Scripture Reading: Isa. 50:10-11; Psa. 36:9
Spiritual reality is that which is true. It is the truth that sets us free. However, a Christian often does not touch that which is true; instead, he falls into falsehood, and he is deceived and bound by the deception. He does not see the true nature of matters, but is deceived to think that he is very clear. What he thinks and does is totally wrong, and yet he thinks that he is very right. This kind of condition is known as “obsession.” Those who are obsessed need God’s light before they can be delivered from their obsession. Let us first consider what obsession is.
Obsession is self-deception. An obsessed person is like the person described in 1 John 1:8. An obsessed person deceives himself. If a man knows that he has sinned, yet tells others that he has not sinned, this is a lie. But if a man has sinned, yet believes that he has not sinned, this is self-deception. Lying is knowing that one has sinned but telling others that he has not sinned. Being obsessed is having clearly sinned yet, at the same time, thinking that one is as wonderful and as sinless as the Lord Jesus, even to the point that he believes and says that he has no sin. Lying is knowing that one has sinned and trying to deceive others. Being obsessed is believing that one has no sin and telling others that he has no sin, when he has really sinned. In other words, lying is deceiving others, while being obsessed is deceiving oneself. The content of lying and obsession are the same; there is sin in both cases. But in one case, a man’s conscience knows that he has sinned, yet he deceives others by saying that he has not sinned. In the other case, a man’s mind tells him that he has not sinned, and in his heart he also believes that he has not sinned. Those who deceive others are lying, while those who deceive themselves are obsessed. All obsessed persons are self-deceiving persons. All obsessed persons spend so much time considering themselves that they fall into obsession. Many proud people have become obsessed because they not only try to make others believe that they are a certain kind of person, but they themselves believe that they are that kind of person!
Paul was once obsessed. When Stephen was being stoned to death, Paul “approved of his killing” (Acts 8:1). He was obsessed within. When he wrote to the church in Philippi, he mentioned his former condition: “As to zeal, persecuting the church” (Phil. 3:6). He thought that he had to persecute the church in order to serve God with zeal. When men suffered harm, his heart rejoiced. But, according to his consideration, this was not enough. He “went to the high priest and asked for letters from him to Damascus for the synagogues, so that if he found any who were of the Way, both men and women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem” (Acts 9:1-2). He believed that by doing this, he was serving God with zeal. But was this right? His desire to serve God was right. But it was wrong for him to persecute the church and think that by doing so, he was serving God. He was wrong, yet he believed that he was right. This is obsession.
In John 16:2 the Lord Jesus describes some people who are obsessed. He says, “They will put you out of the synagogues; but an hour is coming for every one who kills you to think that he is offering service to God.” To think that one is serving God by killing the Lord’s disciples is to fall into obsession.
Obsession is a matter of the heart. It is doing the wrong thing yet saying in the heart that it is right. If a man does something wrong, yet stubbornly says with his mouth that it is right, this is lying. But if a man does something wrong, and not only says with his mouth but even believes in his heart that it is right, this is obsession. Lying is being stubborn outside and being shriveled inside. In this case, the more confident one is outwardly, the more timid he is inwardly. But obsession is being stubborn both outwardly and inwardly. It is being confident both outwardly and inwardly to the extent that even the conscience seems to justify the act.
The symptom of obsession is thinking and believing that a wrong thing is right to the point that one cannot say that it is wrong. This is being obsessed. There are those who imagine that something is happening with others when nothing actually is happening. The imagination goes so far that they become convinced of a certain matter, and they even come up with proofs and evidences to support their imagination. This also is obsession. Some Christians want to do something or desire to achieve certain goals. In the beginning they have some feeling that what they want to do may not be right. But later, as their thoughts are set in that direction, the more they think about it, the more they feel that it is right, and the more real and true the things become. In the end, they believe that it is absolutely right. They consider it to be the truth, and they tell others that it is the truth. This also is obsession. One can be so obsessed that when others use God’s Word and prove to him that he is wrong, he will still not take heed. It is not easy to help or correct an obsessed Christian, because he believes that his conscience says he is right.
We must be very careful not to have any intention of deceiving others. Even when we say something inaccurate by accident, we should correct it. If we try to consciously say an inaccurate word, we will first deceive others, but in the end, we will fall into self-deception.
There was a brother who wanted to be zealous for the Lord. He felt that he would not appear zealous enough if he prayed with his natural voice. As a result, he tried to generate a different sound. When he prayed this way in the beginning, he felt somewhat strange, and he was conscious that it was not his own voice. But after a long time, he forgot what his original voice was like. Others could feel the unnatural tone in his prayer, yet he thought that it was very natural indeed. Regarding something unnatural as natural is to be obsessed. In the beginning when he was pretending, there was still the feeling, but after he became obsessed, the feeling was gone; he thought that what he had was real. This shows us the pitiful condition of a man who is obsessed.
In the Old Testament, there is one book which shows us what obsessed people are like. This book is Malachi. In 1:2 it says, “I have loved you, says Jehovah.” This is a fact. Yet the Israelites said, “How have You loved us?” This is obsession. The word which came out of the mouth of the Israelites was different from ordinary lying. They were not afraid to say to God, “How have You loved us?” This proves that they sincerely believed in their heart that God had not loved them. They did not believe the facts, they took falsehood as truth. This is being obsessed.
Malachi 1:6 says, “A son honors his father, and a servant his lord. Therefore if I am a Father, where is My honor? And if I am the Lord, where is My fear? says Jehovah of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name.” This is God’s word. Yet they said, “How have we despised Your name?” They did not fear Jehovah, yet they believed that they had not despised His name. This is obsession.
Verse 7 says, “You offer defiled bread upon My altar.” This is God’s word. Yet they said, “How have we defiled You?” They were wrong, yet they believed that they were right. This is obsession.
Malachi 2:13 says, “And this second thing you do: You cover the altar of Jehovah with tears, with weeping and sighing, so that He no longer regards the sacrifice or receives it with pleasure from your hand.” These are facts. Yet they said, “For what reason?” (v. 14). They did something wrong, yet they did not believe that there was such a thing. This is obsession.
Verse 17 says, “You have wearied Jehovah with your words.” This is a fact. Yet they said, “How have we wearied Him?” They wearied God, yet they did not believe that they had done so. This is obsession.
Malachi 3:7 says, “From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from My statutes and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you, says Jehovah of hosts.” This is God’s word. Yet they asked God, “How shall we return?” It seems as if they had never gone away from God’s ordinances. They believed that they did not need to turn any further. This is obsession.
Verse 8 says, “Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me.” This is God’s word. Yet they said, “How have we robbed You?” They robbed God, yet they believed that they had not done anything. This is obsession.
Verse 13 says, “Your words have been strongly against Me, says Jehovah.” This is a fact. Yet they said, “What have we spoken against You?” Their words had been strong against God, yet they believed that they had not done anything. This is obsession.
The New Testament also has a book which speaks a great deal about obsession. It is the Gospel of John. The following are some examples.
John 5:43 says, “I have come in the name of My Father, and you do not receive Me; if another comes in his own name, you will receive him.” The Israelites seemed to be perfectly at peace with their conscience when they rejected the Lord Jesus. This is obsession.
Verse 44 says, “How can you believe when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that is from the only God?” They did not seek the real glory; they sought that which is not glory. What is this? This is obsession.
John 7:19 says, “Has not Moses given you the law? Yet none of you keeps the law. Why do you seek to kill Me?” This is the Lord’s word. The crowd answered, “You have a demon! Who is seeking to kill You?” (v. 20). They were obsessed by their lies. Otherwise, they would not have said, “You have a demon.” They wanted to kill the Lord, yet they were so obsessed that they thought the Lord had a demon.
Verse 27 says, “But we know where this man is from; yet when the Christ comes, no one knows where He is from.” This is again lying to the point of obsession.
It is a pitiful and tragic thing to be obsessed. Those who are obsessed are in a very abnormal condition. Let us consider a few examples of obsession.
Some Christians are obsessed in their speaking. On the one hand, they say something yet believe that they have never said it. On the other hand, they may not say something yet believe that they have said it. Others may not have said something, yet they think that others have said something, and they are convinced that such a thing has been said. Such Christians are not only lying; they are obsessed. Lying is speaking something false while being conscious of it. Being obsessed is speaking something false without being conscious of it. Lying is speaking something false and then realizing that it is wrong. Being obsessed is speaking something false and then thinking that one is right. Some Christians are so obsessed that they take lies for truths, wrongs for right, and falsehoods for facts.
At the beginning, these Christians lie to deceive others. But in the end, they deceive themselves. When one lies, he first deceives one brother, five brothers, and then ten brothers. All the brothers suffer. Yet in the end he pays a great price because this darkness leads him into obsession. He becomes habitual in his lying, and he lies to such an extent that he becomes convinced that he is speaking the truth. He becomes obsessed. In the beginning, lying deceives others. But in the end, it brings one into obsession. For a person to tell another that such and such a thing happened and how real it was, when nothing actually happened, is to lie. But a while later, the same person may go and tell another the same thing, and two people can be deceived. He may then go and tell two more the same thing in detail, and two more people are deceived. When he first lied, he might have felt a little uneasiness, and he might have realized that a Christian should not do such a thing. But as time goes on, he begins to lose his feeling, and he becomes more and more convinced in himself, believing that what he says is true. This is obsession. Being obsessed is fabricating something to deceive others to the extent that eventually one believes it himself.
Some Christians are obsessed with the matter of giving testimonies. A brother once heard many testimonies from others about answers to prayers, God’s blessings to works, and God’s deliverance in troubles. These testimonies stirred up a kind of fantasy within him, and he began to think that his prayers also were answered. He believed that God’s blessings were in his works and that he had experienced God’s deliverance in troubles. Actually, none of these were facts; they were all his imaginations. But whenever he had the opportunity, he would rise up to give his testimonies, and he described them with such detail that they appeared to be very real. In his mouth something ordinary would become an extraordinary event, and something not so wonderful would become something quite wonderful. After he testified this way again and again, he began to believe what he said. At a certain point, he could no longer tell what part was genuine and what part was fabricated. When a man falls so deeply into self-deception, he begins to believe in himself that everything is true. This is obsession.
Some Christians are obsessed with sickness. They do not have any illness, but they think that they are sick with this and that kind of disease. Many such illnesses come from self-love. They are not really sick, and their sicknesses are not recognized by medical doctors. But they love and protect themselves too much. If they have a slight discomfort, they say that they are sick of this or that. When their heart beats a little faster, they say that they have heart disease. When they cough a little, they say that they have tuberculosis of the lungs. If a doctor truthfully tells them that they are not sick, they say that the doctor is not a good doctor. If the doctor agrees with them and says that they are sick, they say that the doctor is good. They say that they are sick, when in fact they are healthy. This is self-love to the point of obsession. In the beginning, they say that they are sick in order to gain the sympathy of their relatives, friends, and family members. But in the end, they truly believe that they are sick. Their heart has created the sickness out of nothing. This is obsession. Being obsessed is deceiving oneself with something fabricated to the extent that one does not realize that he has been deceived by himself.
Some Christians are obsessed with fear. They fear in their heart, but there is no actual cause for fear. They might have been apprehensive at the beginning about certain things. But in the end, they become genuinely afraid of these things. Even if you give them all kinds of reasons to not be afraid, they still cannot believe you. If anyone tells them that they need not fear, they fear all the more. This is being obsessed.
Some Christians are obsessed with speculations. Because of the lack of light, they often take speculation as fact. First they speculate that certain people would do certain things, go to certain places, and say certain words. Later, they believe that the person has indeed done these things, been to those places, and said those words. They can become so obsessed that they consider that something is there when it is actually not there. It may clearly be a case of wrongly blaming a person, but they believe that they have the facts. This is obsession. It is obsession to think that a person is a certain way when he really is not, or to believe that a certain person has done certain things when he really has not. Being obsessed is taking speculations as reality.
There is another kind of obsession. Some Christians are very seeking and are very desirous of going on in a proper way before the Lord. Yet they do not have any light. Something may not be wrong, yet they think that they have done wrong, and they constantly worry about it to the extent that they say the Lord will no longer forgive them and the blood will no longer cleanse them. In God’s eyes, they have not sinned. Yet they are very certain that they have sinned. They think that they have done an irreparable wrong and committed an unforgivable sin. They are full of sorrow, and they weep. Thinking that one confession is not enough, they confess ten times or even a hundred times. Even while they are confessing continuously, they feel that their sin is still present. What is this? This is obsession. One can be obsessed with more than just bad things. It is even possible to be obsessed with the sense of sin. If a seeking Christian does not have the light, he will condemn what he has not committed. This is obsession. Being obsessed is believing that something is real when in fact it is not.
Isaiah 5:20 says, “Woe to those who call good evil,/And evil good;/Who make darkness light,/And light darkness;/ Who make bitterness sweetness,/And sweetness bitterness!” A man can be so obsessed that he calls good evil, and evil good; makes darkness light, and light darkness; makes bitterness sweetness, and sweetness bitterness. He can be obviously wrong and yet be still very confident that he is right. This is very pitiful. The worst thing that can happen to a Christian is to have sinned and be ignorant of it. To have sinned is a matter of defilement, but to be ignorant of sin is a matter of darkness. Defilement is dangerous enough, but if it is complemented with darkness, the danger is even greater. If a Christian lives in darkness, it will not be easy for him to go on, because he does not see.
There are many different symptoms of obsession. It is possible for a Christian to be obsessed with his own thoughts, others’ thoughts, his own words, others’ words, his own spiritual condition, his own sins, or anything he has. Obsession is also a very common thing, and it can happen to any Christian. Of course, some are obsessed to a smaller degree, others are obsessed to a greater degree, while some are obsessed to a very serious degree. Therefore, we must pay attention to this matter.
There are always reasons for Christians to be obsessed. We must now find a few basic reasons for obsession from the Bible.
One great reason for obsession is the fact that men love darkness and do not love light. When a man does not prefer light but prefers darkness, there is bias in his heart, and it becomes easy for him to be obsessed. A man may try at first to avoid difficulties, troubles, and the light by saying that he is right. But in the end, he begins to believe that he is right and good, and he becomes obsessed. The Israelites rejected the Lord Jesus because they loved the darkness rather than the light (John 3:19). They did not have the light, and they dwelt in darkness. Therefore, they considered it justified to reject and hate the Lord Jesus. The Lord said, “If I did not do among them the works which no one else has done, they would not have sin; but now they have both seen and hated both Me and My Father” (15:24). This is because they were obsessed. They hated the Lord Jesus without cause (v. 25). We must realize that wherever there is darkness and wherever there is a lack of light, there is a wrong view, wrong confidence, wrong self-trust, and wrong judgment. Everything that is wrong has the element of obsession in it. The result of not loving the light is obsession.
Pride is another great reason for obsession. Obadiah 3 says, “The arrogance of your heart has beguiled you.” This shows us that another reason for self-deception is pride. Those who are self-deceived to the point of obsession are probably proud ones. A Christian may start out with the intention of gaining vainglory and position before men, and then may begin to pretend and deceive others. Gradually, he begins to deceive himself, and he becomes obsessed in the end. Once a Christian becomes proud, it is easy for him to fantasize that he has something, that he possesses something, and gradually he will regard his fantasy as reality; the result is obsession. Brothers and sisters, do not think that pride is a small sin. Pride can easily lead to obsession. This is why we have to learn to be humble.
Another great reason for obsession is not receiving the love of the truth. Second Thessalonians 2:10-11 tells us that God sends to those who “did not receive the love of the truth…an operation of error that they might believe the lie.” This is a terrible end. When a man believes in lies, the result is obsession. To believe in lies is to believe that there is something when there is actually nothing. When a man does not receive the love of the truth, surely he believes in lies, and when he believes in lies, he is obsessed.
Proverbs 23:23 says, “Buy the truth, and sell it not; / also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding.” Truth is something that we have to buy, something that requires a price. We would be blessed if our hearts were ready to love and receive only God’s truth at any price. But men often do not have a heart to receive the love of the truth. On the contrary, they twist the truth and annul the truth; they hope that this and that are not the truth. They end up believing that this and that are not the truth. They make the truth untruth and the untruth truth, and they appear to be very confident about it. This is being obsessed. We must realize that if a man does not receive the love of the truth once, it will be difficult for him to see the truth later.
A brother who studied in a seminary once went to a theological professor to ask about the matter of baptism. The brother said, “I saw before the Lord that I have been crucified with Christ, that I have died, and that I should be buried. Therefore, I ought to be baptized. What would you say?” The professor said, “I had a similar experience when I was in the seminary. I was about to graduate, and I saw that I was dead and that I ought to be buried and baptized. But if I had been baptized, I would no longer have been able to work in my denomination. I prayed and felt that I would wait until I graduated and was a pastor. Many years have passed since I graduated and became a pastor. I am still not baptized, and everything still seems okay. You should concentrate on your study. After you graduate, you will be a pastor and such questions will not bother you anymore.” Disobeying the truth and thinking that one can live in peace is obsession. Fortunately, the brother did not follow the professor’s advice. Brothers and sisters, when our hearts are not absolute, it will be easy for us to be obsessed.
Another reason for obsession is not seeking the glory that is from the only God. The Lord Jesus said, “How can you believe when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that is from the only God?” (John 5:44). This shows us that the Israelites rejected the Lord and lost eternal life by seeking for another kind of glory. How pitiful this is! The Israelites’ lust for glory turned their hearts towards lies. As a result they believed the lies, began to think highly of themselves, and were obsessed.
Obsession is a tragic thing. God’s children must not be obsessed. Those who are obsessed do not see the true nature of things. In the following paragraphs we will consider the way to see the true nature of things and the way to be saved from obsession.
Isaiah 50:10-11 says, “Who among you fears Jehovah;/ Who hears the voice of His servant;/Who walks in darkness/ And has no light?/Let him trust in the name of Jehovah,/And rely on his God./Behold, all of you who kindle a fire,/Who surround yourselves with firebrands,/Walk into the light of your fire/And into the firebrands which you have lit./You will have this from My hand:/You will lie down in torment.”
Verse 10 is not that easy to understand. If we change the punctuation according to the following way, the meaning may become somewhat clearer: “Who among you fears Jehovah; who hears the voice of His servant—who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of Jehovah, and rely on his God.” This means, “Is there anyone among you who fears the Lord and obeys the voice of His servant?” If someone wants to obey the voice of the Lord’s servant yet walks in darkness and does not have the light, what should he do? He should “trust in the name of Jehovah,/And rely on his God.”
Verse 11 says, “Behold, all of you who kindle a fire,/Who surround yourselves with firebrands,/Walk into the light of your fire/And into the firebrands which you have lit./You will have this from My hand:/You will lie down in torment.” When the Israelites were walking in darkness and did not have the light, it was natural for them to kindle a fire and surround themselves with firebrands. Is it not good that they walked in the light of their fire and in the firebrands that they kindled? No, the result was that they would lie down in torment. Spiritual darkness cannot be removed by human fires. Light comes from God alone and does not come from man. Man’s fire will never bring about genuine spiritual sight.
Our own fire can never be the source of spiritual light. Some Christians have said, “How can you say that I was wrong? I do not think that I was at all wrong. I do not feel that I was wrong at all.” You may think that you are not wrong, you may feel that you are not wrong, and you may believe that you are not wrong, but are you reliable? Some Christians have said, “I have considered a certain matter for a long time. I can say for sure that it should be done this way or that way.” Can you make judgment just because you have thought a matter over? According to God’s Word, this is not the way for Christians to know things. You can try your best to think, but what you come up with is just human fire. A Christian cannot go on in the spiritual pathway by his own fire. He should trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God. Only then will he see and only then will he be able to go on in the spiritual pathway. Many times, the more we think by ourselves, the more confused and deceived we become. We must see that spiritual light does not come from our feelings or our thoughts. The more a person searches inwardly for light, the more he will not find light, because light is not there.
Let us read Psalm 36:9: “For with You is the fountain of life;/In Your light we see light.” This shows us that through God’s light, a man sees light and the true condition of things. “In Your light we see light.” The first light is the enlightening light, and the second light denotes the true nature of things. This means that we can only see the true nature of anything when we are in the light of God. One only sees the true nature of something when he lives in God’s light.
Brothers and sisters, it makes a great difference where we live. We must live in God’s light before we can be one who sees. Some Christians command our respect not because they are good men, but because they live before the Lord. First John 1:5 says, “God is light.” All those who know God know the light. We can find God from those who know the light. Once we meet a person who knows God’s light, he will know our true condition, and he will be able to point out our error. He is not fastidious; he is merely sharp with his inward eyes, and he can discover the true condition of things easily. Those who do not have the light may consider some things very good. But those who have the light will discern the true nature of these things. Only those who live in God’s light will see light. Only those who live in God’s light will see the true nature of things. When a man is under the strong light of the sun, there is no need for him to use a torchlight. Those who are under God’s light have no need of human fire. If a man lives in God’s light, the true nature of things will be as clear and bright as light itself. If a man is under God’s light, he will discern the intrinsic nature of things. The only time a person genuinely knows himself is when he knows himself under God’s light. If we are not in God’s light, we may sin, but we will not feel the evil of sin. We may fail, but we will not feel the shame of failure. We may perform well outwardly, but inwardly we will not know how deceitful we are. We may be humble outwardly, but inwardly we will not know how proud we are. We may appear gentle outwardly, but inwardly we will not know how stubborn we are. We may appear spiritual outwardly, but inwardly we will not know how fleshly we are. When God’s light shines on us, our true condition will be exposed, and we will see and admit how blind we have been!
The difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament is that the Old Testament shows men what is right and what is wrong through outward laws, while the New Testament shows men the true nature of things through the Holy Spirit dwelling within. We often see our error through doctrines, but we do not see our error through God’s light. We have to realize that it is superficial to see our error through doctrines. Only when we see our error through God’s light is there a thorough seeing. When we are in God’s light we see what God sees. This is seeing the light in the light.
In order to not be obsessed, we need to live in God’s light. But the greatest temptation for us is to light our own fire. Whenever we encounter problems, we try to search inwardly to find out what is right and what is wrong. Brothers and sisters, this is not the way God wants us to take. We have to humble ourselves and admit that we are not trustworthy, that our judgments are not trustworthy, and that our thoughts and conduct are not trustworthy. It is possible for us to make mistakes. What we consider as right may not be right, and what we consider as wrong may not be wrong. What we consider as sweet may not be sweet, and what we consider as bitter may not be bitter. What we consider as light may not be light, and what we consider as darkness may not be darkness. We should not replace God’s light with our own light; we should receive our light from God.
The Lord said, “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is single, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eye is evil, your whole body will be dark. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” (Matt. 6:22-23). Once a Christian loses the inward light, he will become obsessed. It is very pitiful to fail to see what we should see and fail to know what we should know. We must ask God to enlighten us so that we can touch Him. The Christian life should not be one that is filled with questions, doubts, or uncertainties. We should see if something is right or not right. If we see, we will not be obsessed.
The Lord said, “If anyone resolves to do His will, he will know concerning the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself” (John 7:17). The condition for receiving the light is seeking after God’s will. Whenever we are faced with any situation, we should not be so confident to say whether it is right or wrong. We need to ask God for His mercy, so that we may have an absolute desire to do His will. Stubbornness, selfishness, and self-justification can all shut out God’s light. If we want God’s light, we need to be gentle and not selfish or self-assured. We must be humble. May the Lord save us day by day to live in His light, so that we know what is real and what is true. May the Lord deliver us from lies and obsessions.
