Search
After a man has received the Lord's grace, there should be some definite changes in his conduct and nature. One of the changes should be in his temper. Some people have believed in the Lord for many years, yet their temper is still the same as it was before they were saved. This is very unfortunate, and it surely does not glorify the Lord. As soon as a man believes in the Lord, he should take care of the problem of his temper. It is wrong for a person to have a terrible temper for years without seeing any change at all.
There are some clear expressions of the Christian life that should be exhibited as soon as a person is saved.
In John 15:12 the Lord charged the disciples to love one another. One expression of the Christian life is love. We have to love. We should love our brothers, and we should love all men.
The Lord also said, "Blessed are the meek" (Matt. 5:5). A Christian should have a meek attitude; he should not be stubborn. We should learn to have a meek attitude. "Behold, your King is coming to you, meek and mounted on a donkey, and on a colt, a foal of a beast of burden" (21:5). The Lord was meek in His attitude; He came meek and mounted on a donkey.
Luke 9:23 says, "If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself...and follow Me." The Christian life is a life of denying the self. The Christian life should not be one that speaks for itself, fights for itself, or builds itself up; rather, it should be one that denies itself.
First Corinthians 13:7 says that love "endures all things." The Christian life should not be one of impatience, but one of endurance.
First Thessalonians 5:16 says, "Always rejoice." The Christian life should be one that always rejoices. Nothing should disturb our joy or quench our rejoicing.
Philippians 4:7 says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses every man's understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." A Christian should not allow anything to disturb or usurp his peace. God's children should maintain their peace at all times.
Matthew 11:29 is also a very important verse. It is the Lord's own word: "I am meek and lowly in heart." A Christian should be lowly in heart. He should not be arrogant; rather, he should humble himself all the time.
Love, meekness, self-denial, joy, peace, and humility are all proper expressions of the Christian life. Temper and anger are not compatible with these expressions.
Where there is love, there is no anger. Where love flourishes, anger does not exist. Where love is, temper does not exist. One cannot be loving and angry at the same time. The Lord's command is that a Christian should love others, whether they are unbelievers or believers. If love fills your heart, anger will depart. It is impossible to love a person and be angry with him at the same time. You must realize how important love is for a child of God. Love should not be in just your conduct; it must become your attitude as well. You should not love occasionally; rather, love has to be your attitude. If you have such an attitude, it will be impossible for you to lose your temper.
The Lord commands us to be meek, and He was very meek when He was on earth. He came on a donkey, which means that He does not reign with severity but in meekness. When the Lord was on earth, it was easy for men to talk to Him, invite Him, and approach Him. It is hard to talk with some people, but a Christian should be anything but unapproachable. It should not be a hard thing to approach him. A Christian should be meek. If we are meek in our attitude and nature, spontaneously we will not lose our temper easily. Temper makes a person hard; those who have a temper are crude in their emotion. Love and compassion are the finest of all human affections, while anger is the crudest. If a man is meek in the eyes of the Lord, he will not give any ground to anger. It is an expression of crudeness for one to constantly argue and lose his temper. This is not compatible with meekness.
The Lord charges us to deny ourselves and to learn to be self-denying. If a man denies himself and drops his rights, he will not get angry easily. Men become angry when they want to fight for themselves. If a man does not fight for himself, he will not need to lose his temper. Brothers and sisters, as children of God we should deny ourselves and not protect ourselves.
Sometimes others are unreasonable with us. Many things tend to provoke us, but the Bible says that love is not provoked (1 Cor. 13:5). The Lord shows us that we should be patient. Whatever the Lord allows to happen to us, we should be patient. The Lord's command is that a Christian's life be a life of patience. If we live a patient life, there will be no possibility of losing our temper.
A Christian should always rejoice. Joy is life. A man cannot be angry and rejoicing at the same time; this is impossible. Either you are rejoicing or you are angry. When you are angry, you cannot possibly be rejoicing. A man cannot be happy and angry at the same time. If the Lord's joy fills your heart, there will be no place in your life left for anger. The Lord has not given you ground for your anger. Brothers and sisters, if your life is filled with joy, your bad temper will be gone spontaneously.
The Lord intends that we be filled with peace. Nothing should disturb our peace. We should be at peace in the midst of everything, no matter what the circumstance. The Lord's peace guards our minds and hearts from all attacks. If our hearts are filled with this peace, it will be impossible for us to become angry.
A child of God should be one who humbles himself. God does not want us to be high-minded; He does not want us to sit in a high place. God's Son humbled Himself when He was on earth. He desires that we would also be lowly and that we would go along with the lowly (Rom. 12:16). Temper is incompatible with humility. We have to follow and learn of our lowly Lord who took a lowly way.
In Matthew 5:22 the Lord said, "But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to the judgment." The Lord is not pleased to see any of His own becoming angry or losing their temper easily. It is especially bad to get angry or lose our temper with our brothers. Every child of God should learn to control his temper and not become angry easily.
Anger is a common thing, and there are many people who lose their temper easily. But temper is the most superficial of all problems. Strictly speaking, it should be dealt with the moment we believe in the Lord. It is wrong to see a person with an uncontrollable or unmanageable temper eight or ten years after he is saved. So many people lose their temper easily. Why? So many Christians have not dealt with this problem yet. Why? If we cannot answer these questions, we cannot be proper Christians. We must understand the reason that a man becomes angry easily before we can find the solution to this problem.
Temper is a big thing. Yet in reading the New Testament, we cannot find the word temper. The Bible does not pay much attention to what we consider as the most common sickness, because temper is not a sickness but the symptom of a sickness. A sickness is one thing, and the symptom of a sickness is another thing. A man may have appendicitis — this is a sickness. He may have a fever as well — this is a symptom of the sickness. Symptoms are present because a sickness is present. It is useless to try to deal with the symptoms without dealing with the sickness. The fever may subside temporarily, but the sickness remains, and after a while the fever will come back. Temper is not a sickness but the symptom of a sickness. Hence, we have to know the root of the sickness. Once we know the root, we can get rid of the temper. Once the sickness is gone, the symptoms will surely go away. We have to realize that temper is a symptom and not a root of sickness. It is wrong for us to consider temper a sickness. It is no wonder that we cannot deal with it, because we consider it as a sickness.
Many brothers have said that they have a problem with Romans 6:11 because they still cannot overcome their temper. Romans 6:11 says that we should reckon ourselves to be dead, but many people have a problem applying this verse. When they are about to lose their temper, they hurriedly try to recite Romans 6:11, saying, "I have died, and since I have died, I can no longer lose my temper." Yet this is not effective. Romans 6:11 is not about delivering us from the symptoms of sickness but about saving us from the sickness. It is useless if we try to apply it to our symptoms. If we try to reckon ourselves to be dead when we are about to lose our temper, we will still lose it. We may not lose it outwardly, but we will lose it inwardly.
What is the root of our temper? The simple answer lies with the self. If a man has not dealt with his self, he is heading in the wrong direction if he tries to deal with his temper. A man loses his temper because of the self. His self is his sickness; his temper is not his sickness. Because a man has the self, he has temper. If the self is dealt with before God, temper will be gone spontaneously. This is why the Bible pays attention to the self instead of our temper. Once the problem with the self is solved, the problem with temper is solved as well. As long as the problem with the self remains, the problem with temper remains. Concerning the self, there are several things that we should realize.
First, some people are very subjective. Those who are subjective are surely full of the self. They have opinions and concepts for everything, and they think that their concepts and opinions are never wrong. They also constantly insist on their opinions and proposals. They cannot stand any obstacles, frustrations, or breaking down. Their opinions must prevail and persist to the end. If anyone does not agree with their proposals or go along with their opinions, their subjective nature has no tolerance. Consequently, they lose their temper and become very angry. Brothers and sisters, if your eyes are only on your temper, you will never be healed of the sickness. Your sickness is your subjectivity and strong will; it is not your temper. Once your subjectivity is broken and your will and opinions are bruised, you will say to the Lord, "Lord, this is Your work, and I submit to You." If you do this, how can you lose your temper again? If you kneel down and say, "Lord, this is Your business; it is Your work" when your proposals are cut off, how can you lose your temper? It will be impossible for you to lose your temper. You only have a temper because you insist on your proposals and opinions. When you insist on your way of doing things, the self comes out and temper follows. No one can lose his temper if his self is removed. The root of your temper lies in the self. It is foolish to spend so much effort to deal with your temper while forgetting to deal with your self. Once a man believes in the Lord, the self must be broken. The self cannot remain whole before the Lord, and it is not worth keeping. If a man is free from the self, he will not lose his temper even when he is interrupted, frustrated, or tried.
Second, some people have a temper because they think they are better than others. They think highly of themselves and think that they are superb. In other words, they are proud. Everyone who is proud not only considers himself higher than others, but also demands that others admire and regard him highly. No proud person is satisfied with just having a high regard for himself. He is not content with just himself saying that he is good; he wants others to say that he is good. A proud person is not content with self-admiration; he wants everyone to admire him and the brothers and sisters to exalt him. If another brother does not appreciate his "worthiness," his "importance," or his high "spiritual attainment" or does not speak marvelously of him, he feels hurt and becomes angry! Where is the source of this anger? It comes from pride. A man becomes angry because he is proud. Brothers and sisters, if you remove your pride, you will remove your temper. It is impossible to remove one's temper without first removing his pride. The root of temper is pride. You will not lose your temper if you are a humble person in the eyes of God, if you consider others' jesting, despising, and slandering as the discipline of the Holy Spirit, and if you accept this disciplining work, saying, "Lord, this is all for my own good; these things have happened to me because You want to deal with my pride. Lord, I thank You for Your perfecting work in these things." Then when a brother does not obey and instead damages your standing, you will feel that pride is wrong and that it is all right to be hurt. If you do this, you will not lose your temper; rather, you will say to the Lord, "It is right for You to deal with my pride." If you know God's hand, you will not lose your temper. Brothers and sisters, temper is not a sickness. If you deal with temper as if you were dealing with a sickness, you will never succeed. You have to learn to prostrate yourself before the Lord and say, "You can do whatever You want." If you put your self aside and are willing to deny and deal with your self, you will see that your strength to lose your temper will be gone, your motivation to lose your temper will be gone, and your temper will lose its grip.
Third, as a consequence of self-exaltation, you think that others should not be as highly regarded as you. You only want to see yourself being uplifted; you do not want to see others being uplifted. You only want to gain something for yourself; you do not want others to gain anything. You rejoice at others' failure and are sad at others' success. This is jealousy, and jealousy occurs not only in the secular realm but also in the spiritual realm. Those who are proud rejoice at their brothers' failures and are unhappy when they see their brothers standing. This is a despicable attitude. No attitude is more despicable. If a man rejoices when others fall, he is the same as Satan, who loves to see others fall. What a shame for God's children to have Satan's sentiment! The meanest and most despicable sentiment is one which rejoices rather than grieves over a brother's fall. The basis for this kind of feeling is the desire for the self to be exalted. One hopes to see everyone around him fall in order that he can be exalted. Brothers and sisters, a person who knows God wants to see both himself and others rise. Those who do not know God want to see themselves rise, yet do not want to see others rise. They even hope to see others fall so that they can be exalted by the contrast. This is a despicable sentiment. Temper often comes because there is jealousy in the heart. If you are a self-exalting person, you will be angry if you see someone better and higher than you. Jealousy leads to anger. If you ignore jealousy and try to deal with just your temper, you will never succeed. You must uproot jealousy from your heart before you can remove your temper. If jealousy remains, your temper will flare up again and again.
Fourth, with some people the self is expressed in the form of self-love. They love themselves more than anyone else. Their attention is on themselves, and the only persons they treasure dearly are themselves. When it comes to eating, the most important ones to be taken care of are themselves. When it comes to lodging, the first ones to be taken care of are themselves. When it comes to bedding, the first ones to be taken care of are themselves. In everything related to the human life, the first ones in their mind are themselves. They want more benefit for themselves. They want more comfort for themselves. All of their thoughts are centered around themselves. They care for themselves and treasure themselves. When any discomfort comes their way, they become angry. Many people become angry because their self-love is hurt. They love themselves so much that they are not willing to suffer any hurt, pain, or embarrassment. Once their self-love is hurt and they fall into some discomfort, suffering, or embarrassment, they become very angry and lose their temper. Those who have learned this lesson before the Lord know that they live on this earth for the Lord and according to God's grace; they do not live according to their self-love. They live by His grace and not by their self-love. They realize that they live and stand because of His mercy and protection. When they live this way, they do not lose their temper even if they are very justified in doing so. Their self-love has been dealt with. Brothers and sisters, I hope that we realize that all of our temper stems from the self. If the self is not dealt with, temper will remain. We cannot expect anyone to stop their temper if the self is not dealt with. Those who do not deal with themselves will find that their temper is still with them.
Fifth, some brothers and sisters love themselves so much that they care only for their own things. They are only interested in their own affairs and have no interest in the affairs of others. They have no interest in helping others. Their conduct and thoughts are centered around themselves. They are the most important persons, and their affairs are the most important affairs. Their thoughts are on themselves, and whatever they do is for themselves. They are busy for themselves, and they care for themselves. Therefore, they have no time left for others. If others bother them, they become irritated, and their temper flares up. Their activities are centered around themselves, and they have no sympathy for others. They love themselves so much that they have no time to sympathize with others. They are so busy with themselves that they have no strength to bear others' sorrow. Many people lose their temper when others infringe upon their self-centered love; they feel disgusted and bothered, and they are impatient and angry. The root of all anger is in man's self. If we are not self-centered and are able to sympathize with others and if we learn to love others, we will not feel bothered and angry when others trouble us. We will feel that it is a joy to help others and that by helping others we are serving God. Therefore, we must not deal just with our temper, because it is not the root. We must deal with the root of the sickness. If our self is dealt with, our temper will be gone. The more thoroughly we deal with the self, the more our temper will go away.
Sixth, some people love not only themselves, but they have other kinds of love — they love things; they love money. Some people are not yet delivered from material possessions. Money and material possessions are precious to them. All kinds of things are precious to them. They have a self that craves things, objects. The expression of the self in these people is in their love for objects. If someone comes to their house and breaks an object or loses something that belongs to them, they become very angry because they are hurt; the self which is attached to the objects is hurt, and the result is anger. The cause of their anger lies within themselves, not in others. If you hit a piece of wood with your hand, what kind of sound will you hear? You will hear the sound of wood. If you knock on the wall, what kind of sound will you hear? You will hear the sound of the wall. If you knock on a piece of glass, what kind of sound will you hear? You will hear the sound of glass. The hand is the same, and the knocking is the same, but the sounds that are produced are different. One is wood, and the sound is the sound of wood. One is a wall, and the sound is the sound of a wall. One is glass, and the sound is the sound of glass. Different objects have different sounds because the nature of these things is different. An outward phenomenon is an expression of the inward nature of something. Our temper is within; it is not outside of us. If the self is gone, the environment cannot stir up our temper. A man loses his temper because there is the element of self within him. As long as the self is within, he will lose his temper given the right environment. The environment does not produce the temper; it merely brings out the temper that is within.
In conclusion, anger comes from man's self. As long as a person is angry, it means that a certain aspect of the self has not been dealt with. Perhaps many aspects of the self have not been dealt with, or perhaps one particular aspect of the self remains. Therefore, the extent to which one's temper is dealt with depends on the extent to which the self has been dealt with before the Lord. The more thoroughly a man's self is dealt with, the more he is delivered from his temper. If the self is not clearly dealt with, his temper will remain. We should not be so foolish as to just deal with our temper. We should remember that the problem of self is much deeper than the problem of temper. If we do not deal with the self, our temper will always be present. As we learn to prostrate ourselves before the Lord, we will be enlightened concerning the condition of the self, and God's mercy will bring about many things in our circumstances. If we have learned some lessons before the Lord, we will bow our head when these things come upon us and say, "Lord, Your arrangements are the best. It is good that You deal with my self this way. I submit and I accept these dealings." If you do this, your anger will not be vented. If you do not know the Lord's hand, like a mule that is without understanding, you will think that men or the environment are inflicting these dealings on you. When your eyes are set on men and the environment, you will be rebellious and angry. It is useless for a person to deal with his temper without first dealing with the self. We have to see that the root of temper is in us. Temper in a Christian is a sign of his refusal to accept the arrangement of the Holy Spirit in his environment. We have to learn to accept the discipline of the Holy Spirit and set ourselves aside. We have to realize the futility of the self. If we do these things, the problem of temper will be solved spontaneously.
Immediately after believing in the Lord, we should deal with the problem of temper. We should not allow this problem to continue; nor should we deal with it only after we have been Christians for many years. A Christian should be one who denies himself. He should not be subjective, proud, jealous, self-loving, or self-caring, and he should not love money. We need to deny the self and realize that everything that comes upon us is under the Spirit's arrangement for our own good. We should learn to accept everything. We should not deal with our temper as a symptom, but we should deal with the root of the sickness. We cannot deal with our temper without dealing with the self. Where there is temper, there is the self. We have a quick temper because we have a quick disposition. However, do not think that those who are slow will not lose their temper. They lose their temper as well, except in a different way. As long as there is the self, there is temper. Brothers and sisters, in order for us not to lose our temper, we have to deal with the self. Once we are enlightened concerning the self, we will be delivered from our temper.
