After a man is saved, he should experience a definite change in his disposition as well as in his conduct. Salvation changes us in life, in disposition, and in conduct. The most important change in a believer's disposition and conduct is a change in his temper. The greatest problem many people have before they are saved is their temper. If a man has been a Christian for many years and yet has not experienced any change in his temper, he will lose his testimony before the Gentiles and the church. Under normal circumstances, a man should experience a change in his temper as soon as he is saved.
At the time a person is saved, we should tell him that he should have a few marks or signs. The first mark is loving one another. Loving one another is the Lord's charge to His disciples (John 13:34). It should be the strongest mark of a believer. The second mark is meekness. The Lord says that the meek are blessed (Matt. 5:5). He entered Jerusalem on a little colt. This is a mark of His meekness (21:5) and a pattern for us to follow. The third mark is self denial. The Lord said, "If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself" (16:24). A Christian should not try to build up himself. Instead, he should deny himself. The fourth mark is patience. A believer has to learn patience under all kinds of circumstances (1 Cor. 13:7). The fifth mark is to rejoice always. A saved person should not be short in his joy under any circumstance. "Rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil. 4:4). This is a commandment of the Lord. The sixth mark is peace. We have the peace of God, and this peace guards our hearts and thoughts (Phil. 4:7). The seventh mark is lowliness. The Lord says, "I am meek and lowly in heart" (Matt. 11:29). We have to take His yoke and learn from Him. Christ does not remain lofty on high but stoops in lowliness. A worker should tell new believers these seven things and remind them that these are normal expressions of a Christian. Then he should point out that anger and temper are incompatible with the disposition of a Christian.
Temper is incompatible with the proper Christian expression. It is incompatible with a believer's very disposition. We should realize that where love flourishes, temper cannot remain. The Lord charges us to love everyone, no matter who he is, even if he is our enemy (Matt. 5:44). If we love a person, we will not be angry with him. We cannot love a person and be angry with him at the same time. Temper is contrary to the very nature of love. Our whole Christian life should consist of nothing but love for others; we should not be angry at anyone.
The Lord also charges us to be meek. He is meek in Himself. The Bible says He is meek and lowly in heart. He renders comfort to others all the time. If a man is meek and his meekness is lived out in his attitude and walk, he will not lose his temper. A man with a temper is a coarse person. Temper is the coarsest of all human sentiments, while love is the finest of all sentiments. Love is expressed in meekness. If a man is meek before God, he surely will not have a quick temper.
Third, we have to show the new believers that the Lord wants us to deny ourselves. Specifically, denying ourselves means rejecting the self. Denying one's self is not speaking for one's right and learning to endure in all things. No matter how others treat us, we will not be angry. God's children should reject their self and be free from the self. When they are free from the self, temper will be gone. Temper is a mark of those who refuse to deny the self.
Fourth, we have to show the new ones that one strong Christian characteristic is patience. Patience endures all things. Temper is contrary to patience. It is true that some people treat us unreasonably, but we should always love, and love is not easily provoked. The Lord has arranged various circumstances around us. We should be patient and should not lose our temper easily.
Fifth, a Christian should rejoice. God has given us a life that rejoices always. It is possible for us to be without a temper. Temper has no place in a Christian's life. Our Christian life should be filled with joy from the very start. This is because the life we have is a joyful life.
Sixth, a Christian not only has joy but peace as well. Like joy, peace is a part of the life a Christian possesses. Nothing can disturb the peace we have within us. We have to pray that the Lord would guard our hearts and thoughts from any attack. This will keep us from losing our temper.
Seventh, a Christian is lowly. A child of God should be the most lowly person in the world. Temper and lowliness are incompatible with one another. An angry man is never a lowly man; there is no humility at all within him. God's children should follow the lowly Lord and take the lowly path. They should learn to not lose their temper in anything. We have to say to new ones, "Matthew 5:22 says that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to the judgment. Anger and temper are incompatible with a believer's walk." The greatest and most frequent problem a believer faces is his temper. Temper is linked to anger. A new believer should deal with this matter at the beginning of his Christian life. This is the most basic dealing he should experience. Some may ask, "Why is it so crucial to deal with our temper? Why must we solve this problem?" We must deal with this clearly before we can help others. We must settle this issue thoroughly before we can present a straight pathway to the new believers.
Why does a person lose his temper? Strictly speaking, temper is not a sickness. Among God's children today, temper is a big problem, but the Bible gives very little place to discussion of the temper. The Bible does not pay much attention to the matter of the temper. We have to tell new ones that the Bible does not pay much attention to temper because temper is not a sickness; it is merely a symptom of a sickness. A man may have appendicitis and a high fever. Appendicitis is the sickness, while the fever is the symptom. It is useless to just treat the symptom — the fever. As soon as one removes the appendix, the fever subsides. We must realize that temper is not a sickness. By the time a man loses his temper, it is too late; his sickness has advanced and is beyond the stage of prevention. Temper is not the cause of the illness. There is a cause to his temper. Unless this cause is removed, there is no way to get rid of the symptom. If we do not realize this truth, we will have a problem with such texts as Romans 6:11. When we lose our temper, we may think of this verse, but it does not do us any good because this verse deals with the root of the sickness, not the symptom. Temper has its root in the self. In order to deal with the temper, we must first deal with the self. Once the self is dealt with, the problem of the temper is solved. In order to deal with the self, we have to deal with the various expressions of the self. Once we take care of the expressions of the self, we have dealt with the self, and subsequently the temper.
The first expression of the self is subjectivity. Subjectivity is, in fact, the greatest expression of the self. Many people are very subjective. They always consider themselves as the center; their self is very important to them. If they make up their mind on something, they insist on their idea. They do not quit until they achieve their goal. If others do not agree with them or do not follow their way, they become angry and lose their temper. The root of this temper lies in their subjective will, in the fact that they are not able to carry out their subjective views. If their subjectivity is dealt with, they will say, "Lord, this is Your hand. I have nothing to say." If they surrender this way, they no longer will lose their temper. If everyone is dealt with this way, temper will disappear. No one has a proper perspective of his self when he is angry. If a man's subjectivity is beaten and broken, he spontaneously will be free from his temper.
The second expression of the self is pride. A proud person does not know himself. Only those who do not know their self see themselves more highly than they should. Those who think highly of themselves and who consider themselves better than, or at least different from, others, do not know the self. A person who is ignorant of his own self and who always thinks highly of himself is a proud person. Proud persons want others to exalt them. They want to see others under them. Such ones never want to give glory to others. They always want others to uplift them. If they meet a man who does not know them and does not acknowledge their superiority, but instead, who criticizes them, they become angry with him. They become angry because their pride is wounded. From this we see that the root of temper is pride. Hence, we have to deal with pride. When we are despised, slandered, mocked, and criticized, we have to learn to say, "Lord, this is your dealing hand. I accept it. Except for Your hand, no one can do this to me." Once a man holds this view, he submits himself to the Lord's hand and denies himself. Spontaneously, his pride will be gone, and his temper will disappear. Once a man kills his pride, his temper will lose its steam.
The third expression of the self is self-love. Self-love is love for one's own self. Many people express their self-love subconsciously in the course of their communication with others. A self-loving person only pays attention to himself when he is with others. The most important person is himself. Whatever he does, he regards himself as the center. A self-loving person only pays attention to himself in every necessity of life; he is concerned only for himself. He insists on eating the best food, having the best house, sleeping on the best bed, and using the best utensils. If others have the best food, the most comfortable dwelling, or the best chair, he will feel robbed of his opportunity to pamper his self-love. As a consequence, he will lose his temper. Such a person cannot suffer or be taken advantage of. If others wound his self-love by accident, he becomes very angry. It is useless for a person to deal with temper without also dealing with his self. We should live by the Lord's grace and mercy on this earth rather than by ourselves. If our self is dealt with, we will not lose our temper even under very irritating circumstances. A person whose self is not dealt with can never be free from his temper.
The fourth expression of the self is a love for material things. Some people not only love themselves; they love material things. Such ones are not yet delivered from the material world. For example, some people love food, money, or other things. These things are their idols. If someone breaks a favorite glass by accident or damages their treasures, they become very angry. Their love for material things is wounded. If a man's love for material things is not dealt with, his temper will always remain.
The fact that a man loses his temper easily has nothing to do with other people; it has to do with himself. Brother Lawrence once slapped his hand on a piece of wood, then on some glass, and then on the wall. He used the same hand to hit three different things, and the sounds produced were all different. He pointed out that the difference in sound was not due to the hand, but to the different kinds of materials hit. The same can be said about man's temper. It does not flare up because of the environment but because of the very nature within man. The environment only brings out the temper that is already within him. If a man does not deal with his self but only tries to deal with his temper, he is a foolish man. He will never be able to deal with his temper because he is only dealing with the symptom of his sickness; he has not touched the root of his temper.
We have seen that temper is not an illness but a symptom. Yet from the symptoms, we often can diagnose an illness. If a man loses his temper, it means that there is something abnormal in him. There are four reasons for a Christian to lose his temper. First, a person who refuses the discipline of the Holy Spirit loses his temper. A man with a temper complains and gets angry when he faces adversity. Not only is he short of light from God, but he blames others as well. He will not accept the discipline of the Holy Spirit which is placed in his environment. Second, a person loses his temper because he is dissatisfied with God's arrangement. A man with a temper often is a man who is dissatisfied with his environment. No matter what God does to his environment, he is always dissatisfied. He always wants more. Third, a Christian loses his temper because he only cares for his own things. Some people are quiet by nature. They are only interested in their own things, and they have no interest in others' affairs. Everything they do is for themselves. They have no time for others. When others come, they feel bothered. If their work takes up too much time, they become angry. They cannot stand others' bothering. When others bother them, they condemn them and say that they are infringing on their freedom. Many people lose their temper because they care only for their own things. Hence, we should tell new ones that the root of all temper is the self. Fourth, a man loses his temper because of self-exaltation. Some people become mad and angry as a result of their struggle to exalt themselves. They think that others should not be the same as they are. They want to have everything for themselves and nothing for others. They are always jealous of others, not only in material things but in spiritual things as well. When they see others achieving something, they become jealous and angry. This is a very mean attitude. They have the same kind of feelings as Satan. They rejoice in the fall of those whom they dislike. They are sympathizers of Satan. Such ones are filled with jealousy in their heart. In order to be delivered from their anger, they must remove jealousy from their heart. When a man who knows God is exalted, he rejoices at others' exaltation as well. He will not trample upon others or debase others.
Temper comes from the self. If a man has a temper, it is because his self is not dealt with one way or another. We have to learn to prostrate ourselves before God and be open to His shining. We should consider our own condition. Every day many things come upon us. We should bow our heads and say, "Lord, Your arrangements are always the best." Many cows and sheep are nervous under the hand of their shepherd because they do not know their master; they only see the rod and staff of the shepherd. If we only see the environment without seeing the Lord behind the environment, we will not be at peace, and we will easily lose our temper. But if we see that every situation is in our Shepherd's hand, having been measured by Him, we will be at peace. If we accept the Holy Spirit's discipline and God's arrangements, every negative problem will disappear. When temper tries to flare up, we will isolate the self and find deliverance in the light. In this way we will be able to rise to our feet quickly.
