and never recover its initial condition. However, according to its intrinsic nature, the condition of this church may be stronger in the second half of the year than in the first half of the year.
God often allows an individual believer or even a church to stumble and be broken. God first adorns us, and then He breaks us. He first equips us, and then He lets us pass through the furnace. He first revives us, and then He tries us. Sometimes the breaking, burning, and trying are in the form of external persecutions and attacks, and at other times they are in the form of internal disputes and discord. We cannot say that a church or a brother in these circumstances has fallen. We must remember that although the outward condition may be bad, the intrinsic nature is being purified and built up.
The individual believers and the church are filled with mixture even though they are being revived. This mixture includes everything of the natural man, such as our feelings, interests, preferences, disposition, and pleasures. Even though a revival is the work of the Holy Spirit, it is mixed with the human element. Hence, God gives us grace for us to rise up, and He also breaks us in order to purify us. God knows our measure, and He knows how to break us; He is not severe. We may feel that we are about to die under God’s breaking, but He knows how much breaking we need. The breaking will neither be too heavy nor too light. We may feel as if we are dead, but we are not, for He will enliven us again. After we are made alive, He will give us another revival, in which we will think that we are doing well. We do not realize that there is still much mixture in us and that God must break us yet again. We must understand that we are filled with mixture and, hence, require God’s repeated breaking.
A brother once testified that while he was traveling, he saw a mountain range and was reminded of Christ’s position in creation. This caused a sense of reverence to rise up in his heart. At the same time, however, a sense of pride also rose up in him, and he began to consider how commendable it was for him to be the first to receive such a revelation and vision concerning Christ in creation. This shows how easy it is for the human element to be manifested. Let us consider this example. God in His mercy visited this brother and caused him to remember and touch Christ while sightseeing. But the brother became proud and considered himself to be important. This example exposes the mixture in us.
We need to be tried because we are filled with mixture. We are so full of mixture that we do not know ourselves. We have no idea how much mixture there is in our motive, intention, aim, will, and inclination and in what we desire to achieve and gain. Our mixture needs trials in order to be exposed so that we may be purified. To be tried is to be purified.
It is not simple to be purified; we cannot be purified through one trial. After a trial we may think that our mixture has been removed, but after two years it is still present. It is even possible for something that we think has been removed to still be present after twenty years. Those who have learned some lessons know what their problems are when they pass through trials. For example, Abraham lied when he went down to Egypt (Gen. 12:9-20). Later, he returned to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, and he called on the name of Jehovah (13:1-4), but the element of lying was still in him. Hence, when the circumstance arose again, he lied again (ch. 20). However, he was different; his first failure left a mark that caused him to somewhat know himself.
We cannot gain spiritual stature from one experience. We experience salvation once, but every other spiritual matter is not experienced only once. God first equips us, and then He tries us. He first gives us grace and then breaks us. This cycle occurs again and again. When we are in the process, we feel miserable and dejected. We fail in one matter and fall short in another. When our condition improves slightly, we fail again; when our work has a result, a storm blows away the issue of our toil. We may have labored in a local church for seven years, but suddenly trouble arises, and we suffer loss and are in anguish. We must remember that this process is necessary.
In the book of Philippians Paul wrote, “To know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death” (3:10). He did not write this in Romans, 1 and 2 Corinthians, or any other Epistle. When Paul wrote Romans, he was busy traveling, and when he wrote 1 and 2 Corinthians, his work was spreading. When we are busy and our work is spreading, we cannot sense the need to know the Lord’s resurrection. The apostle Paul was not an exception. It was not until he was put into prison and was in bonds, like a grain of wheat that is buried in the ground, that he sensed the deep need to know Christ’s resurrection. He realized that he needed the revelation of Christ’s resurrection.
At this time Paul could write the Epistle to the Philippians concerning his pursuing to know resurrection by being conformed to Christ’s death. At this point he was put into an environment of death. In principle, his prison was his tomb. Paul could not endure this environment by himself. Hence, in the depths of his being he sensed his need to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and to be conformed to His death.
We need to consider the vision in Song of Songs. The experience in Song of Songs is progressive. The experiences of the maiden, who represents the Lord’s seeker, go higher and deeper step by step. Not only so, she grows step by step. In the beginning her beloved praises her as a mare among Pharaoh’s chariots (1:9). This means that even though she was swift to pursue her beloved, she used her natural strength. This strength must be dealt with. For this reason her beloved says, “We will make you plaits of gold / With studs of silver” (v. 11). Studs of silver signify the killing work of the cross, and plaits of gold signify the constituting work of the Holy Spirit. The killing work of the cross and the constituting work of the Holy Spirit gradually transform us from being natural to being spiritual.
In verse 15 the maiden is praised: “Your eyes are like doves.” This signifies being single in her desire for her beloved. In chapter 2 she is like a lily (v. 2), and in chapter 3 she is like pillars of smoke (v. 6). These indicate that she is gradually ascending. She is also praised as a palanquin for Solomon (v. 9). In chapter 6 she is “as terrible as an army with banners,” which means that she is strong and victorious (v. 4). She is also “as beautiful as the moon” and “as clear as the sun,” which means that she is bright, solid, and transcendent, living in a heavenly realm (v. 10). The maiden has risen to this heavenly realm from Egypt (1:9). Not only so, she is also as beautiful as Tirzah and as lovely as Jerusalem, which indicates that she has grown into a built-up city (6:4). This is the process of her growth.
Her experience and knowledge of her beloved are also progressive. Chapter 1 begins with her saying that his love is better than wine (v. 2). In verse 12 she is at the table with her beloved. Because she has his presence and enjoys his abundance, she says, “My beloved is to me a bundle of myrrh,” indicating that he is fragrant within her (v. 13). She also says, “My beloved is to me a cluster of henna flowers,” indicating that he is her beauty (v. 14). In chapter 2 she enters deeper into her beloved’s presence and enjoys him in his banqueting house (v. 4). She compares him to an apple tree: “In his shade I delighted and sat down, / And his fruit was sweet to my taste” (v. 3). Here she fully enjoys his sweetness. In the beginning her feeling of love toward her beloved is not solid or concrete. When she compares him to myrrh and henna flowers, her feeling is a little more solid and a little more concrete. Later, when she says that he is like an apple tree under which she can sit down and enjoy the sweetness of its fruit, she has been perfected by her beloved.
In the beginning of her seeking, the maiden asks, “Tell me... Where do you pasture your flock? / Where do you make it lie down at noon?” (1:7). In chapter 2 she not only finds her beloved; she is under his shade, his covering, and enjoys his presence (vv. 3-6). How satisfied and restful she is! Up until this point, her words issue from the experience of her enjoyment, and her knowledge is mainly based on what she has enjoyed.
In the second stage of her experience, her knowledge of her beloved changes. In verses 8 and 9 the maiden says, “Now he comes, / Leaping upon the mountains, / Skipping upon the hills. / My beloved is like a gazelle or a young hart.” This is a special vision. Formerly, she said that her beloved was like myrrh, henna flowers, and an apple tree. These are an expression of her feelings in her enjoyment; they are not a revelation or a vision. Now her beloved comes to give her a vision. Hence, it is no longer a matter of enjoyment but of power and vitality. We need to see that the Lord is full of resurrection power and that He comes leaping upon the mountains and skipping upon the hills like a young hart full of vigor and vitality. No mountain or hill can hold Him back. At this stage a seeker’s knowledge of the Lord has progressed from enjoyment to seeing and from feeling to revelation.
The saints in the church life do not have sufficient light and revelation concerning the Lord. They know the Lord mainly according to the feelings realized in their experiences. Such knowledge reaches its fullness in experiencing the Lord as an apple tree. Many saints say, “O Lord, Your love is better than wine. Draw me, and I will run after You. I want to be satisfied and have Your presence.” They have indeed enjoyed the Lord’s presence and tasted His sweetness. They can also say from their experience that the Lord is like myrrh within and henna flowers without. Some can also testify that they have enjoyed the Lord’s sweetness, received His protection, and tasted the rich fruit in His shade. Many saints can give such a testimony. However, very few have received a revelation, a vision, of the Lord coming like a young hart full of vigor, leaping upon the mountains and skipping upon the hills.
The Lord wants to give us a new vision. He wants us not only to experience His sweetness and enjoy His riches; He wants us to see His resurrection, to see that He is the hind of the dawn. He bore our sins on the cross, was forsaken by God, and entered into resurrection to be the hind of the dawn (Psa. 22 title). The Lord is calling us to see that He, as the hind of the dawn, is full of vigor and vitality and is coming to us. He is leaping upon the mountains and skipping upon the hills. In Song of Songs the beloved says to the maiden, “Rise up...and come away; / For now the winter is past; / The rain is over and gone. / Flowers appear on the earth; / The time of singing has come, / And the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land” (2:10-12). This indicates that the Lord is leading us to see the vision of resurrection and is bringing us out of our personal spiritual experience and enjoyment so that we may go forward with Him in resurrection. This is the Lord’s call to us today.
We must experience death in order to know the Lord’s resurrection. Paul was spiritual, but he also needed to experience many sufferings, including prison. To be in prison signifies the bondage and restriction that make it impossible for us to be as free as we were previously. Formerly, we had “wings” and could fly wherever we wanted without any restrictions. Now, however, the Lord has put us in a prison under restriction. To be in prison has broad implications. We are in prison when we are down or when our spirit cannot rise. These experiences are necessary, for it is while we are in prison that we experience the Lord’s death and the power of His resurrection. The suffering in prison is not merely outward persecution or difficulties; it is a spiritual killing that will put to death the natural elements in us so that we may be delivered from the self and conformed to His death. The Lord’s death is a mold that puts to death all that belongs to us and resurrects all that belongs to Him.
When the Lord places us in the prison of trials, He gives us a vision of Himself as a gazelle and a young hart. We may be imprisoned behind walls, but He is not obstructed by mountains or hills, because He leaps upon the mountains and skips upon the hills. When He shows us this vision, He calls us to rise up and come away with Him because the winter is past and the rain is over and gone (v. 11). This means that death is gone. According to our feeling, we are still in death, but He says, “All the things of death are over and gone, so you must rise up and come away with Me.” This is resurrection. Hence, when Paul wrote the book of Philippians in prison, he repeatedly said that he rejoiced, and he exhorted the believers to rejoice in the Lord also (2:17-18; 4:4). Paul was transcendent. He was not bound by the environment on the earth, because he knew resurrection, and he knew how to apply resurrection power to his suffering of imprisonment. The suffering of imprisonment, on the one hand, caused Paul’s natural elements to be put to death and, on the other hand, caused all the elements of God to be lived out from within Paul. This is to be conformed to Christ’s death.
In order to make a cake, the dough must be pressed into a mold. Then the dough will have the same form as the mold. The death of the Lord Jesus is a mold, and our person and our living are the dough. God places us in all kinds of environments to “mold” us until we are conformed to the Lord’s death. To be in the form of the Lord’s death means that everything of man, including that which is bad and also that which is good, has to die. When the Lord Jesus became a man, He put on the God-created humanity. His humanity was not bad. Nevertheless, it needed to be put to death. Through His death the things of man were crucified, and the things of God were brought forth. Hence, some things will be terminated through death, but other things will come out of death. The mold of the death of the Lord Jesus has these two aspects.
Our experience of the Lord’s death also has these two aspects. As descendants of Adam, we have both his God-created humanity and his fallen and sinful human element. However, we also have God’s element because we are regenerated. By His mercy we need to experience many revivals, have many new beginnings, because we are still full of mixture. Hence, the Lord needs to remove the unclean and improper fallen things of Adam, and He also needs to put to death the good and proper things of our God-created humanity.
A person cannot be put to death by merely enjoying the Lord’s love, His abundance, or His sweetness, that is, by knowing Him as “a bundle of myrrh” and “a cluster of henna flowers” or by taking Him as “the apple tree.” On the contrary, the more a person touches the Lord’s love and enjoys His sweetness in these ways, the more the element of the self is present. Therefore, the Lord must change the environment and put us into trials, into “prisons,” such as health problems, family problems, problems in the work, changes in the arrangement among the co-workers, or turmoils in the church. Initially, the believers in Asia welcomed Paul, but eventually, they all turned away from him (2 Tim. 1:15). This turning away was more severe than the Roman prison. But it was for Paul to experience being broken and thereby know the resurrection of Christ.
Our spiritual experiences are not according to our desire. It is difficult to find a person who loves the Lord at a young age, who has good health and mental prowess, who advances speedily in every aspect, and who later marries a spiritual spouse and has children who are like Samuel or Timothy, being obedient, intelligent, seeking to be spiritual, having morning watch at the age of seven, reading the Bible with understanding at the age of eight, and knowing how to fellowship with the Lord at the age of nine. Such a child would be ideal, perfect. However, this is all wishful thinking. Similarly, we should not expect that our work will always be effective, that our co-workers will always be in one accord, or that the church under our care will always be prosperous. These are what we desire, but they are never fulfilled.
Our experience is always one of being broken. We may become sick for no reason, and our health may not improve. We may also discover that our spiritual spouse is not spiritual. We may also discover that our child is foolish when we expect him to be intelligent, is mischievous when we expect him to be obedient, and does not love the Lord when we expect him to be spiritual. We may also experience many situations in the work, with our co-workers, with the saints, and in the church, which are like thorns that prick and wound us. Throughout our life’s journey our experience is one of being broken. Perhaps some would say that this is very bad, but we must remember that this is a necessary process; it is the pathway that every seeker of the Lord must follow.
Although we have tasted the sweetness of the Lord’s love and experienced His riches, these experiences are rather shallow and are in the initial stage, in the first two chapters of Song of Songs. If we remain in this stage, one day the Lord will cause us to realize that we are constricted by a wall and cannot move and that He is the mountain-leaping and hill-skipping Christ. We are motionless and lifeless, but He is in resurrection. He will not deceive us. He shows us that there are mountains and hills on His pathway for us, but they are not a problem to those who are in resurrection, because it is easy to leap and skip over the mountains and hills. If we remain in our feelings, we will become a weak maiden who is constricted in a spiritless and lifeless room. Hence, He comes to call us out of our self, to come away and walk with Him. This is to enter into His resurrection. According to our feeling, everything is death, but according to His feeling, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone, the flowers are blooming, and the birds are singing. It is not the time to lie down inside the house but to go out and move.
This was Paul’s experience while he was in prison. Even though his body was constricted in the prison, he was leaping upon the mountains and skipping upon the hills. The prison did not constrict Paul. The books of Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and 2 Timothy reveal that he was leaping and skipping. He was not oppressed or downcast, saying, “Formerly, I could go to Corinth and Asia, but now I cannot move freely. In the past I was received and welcomed everywhere I went, but now all have turned away from me.” If Paul had such an attitude, he would have indeed been in prison and would have been buried there. However, Paul was not imprisoned; he was in resurrection. His spirit was not bound to a prison. Hence, in Philippians he could say, “In like manner you also rejoice, and you rejoice together with me” (2:18). He was able to write Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and 2 Timothy because he was not in a “prison.”
Furthermore, in the prison Paul had a deeper pursuing of the Lord. Paul says that he desired “to know [Christ] and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death” (Phil. 3:10). This means that Paul allowed his human element to be put to death so that God’s element could be brought forth through death. The Epistles that he wrote while in prison indicate that the element of Paul was put to death and that Christ was expressed through him. Hence, in Philippians 1:20-21 Paul says, “Christ will be magnified in my body, whether through life or through death. For to me, to live is Christ.” Paul could say this because he had a vision, a revelation, of resurrection, not because he enjoyed Christ’s sweetness like a bundle of myrrh, a cluster of henna flowers, or an apple tree. These verses are not a matter of enjoyment but of seeing a vision. Paul saw and knew Christ’s resurrection, and in this resurrection he was able to endure the sufferings that others could not endure. Prison did not constrict him; it only put to death his natural element and brought forth the element of Christ within him. Hence, the longer Paul was imprisoned, the more he was conformed to Christ’s death, bearing Christ’s death in his body.
This principle applies to our personal experience and also to the church. The churches in all the localities cannot circumvent this principle. After a period of time there will be a revival, and then after another period of time there will be a trial. The Lord uses this cycle to bring us deeper and higher so that we may know and experience Him more. By the Lord’s grace, one day we will arrive at a stage when others will say that we are going down, but we will say, “No, we are rising up,” or others will say that it is winter, but we will say, “No, the winter is past, the flowers are blooming, and the birds are singing.” This indicates that we know resurrection. This is not merely to enjoy the Lord’s sweetness but even more to know His resurrection. When we know His resurrection, we will be fresh, living, strong, and powerful, and we will experience the power of resurrection practically.
We must experience the Lord’s death and resurrection one day at a time and one experience at a time. Our spiritual experiences have not been arranged in order for us to remain whole. They are for us to be broken and for our human element to be put to death so that we would have a deeper knowing of Christ’s death and His resurrection. This is to be delivered from our human element and to let God’s element grow within us. Hence, there is no room for wishful thinking in our spiritual journey. Many things are contrary to our desire, cause us grief, and make us disheartened. This is our path, this is where we grow, and this is also where the New Jerusalem is produced. The New Jerusalem is constructed with precious stones. Precious stones are produced through intense heat and high pressure. We need heat and pressure so that we can be transformed. If we realize this, we will be at peace and will rejoice in the midst of a painful experience instead of losing heart. Just as the apostle Paul, we will be able to say, “That I may know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.”
