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Paul was not a Gentile; he did not worship idols or commit gross sins. He grew up in a God-seeking environment, and he was a God-seeker. He says, “I advanced in Judaism beyond many contemporaries in my race” (Gal. 1:14). Paul was more advanced, pious, zealous, and God-seeking than many of his contemporaries. He was so strong in his seeking of God that he was considered blameless in regard to the righteousness that is in the law (Phil. 3:6). According to morality and human culture, he was faultless. Paul did a top religious work in the top religious environment. However, according to 1 Timothy 1:13, Paul acknowledged that he had opposed God to the uttermost, being a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insulting person. Even the idolatrous and grossly sinning Gentiles did not oppose God as much as Paul did. He opposed not only God but also the church, which Christ gave Himself up for by shedding His blood (Gal. 1:13, 23; Eph. 5:25).
Although Paul’s zealousness and earnestness in serving God were unparalleled, he opposed God to the uttermost. In Acts 22:3 Paul said that he “trained at the feet of Gamaliel, according to the strictness of the law of our fathers.” Trained in Greek means “educated.” Paul was born, raised, and educated in a God-seeking and God-serving environment. The names of idols were not in his mouth, and he committed no offenses or crimes with his hands. Everything he did was for God. Were it not for the light that shined on him from God, no one would be able to believe that such a one could be an opposer of God.
It is possible for us to repeat Paul’s mistakes. We have been trained for many years in the church, and we serve more zealously than most Christians. Not only do we regard ourselves in this way, but even others have such a regard for us. Our situation is just like that of Paul, who was praised by his contemporaries. Certainly the priests and elders praised the young Paul, who was so promising, resolute, and able. The priests and elders surely were pleased that he was able to do so much. Nevertheless, Paul did not know that he was in darkness. Although we may be able to boast of our many years of training, our love for God, our service to God, and our absoluteness for God, we may be no different than Paul. Before he was saved, Paul thought that his persecution of the church and the things that he did contrary to the name of Jesus were part of his zealous service to God.
Satan was the source of Paul’s zealous service. When we say this, some religionists will argue that Satan does not want man to be zealous for God. No one questions Satan’s influence on a person who indulges in going to theaters and nightclubs. But if a person zealously attends meetings, serves God, and is an elder in the church, no one would dare speak of this activity as being from Satan. However, the Bible indicates that it is possible to zealously serve God under Satan’s influence.
In John 16:2 the Lord Jesus said, “They will put you out of the synagogues; but an hour is coming for everyone who kills you to think that he is offering service to God.” Although serving God may not be motivated by Satan, killing always comes from Satan. However, in this verse the Lord Jesus connected serving God with killing. Satan can motivate people, who believe that they are serving God, to kill. In other words, Satan can delude people into thinking that killing is a service to God.
According to the revelation of the Bible, our body, our flesh, is still under the authority of Satan. Therefore, no matter how pious or zealous we are, our piety or zeal may be of Satan. There is nothing that Satan cannot use. Satan can use the piety and zeal of the most pious and zealous person. Saul of Tarsus was used by Satan to the uttermost. Saul did not steal or commit fornication, and he kept the law to the extent that he was considered blameless in regard to the righteousness that is in the law. Nevertheless, he was used by Satan to the uttermost to destroy God’s move.
God became flesh in the man Jesus to accomplish His heart’s desire (John 1:14). Yet Paul served God zealously and did many things contrary to the name of Jesus in order to overthrow this name (Acts 26:9). Paul wanted to eliminate the name of Jesus. This shows the extent to which he was deluded by Satan. We should not think that we can never be deluded. We may feel that we love God and that we are for the church, but our zeal for the church can be used by Satan in his efforts to destroy the church. In Paul’s zealous service, he did many things contrary to the name of Jesus in order to overthrow His name, and he persecuted the church to the extent that he bound and delivered men and women to prison (8:3; 22:4). He even punished the believers in the synagogues (26:11), casting a vote against them when they were being done away with (v. 10).
In the same principle, our service to God can be used as an instrument of Satan to destroy God’s move. We are not indifferent Christians who do not love or serve God; we all love and serve God zealously. However, we must bring our love for God, our service to God, and our being for the church to the Lord to see whether or not we are fulfilling His heart’s desire or opposing it. We should never judge according to good or evil, thinking that good things are good and that only evil things are evil. When Satan is involved, there is no difference between good and evil because he mixes good and evil together, and he brings this mixture of good and evil into the service to God. We should not think that Satan cannot use us because we do not lose our temper or play mah-jongg or because we have given our life to the church and bear some responsibility. Satan is still walking about (1 Pet. 5:8); he has not yet been bound. According to the revelation of the Bible, Satan can still come into God’s presence in the third heaven to accuse God’s people (Job 1:6-12; 2:1-6). He will not be cast down from heaven to the earth until Revelation 12, and he is temporarily bound and cast into the abyss only in chapter 20. Only when he has been bound will Satan be unable to use our love for the Lord to damage God’s move. Since Satan is still working today, we should not believe that he cannot use something that is good.
If some among us esteem ourselves highly, we should not be so confident. A good number of saints may say that they love the Lord so much and have been faithful to the Lord for so long that they would never deviate or fall into Satan’s hand. Please do not say this! The more certainty we have concerning our condition, the more likely we are to fall into Satan’s hand. We should not judge our condition according to a standard of good and evil because even the best things can be used by Satan to become the most evil things. Saul of Tarsus thought that he was serving God to the uttermost, but he had no realization that his service to God was in complete opposition to God. From the time of Adam, perhaps no one has opposed God as much as Saul, even though he was not focused on evil things. Even though his service was focused on good things, he still opposed God to the uttermost. He kept the law, he was zealous, and he served God, and yet his good service was used by Satan and turned into something quite evil. If we boast in our love for the brothers, Satan can use our love against God’s interests. Even if we are truly for the Lord, Satan can use this to oppose the Lord.
We must bring our true condition before the Lord. Some of us have been elders for over two decades and bear many responsibilities in the church; others have been co-workers for over two decades and have shared in the Lord’s work. We must bring our condition before the Lord. Satan is exceedingly subtle and pervasive; he can infiltrate even our piety and prayers. A brother may regard himself as being skillful in prayer, and even if others are not praying, he will pray by himself. It is easy to see Satan’s infiltration and frustration when there is a lack of prayer, but it is harder to see his frustration when we pray. Often what we see is not nearly as fearful as what we cannot see. An undiagnosed disease is often more dangerous than a known disease. People do not think that Satan can infiltrate and frustrate our prayers; instead, they can see his involvement only in our idle words and gossip. It is easy to think that we cannot be touched by Satan when we pray alone in a room, but little do we realize that we are quite susceptible to Satan’s schemes.
The Lord Jesus said that a tree is known by its fruit (Matt. 7:17-18). A good tree produces good fruit, and a corrupt tree produces bad fruit. A fruitless tree is the same as a dead tree. The New Testament even speaks of a fruitless tree being in danger of being cut down (Luke 13:6-7), because without fruit a tree is useless and as good as dead. Many of us are fruitless trees. Some pray much but have no fruit. Others are quite pious but have no fruit. The number of people meeting in the church in Taipei today is less than a decade ago. There are always births and deaths in a country, but a country will decline in population over a period of only a decade if there are fewer births than deaths. We have preached the gospel and baptized many people in the past decade, but where are they? I do not believe that they have all died; instead, they have not become remaining fruit. If the number of people meeting in a district is not growing, and the brothers and sisters there are not quite dead nor fully alive, then our service to God is being used by Satan. Outwardly, the brothers and sisters may be breaking bread, remembering the Lord, and worshipping the Father, but actually, Satan has gained some ground. Having no fruit is a result of Satan’s schemes.
Going to movies is clearly something of Satan’s doing, but it is not so easy to see that Satan has influence over a person who breaks bread at the Lord’s table and who is responsible for passing the bread and the cup. However, if death is manifested over a long period of time, we can conclude that Satan is in our service even though our service is not outwardly evil. In the Bible death is even more defiling than evil, and our barrenness is an indication of death. Our lack of fruit is an indication of death.
The church in Taipei’s lack of increase in the past decade shows that it is dead, that it has been cheated by Satan. How else could a church have no increase after a decade? A physically and psychologically healthy couple will have at least a few lively children after being married for ten years. But look at the condition of the saints in the church in Taipei. If we say that we are dead, there may be a little life, but if we say that we are living, there is not much life. To the church in Sardis the Lord said, “You have a name that you are living, and yet you are dead” (Rev. 3:1). Everything in Sardis was near the point of death (v. 2). This is the condition of the church today; it is living in name but weak to the point of death. Such a condition proves that Satan has influence in the church. We can be serving in name only, while actually opposing God, and our service for the church may actually be holding back the church. This is Satan’s scheme.
Paul’s zealous service to God was actually in opposition to God and according to Satan’s instigation. Some local churches are waning like the setting sun. Only a person without revelation could boast of his prayer and of his love for the Lord in such a situation. Such boasting is an indication that his zeal may actually be in opposition to God. Before Paul encountered the great light on the road to Damascus, he had knowledge, religion, tradition, training, and zeal but no revelation.
According to my observation, the brothers and sisters are in a worrisome condition. Our condition is at least ninety percent the same as Paul’s, if not a hundred percent. We have everything but revelation. At a recent bread-breaking meeting, I realized that the brothers have inherited a set way of doing things and that we have picked up some additional ways over the years, including calling on the name of the Lord, pray-reading, and even pray-singing. However, I did not hear a single prayer filled with the flavor of revelation; there were only the same old expressions. Although things were one way a decade ago and may be another way today, there is still no revelation.
First Samuel 3:1-3 says, “The boy Samuel ministered to Jehovah before Eli. Now the word of Jehovah was rare in those days; visions were not widespread. And at that time Eli lay in his place, and his eyesight had begun to grow dim, so that he could not see. And the lamp of God had not yet gone out. And Samuel lay in the temple of Jehovah, where the Ark of God was.” Rare in verse 1 means “costly” in Hebrew. Some English versions render this word as “precious.” Something is precious when it is rare. Gold would not be precious if it were found everywhere; gold is valuable only because it is rare. The word of Jehovah was precious because the word of Jehovah was rare. The condition of the meeting that I attended was somewhat like the time of Eli. I heard doctrine but no word of the Lord; I heard set prayers but no words of revelation.
When Paul served in darkness, he was very confident and felt that he was quite correct. He was full of self-confidence. Only a person who is in darkness is certain of himself. Paul was full of self-confidence until a great light came upon him on his way to Damascus (Acts 9:3). When God’s light flashed around him, the one who was clear about everything became blind and could see nothing (v. 8).
In Acts 22:11 Paul said, “I could not see because of the glory of that light.” Although he formerly knew the way, took the lead, and led others, he became confused when the Lord’s light shined upon him. He had no sense of direction, and he needed the help of others. Hence, in verse 11 he said, “I was led by the hand by those who were with me and came into Damascus.” It is a great blessing to have a sense of our need to be led by others; it proves that we have light. The only thing that matters is having revelation and light. Being zealous in our love for the Lord or being an elder or a co-worker does not matter.
Paul spoke of the Lord appearing to him when he defended himself before King Agrippa (26:16). Formerly, Paul knew much doctrine, but he did not know God. The Lord appeared to him in order to shine on him. The Lord came to him in the shining of the light. At that time, he was filled with knowledge, but he had no light. The Lord’s shining showed Paul that his knowledge was being used by Satan. Paul was blinded and confused by the light, but in this blinding, he received revelation. Often we receive light and revelation when we sense that we cannot see things so clearly in our service. However, we can also be in utter darkness if we think that we know everything, that we can lead others, and that we are superior to others.
In the great light the Lord said to Paul, “I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a minister and a witness both of the things in which you have seen Me and of the things in which I will appear to you; delivering you from...the Gentiles, to whom I send you, to open their eyes, to turn them from darkness to light and from the authority of Satan to God” (vv. 16-18). Paul testified to King Agrippa that “nothing apart from the things which both the prophets and Moses have said would take place, that the Christ would suffer and that He, being the first to rise from the dead, would announce light both to the people and to the Gentiles” (vv. 22-23). Paul testified as one who had been shined upon and received revelation.
Whether we see light and receive revelation depends on the Lord’s mercy. Paul did not seek revelation or pray for light from heaven. He was headed in a different direction when the light came. I am not encouraging you to take a different direction. I only want you to know that seeing light and receiving revelation are fully dependent upon the Lord’s mercy. Revelation depends on mercy.
“The God who said, Out of darkness light shall shine, is the One who shined in our hearts” (2 Cor. 4:6). God’s shining is related to His mercy, not to our prayer. He will have mercy on whomever He wills to have mercy (Rom. 9:15, 18). Satan was able to use Paul, but God is able to say to Satan, “Even though you have been using this man for decades, I will have mercy on him; I will choose him.” Shining and revelation depend on the Lord’s mercy. He will have mercy on whomever He will have mercy, and He will shine on whomever He will shine.
This does not mean that Paul no longer had any veils, but the New Testament certainly shows that he learned some serious lessons and no longer dared to serve according to tradition, knowledge, or his own opinion. From his Epistles we can see that he lived in the spirit after being shined upon by the Lord. Paul did not want tradition, knowledge, or his opinion; rather, he was a person in the spirit. In Ephesians 3:5 Paul says that he received revelation from God in spirit. God revealed the mystery of the gospel, the mystery of Christ, and the mystery of the church to him in his spirit.
We need revelation, light, the opening of our eyes, and the turning from darkness to light. I have a deep sense that the churches in the Far East lack revelation. Yes, there are doctrines. Yes, there are practices. But there is a lack of the spirit and a lack of revelation. Consequently, darkness is falling upon the churches. We are where we are today because we have strayed from the spirit. Once we leave the spirit, we fall into set ways according to what we previously learned. It is easy to follow a learned way, but without our spirit there will be no revelation.
Laziness is a problem in the natural disposition of fallen human beings. I am certain that if Saul had been a lazy person who slept all day, God would never have shined on him. God shined on him in the midst of his diligent opposition to God. D. L. Moody was a powerful evangelist who led many to salvation, but he said, “I have never heard of a lazy man being converted.” It is difficult for lazy persons to be saved. This is not because God has no desire to save them, but because they are too lazy to receive His salvation.
Some local churches lose revelation and are without light because of laziness. Other local churches are blessed by God because they are not loose or lazy. In the United States some churches begin the bread-breaking meeting at 7:30 P.M., but many brothers and sisters arrive at a quarter to seven and begin to praise. Some even come at six o’clock to arrange and neatly line up the chairs. This shows that they take these matters seriously.
I am speaking of practical matters only to point out their relationship to our heart. If the responsible brothers, who take the lead to break bread, do not dress neatly and do not even button their shirts properly, how can we believe that there is any light in the church there? The brothers and sisters should do things in the church in a proper manner. If some practical things cannot be done properly, then they should not be done at all. A loose person should not take the lead in a church, and the meetings should not be entrusted to such a one. If a bread-breaking meeting begins at 7:30, the seats should be ready before 6:30. The serving ones should take care of the number and the arrangement of the chairs for the convenience of the saints.
In January 1950 Brother Nee went from mainland China to Hong Kong and brought in a revival there. However, since he could not stay in Hong Kong, he asked me to come to Hong Kong to see him. The morning after I arrived, he took me to the elders and co-workers’ service meeting. There he publicly stated that he wanted me to arrange the matters of service in the church in Hong Kong, including the service of the co-workers, elders, and deacons. I then began to arrange the elders’ office and the business office and to lead the elders and the deacons in their service. I began by considering the furnishings of the meeting hall and found that many things were old and worn out. It seemed as if the saints’ homes were furnished better than the meeting hall. The paintings on the meeting hall walls were worn and dusty. The organ was in such poor condition that no one would have taken it if it were left on the street. The doorbell of the meeting hall was not electric; it had only a crude lead string. When someone pulled the string, clanging sounds would go off inside the meeting hall. All the saints had electric doorbells at home, but the doorbell of the meeting hall was made of string. These furnishings were unfit for a city like Hong Kong. I spoke to the brothers and sisters and said that if the condition of the meeting hall was a reflection of our service, we might as well close the meeting hall, go home, and sleep. I am thankful to the Lord that the brothers and sisters had the grace to take this fellowship, and the appearance of the meeting hall changed the next day. This happened on February 20, 1950.
My point is not that we would focus on physical things but that we would take our participation in our service to God seriously. We should offer up not only ourselves but also our lives. If we pray for “rain from heaven,” we should also prepare vessels to hold the rain. If we do not prepare vessels, everything will leak away when the rain comes. The brothers and sisters have become loose after many years in the church life. Once looseness comes in, however, the blessing will be lost, and only problems will arise. Once there is looseness, restraint is cast off. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint.” People who are lazy cast off restraint; they become loose and incapable of doing anything. From what I hear now, some places are in an unrestrained and shameful condition. When there is no vision or light, people become loose and unrestrained, and they fall into all kinds of corrupt situations. Casting off restraint is an indication that there is no light.
Our idle words and gossip are shameful, and they cause us to lose light and revelation. If, by the Lord’s mercy, we are willing to restrain ourselves and live in the spirit, we will receive revelation every day. Revelation is not in our mind but in our spirit. Since the Lord is in our spirit, we must be in our spirit in order to receive revelation.
Some people have a very strong personality. A person who has a strong personality will not do something unless he is given responsibility for it. Such persons are naturally able and are capable of exerting influence with their strong personality. If the church is placed into their hands, the door for revelation often is closed. If the leading ones are open to the Lord, they and the saints will receive light and revelation. If, however, the leading ones are not open, the saints will not receive revelation even if they have a heart. A flock always follows the head sheep; the head sheep determines how the other sheep follow. Once the leading ones go astray, it is difficult for the flock not to go astray as well. This will stop the shining of light. Some leading ones have a natural ability to work things out; however, the church is the Body, and the Body depends upon the coordination of the members. Even if we are able to work things out, everything does not have to be decided by us. We must look to the Lord’s mercy that our strong personality would be subdued. Otherwise, we will close the door to revelation.
Other people bring their social skills and diplomacy into the church; they cultivate friendships, develop relationships, and connect with one another. This also closes the door to revelation, and it has no place in the church. There should be healthy fellowship in the church but not social connections or acceptance of others based on social approval. It is a shame for social skills to be utilized in the church. We should sustain one another, but a social “endorsement” of others is a shame.
These conditions are present in the church because of our natural humanity. Their presence, however, also indicates that we have strayed from our spirit. For this we need to accept the cross, but more accurately, we need to return to our spirit. If we “accept the cross” without returning to our spirit, our acceptance is merely an expression of human cultivation. When we return to our spirit, there is no ground for our self. In other words, our flesh, our human affections, and our old ways are terminated when we return to our spirit.
Our problem today is that we lack the spirit, and because we lack the spirit, we lack revelation. If we are not in our spirit, we will bring our knowledge and old ways into the church. A wax figure is not a human being, because there is no life in it. Life is the most important matter. A loud and fast prayer is not an indication that our spirit has been released. Instead, the release of our spirit depends upon whether we are in our spirit. People who have a strong personality and who are skillful in exercising diplomacy often do not release much of the spirit in their prayers in the meetings. In fact, those who exercise diplomacy often do not pray, and when they do pray, it often comes from the mind.
Being in the spirit is not something that can be feigned, imitated, or hidden. When the church is truly in the spirit, the Spirit is manifested in a clear way, and it is quite exposing. The Spirit exposes us when we open our mouth as well as when we shut it. The Spirit exposes us when we move as well as when we are still. In contrast, a fleshly person is still fleshly whether or not he loses his temper. As long as we are not in our spirit, our fleshly nature is manifest. A loose person manifests a loose nature, an able person manifests his ability, and a diplomatic person manifests his ability to connect with and win over people. However, once we return to our spirit, none of these things have any ground. We should never value a person’s outward performance. It may be useful in society, but it is useless in the church. We need to be genuine and to be in our spirit in the church.
Years ago I did not know or believe that people would seek for position in the church. Over the years, however, I have discovered that such a desire is always present in us. For example, if a sister is asked to serve as a deaconess, another sister will complain that she was not asked as well. In the brothers’ fellowship concerning the appointment of elders, there are often ones who say, “It will not be good if we make this brother an elder but not that brother.” Such a thought is quite low. If this is truly the case, then neither brother should be an elder. Anyone who talks about position is not qualified to be an elder.
I went to Shanghai for the first time in October 1933, and I was a guest in Brother Nee’s home for four months. Then the Lord led me to move my whole family to Shanghai to labor with Brother Nee. There were many things that I did not know related to the church in Shanghai, but Brother Nee still made me responsible for speaking in the meetings. At that time, there was a very active and aggressive brother who appeared to love the Lord very much. One afternoon this brother came and asked me if he could speak from the podium in the afternoon meeting, so I gave him an opportunity to speak. When Brother Nee learned about this, he spoke a serious word to me concerning not letting this brother give any messages. Later, I learned that this brother had had a desire to be an elder from the time that he came into the church life.
Brother Nee said that whoever wants to an elder should not be an elder. Brother Nee practiced this, and he would not let this brother be an elder. He was very strict in this matter. When I went to Shanghai in 1948, this brother was still not an elder. At the end of 1948, he started another meeting in his home and hired a freelance preacher. The freelance preacher later wrote a book attacking Brother Nee. If we have a hidden desire for position in the church, we will be in darkness and not have any light or revelation.
Because of these negative conditions, we have no light and revelation. Whether we are co-workers or elders, we must be subdued before the Lord and must humble ourselves when we gather together from our various localities. These negative conditions should not be present in the church. We must be in our spirit in the church. There is no place for us in the church apart from being in our spirit. If we are not in our spirit, we are finished in the church. No amount of human striving and struggling will produce favorable results. Being in spirit is the only way in the church. Eloquence, thoughtfulness, and knowledge are useless. Only being in the spirit is useful in the church. Once we return to our spirit, there will be an Amen in the spirit of all the saints.
If we know how to speak but have no spirit, the more we speak, the more the saints will be quiet, and the more we move, the less the saints will say Amen. As long as we neglect the spirit, the light will fade like the setting sun, like a dying lamp. The elders have paid much attention to administration, methods, and arrangements but not to the spirit or to supplying the saints in the spirit. In principle, this is the same with the brothers and sisters. The speaking from the podium is not focused on the spirit, the meetings are not focused on the spirit, and our prayers are not focused on the spirit. Instead, we are focused on diplomacy, practices, knowledge, and being clever. Our spirit is lacking in function, and there is little light.
If the Spirit does not get through, the Lord will not be present, and if the Lord is not present, we have nothing. We have no light, no life, and no revelation because we have no spirit. It is not enough for us to hate sin; we must hate not being in our spirit. Man sins, falls, casts off restraint, and maneuvers for position because he is not in the spirit. Once man returns to the spirit, he no longer strives for position, and he even tires of position and considers it a hindrance to his living in the spirit.
May the Lord have mercy on us so that we would not only repent for our sins but also for not living in our spirit. Not living in our spirit is a great offense to the Lord. If we are not in our spirit, we will not have revelation or light, the church will not have increase, and the work will produce only problems. We must hate that we care only for our self and our convenience and not for our spirit. May the Lord have mercy on us.
