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Scripture Reading: 1 Cor. 7:1-40
In 7:1-40 Paul comes to the fifth problem dealt with in this Epistle — the matter of marriage. This is treated according to the principles established in the preceding section (1 Cor. 6:12-20).
Many times those who are most cultured are the ones who have the most problems in married life. Those who are simple and uncultured may not have as many marriage problems. If you study the statistics related to divorces in this country, you will find that a large percentage of divorces is among those who are highly educated and among professional people. It seems that the more educated a person is, the greater is the possibility of divorce. Because the Corinthians were so devoted to their culture and philosophy, they had many questions about marriage. Paul answers these questions in chapter seven.
First Corinthians 7:1 begins in this way: “Now concerning the things of which you wrote.” This indicates that the Corinthians had written to Paul about various matters, including marriage. The believers at Corinth had many questions because they were philosophical. They philosophized about everything. It is dangerous, however, to philosophize about our married life, for this can lead to separation or even divorce. Brother Nee once advised us that after we get married, we should be blind regarding our spouse. If we do this, we shall enjoy married life. But if we are watchful over our husband or wife in a critical, philosophical way, we shall have serious problems. To analyze our married life is to philosophize concerning marriage. Instead of analyzing our married life, we should simply enjoy it, praising the Lord and thanking Him for the spouse He has given us. The more we praise the Lord in this way, the more we shall enjoy married life.
Probably all those who are married have spent some time analyzing their marriage. We may have said to ourselves, “Was it really of the Lord that I marry this one? Perhaps I was influenced too much by others. Maybe I should have waited a little longer.” If we are honest, we shall admit that we have asked questions such as these. These questions arise because, deep within, we are not wholly satisfied with our married life. Just as every Christian has had doubts concerning his salvation, so every married person has had doubts about married life. Of course, I do not encourage you to question your married life. I am simply pointing out the fact that questions seem to be unavoidable, especially among those who are educated and highly cultured.
The best way to approach Paul’s treatment of married life in this chapter is to consider the basic principles. I believe that this is the best way to understand the many points covered in chapter seven.
The first basic principle is found in verse 1. In this verse Paul says, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” This depends upon the gift from God (v. 7).
Speaking to married believers, Paul says in verse 5, “Do not deprive each other, except by agreement for a time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer and again be together, that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” The Greek word rendered devote literally means have leisure, be free for; hence, to give oneself to. Prayer requires that we be free from persons, matters, and things. Any prayer that requires staying away from the spouse for a time must be special and heavy.
Married life often distracts us from prayer and interferes with our prayer life. It may even keep us from praying altogether. However, there are unusual cases where a husband and wife help one another in the prayer life. But for the most part, marriage is a distraction from the prayer life.
In verse 5 Paul warns the married ones not to be tempted by Satan because of their lack of self-control. The tempter, Satan, is crouching to capture the believers. Their lack of self-control may give him the opportunity to do this.
In verse 7 Paul says, “But I wish all men to be even as myself; but each has his own gift from God, one of this kind, another of that.” Since the Apostle Paul is so absolute for the Lord and His economy, he wishes all men to be as he is (v. 8). He desires them not to marry but to remain as he that they also may be absolute for the Lord’s interests without distraction (vv. 33,35). In this wish he expresses the Lord’s aspiration concerning His called ones.
For a believer in Christ to be able not to marry is a gift from God (Matt. 19:10-12). For those who have not received such a gift, it is better to marry (1 Cor. 7:9). It all depends upon the gift we have received from God. If a person does not have the gift not to marry and yet deliberately refrains from marrying, he will face difficulties and may damage himself. Married life is troublesome. But if anyone does not have the gift, the ability, not to marry, that one should marry and accept its troubles. Otherwise, by choosing not to be married, he may have even greater difficulties.
Verse 8 says, “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, It is good for them if they remain even as I.” This was the apostle’s wish and opinion in his earlier ministry (vv. 7, 25, 40). Later, after witnessing the actual outcome, he charged young widows to marry (1 Tim. 5:11-15).
According to Paul’s word in this verse, it is good for a believer to remain unmarried. However, we are not able to fulfill this word without receiving the necessary gift from the Lord.
In verse 26 Paul says, “I consider then that this is good because of the present necessity, that it is good for a man to be as he is.” Here Paul indicates that, because of the present necessity, it is good for virgins not to marry. The Greek word for present may also mean that the presence of a certain thing foreshadows and inaugurates something to come. The present necessity or distress indicates more anguish to come, as prophesied by the Lord in Matthew 24:8, 19, and 21. The word rendered necessity means force, constraint; hence, distress, anguish. It refers to the needs of the life in the present age, the demand of which constrains and presses people and becomes a distress and anguish to them. Therefore, it is good to remain unmarried (vv. 27, 40a).
In verse 9 Paul says, “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.” According to this verse, if someone does not have self-control, it is better for that one to marry. The Greek word for self-control here also means continency. The same Greek word is used in 9:25 for athletes abstaining from sensual indulgences during preparation for the games.
In verses 13 and 14 Paul says, “And a wife who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to dwell with her, let her not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the brother; otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.” In verse 16 Paul refers to the possibility of a wife saving her husband, or of a husband saving his wife. Here we have the principle of remaining in marriage that the unbelieving party may be saved. This means that a believer who is married to an unbeliever should not take the initiative to give up that marriage. Instead of seeking to change his status, he should remain in the married life in order to save the unbelieving party.
In verse 14 Paul speaks of an unbelieving husband being sanctified by the wife and an unbelieving wife being sanctified by the husband. To be sanctified is to be made holy, separated unto God for His purpose. As the believing wife is of the Lord and for the Lord, so her unbelieving husband is made holy, sanctified, separated unto God, because he is for his wife, who is of and for God. It is similar to the temple and the altar making the common things holy when they are attached to them (Matt. 23:17, 19). The same principle applies to the unbelieving wife and the children. To be sanctified in this way does not mean the person is saved, just as the sanctification of food through the saints’ prayer has nothing to do with salvation (1 Tim. 4:5).
In verse 15 Paul goes on to say, “But if the unbelieving one separates, let him be separated; the brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases; but God has called us in peace.” To be not enslaved here means not under bondage, but freed from the marriage of a believer with an unbeliever, when the unbeliever leaves the believer.
According to this verse, “God has called us in peace.” God in His salvation has called us to Him in the sphere and element of peace. Hence, we should live in this peace. If the unbelieving party in our marriage desires to leave, we should allow it. But in order that we may live in the peace in which God has called us, God does not want us to initiate any separation as long as the other party consents to remain (v. 13). The following verses (vv. 16-24) are based upon this, that God has called us in peace. The word “for” at the beginning of verse 16 indicates that verses 16 through 24 are an explanation of the statement that God has called us in peace. To remain in this peace we must keep the word in verses 16 through 24.
In verse 16 Paul asks, “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” Since we do not know whether we shall save our unbelieving husband or wife, we should not insist that they remain with us, nor that they leave. God wants us to remain in the state in which He called us (vv. 20, 24), not to initiate any change. Therefore, we should leave the entire matter to the unbelieving party.
In verse 20 Paul declares, “Each one, in the calling in which he was called, in this let him remain.” Here we see that we should remain in the status of our calling. If we were married when called, we should remain in marriage. Likewise, if we were unmarried when called, it is better, if possible, to remain unmarried.
Verse 24 says, “Each one, brothers, in what state he was called, in this let him remain with God.” After being called, the believers do not need to change their outward status, but they do need to have a change in their inward condition, that is, from being without God to being with God, in order to be one with God and have God with them in their state, whatever it may be.
Another principle here is to care for the things of the Lord and for the Lord’s interests without having any other care. Verse 32 says, “But I desire you to be without care. The unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord.” In verse 33 Paul points out that the one who is married cares for the things of the world and how to please his wife. As a result, he is distracted. The Greek word translated distracted literally means divided. A man who would please his wife is distracted, divided, from the things of the Lord (v. 35).
Verse 35 says, “But I say this for your own profit, not that I may put a noose on you, but for that which is comely and waiting on the Lord without distraction.” The Greek word rendered “put a noose on” means to entangle with a snare, to constrain to obey one’s word. It was not Paul’s intention to put a noose on the saints, but that they may wait on the Lord without distraction. There are distractions in married life. A married person will always have distractions.
In verses 37 and 38 Paul says, “But he who stands firm in his heart, not having necessity, but has authority over his own will and has decided this in his own heart to keep his own virginity, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virginity in marriage does well, and he who does not give it in marriage will do better.” In verses 36 through 38 virgin refers both to male and female, as in verse 25. According to verse 36, there is nothing wrong, if need requires, for one to give his virginity in marriage.
Verses 36 through 38 have also been translated as follows: “But if anyone thinks that he is behaving unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she be past the bloom of youth and need so requires, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let them marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, not having necessity, but has authority over his own will and has decided this in his own heart to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.” Most translators prefer this translation. But according to the expressions in these verses and the context of the chapter, especially verses 25 through 28, the translation in the Recovery Version is more logical. John Nelson Darby in his New Translation of the Bible takes this view.
If need requires, a virgin, male or female, may give oneself to marriage. This is to do well. However, to keep one’s virginity is to do better. Paul’s word indicates that it is better to remain unmarried. However, we must remember that this depends upon the gift each one has received from the Lord.
Concerning remarriage, Paul says in verse 39, “A wife is bound for so long a time as her husband lives; but if the husband should sleep, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” After her husband dies, a wife is free to be married to another, only in the Lord. This is another basic principle concerning married life.
By setting forth all these principles, Paul answered the questions concerning marriage raised by the philosophical believers at Corinth. The answers to the various questions are found in the principles. For this reason, it is profitable for us to study these principles. This will answer many of our questions about marriage.
