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One year after being saved, Watchman Nee began to obey the Scriptures and drop the traditions in the matters of baptism and the breaking of bread; he also left his denomination. The following is an excerpt from an account given by him in Shanghai on December 4, 1932, and published in the thirty-third issue of Notes on Scriptural Messages in 1933.
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I was saved in the spring of 1920. During the first year following my conversion, I was unclear regarding the truths of the church, except that the sister who led me to the Lord had told me that unfortunately there were too many nominal Christians in the church today. I also felt that the character of the pastors I knew was too poor, for one did not ordinarily see them except when they came to ask for donations. Before my family was revived, we frequently had several mahjong games going on at home. When the pastor would come for donations, we conveniently handed him money from the mahjong table. Although he knew quite well where the money came from, he still accepted it. From this observation, I felt that the character of the pastors was very poor, for as long as they had money all was well. Besides this, it seemed that so many members in the church were merely nominal.
In March 1921 the Lord showed me the truth of baptism. I saw that baptism by sprinkling as practiced by the denominations was not scriptural. As I studied the Bible in those weeks, I found that when the Lord Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River, He came up out of the water. In the denominations, however, when a person was baptized, a small bowl was used to contain the water. How then could one come up out of the water? When I was young, I was baptized by a bishop of the Methodist Church. He sprinkled cold water on my head and pressed it down with his two big hands. I became impatient and cried, wishing he would get it over with quickly. After being sprinkled, I received a certificate of baptism, which bore my name and the bishop's signature. This certificate I considered absolutely meaningless. If I had not come to believe in the Lord, even though I had that certificate, I would still dare to do anything. Fortunately, I was later saved and my life was changed. My mother had arranged for me to be sprinkled before I believed in the Lord. About a year after I was saved, I realized that the baptism I had received was wrong and that according to the Scriptures baptism should be by immersion.
On the morning of March 28, 1921, my mother asked, "If I were to be baptized by immersion, how would you feel?" I replied, "That is just what I have been waiting for." She asked, "Where can we go to be baptized by immersion?" I answered, "I inquired about it quite some time ago. We can go to Mawei (which is two hours away from Foochow by small steamer) and find out from Miss Barber. When Dora Yu came to Fukien, she was baptized by immersion at Miss Barber's place." We felt that rather than choose a date, it was better to do it that same day. So my mother and I decided to depart that very same day. Upon arriving at Miss Barber's, we told her of our intention and she fully agreed. Thus, on the same day we went hurriedly to the countryside of Yangchi and were immersed there.
When I was baptized by immersion, I experienced a great turn in my life. The first thing I did was tell my friend Leland Wang. I came to know him during the first year after my salvation through a Bible study class held in our home. Since most of the attendants were elderly folk, and I was a young kid, I was unable to find anyone my age to talk to. Two or three weeks later, Brother Wang came. Since he was closer to my age, I began to communicate with him. So on the following day after being baptized by immersion, I went and told him, "I went to Yangchi yesterday and was immersed there." He said, "Very good, very good. Formerly, I was also baptized by sprinkling in Nanking, but later in Amoy I met a brother who told me the truth concerning baptism. Due to this further light I was baptized by immersion in Kulangsu." We were quite happy because we had both seen the same light.
The second thing I did was tell the old pastor who led our Bible study. In Foochow he was the most advanced in knowing the Bible. I especially desired to tell him because he had taught us that we should do everything according to the Scriptures. However, though I was quite excited when I told him, his attitude was quite cold. So I asked, "Is baptism by immersion scriptural or not?" He replied, "Yes, it is scriptural, but do not be so legal." I thought this was peculiar. Having taught us the Bible for a year, he continually said that as long as it is the teaching of the Scriptures, it should be followed. Since baptism by immersion is scriptural, why did he say, "Do not be so legal?" I had obeyed the truth, yet he said, "Do not be so legal." I realized then that in his teaching there was compromise. If concerning this matter he would say do not be so legal, it was unlikely he would be bold to say that any other truth concerning the church should be obeyed. From that point on, I began to have doubts regarding the truths of the church which he taught. I also realized that I must put man's authority aside, and I determined that from then on I would carefully study the Bible.
In this same year (1921) I went to the Bible regarding a number of questions. I said to myself, "There are so many nominal Christians in the present day church, yet the Bible says that only the saved ones are in the church. There are so many denominations today, yet there is no Methodist Church, Presbyterian Church, or any other denomination in the Bible. Why then am I a member of the Methodist Church? Since God's Word is not saying it, why am I doing it?" The Methodist bishop was a good friend of our family. Being a personal friend of the bishop was one thing, but the fact that denominations are unscriptural was another thing. I saw that the system of pastors was not scriptural and that meetings should be practiced according to scriptural principles. In the beginning the light I had on these matters was small. I was like the blind man in Mark 8 who, although he could see men, could only see them as trees walking. I had seen a little, but I did not see clearly.
One afternoon in the first half of 1922, I was much troubled concerning the matter of the breaking of bread. I had seen from the Bible that believers should often come together to break bread in remembrance of the Lord. For this reason I said to myself, "Why is it that in the church today the breaking of bread is held only four times a year?" Besides, among the ones who came to break bread, some were regular movie-goers, some were habitual mahjong players, some even questioned whether or not the Lord Jesus could be considered a good man, and some were evidently not even children of God. When I saw such people going to receive Holy Communion, I began to consider whether or not I could go. No! I could not go. Following my salvation, up to 1922, I had never been to receive the so-called Holy Communion. For many days I searched the Bible concerning this matter of breaking bread. Was a pastor required to preside over it? Was it true that only those who had received ordination could break it, while those who had not received ordination could not? I spent much time studying but found nothing like this in the Scriptures. This matter of a pastor presiding over the breaking of bread was not in the Bible. At this point I was very troubled. Though I wished so and though the Bible said that we should often break bread in remembrance of the Lord, I had no such place to break bread.
One Thursday afternoon following the Bible study, I sought out my friend, Leland Wang, for a little talk. I shared my feeling that according to the Bible we should break bread often in remembrance of the Lord, but that I had not done it once since being saved. I also mentioned that there were some in the denominations who were clearly not the children of God and with whom I could not break bread, and that there was the further problem that according to them no one could break bread except the pastor. I told him, "Neither you nor I are pastors; so even if we gathered all the true believers together, we would be considered unqualified to break bread. Isn't this puzzling?" Brother Wang took my hands and said, "God has been leading me exactly the same way. Last night I could not sleep, but was continually praying and searching concerning this very matter of whether or not believers should break bread, and whether or not it is necessary for a pastor to preside over it. I realized from my prayer and searching that in no place does it say that only ordained pastors can break bread." When I heard this, I thanked the Lord because He had been leading us in the same way. Since we had clearly seen the principles of meeting in the Bible, I said, "No day is better to begin than today; let us begin breaking bread on the coming Lord's Day."
Since we were settled on the time to begin, we began to discuss the place. Our house was larger, but I had not told my mother how I felt about this matter, lest she think that we young people were rebelling. Leland Wang was living in a house borrowed from a girls' school and was moving soon, so he felt it would not be too convenient. I said, "It does not matter; let us meet at your place." After we had made that decision, I was exceedingly happy on Friday and Saturday, for I was anticipating the happy day which was soon coming. When the evening of the Lord's Day came, I informed my mother that I was going to Leland Wang's home. She asked, "What for?" I replied, "To take care of something very important." That night three of us (Leland Wang, his wife, and I) met in his little house to break bread and drink the cup together. As long as I live, and even into eternity, I will remember that experience. I was never so close to the heavens as on that night! That night the heavens came near to the earth! All three of us could not help but weep! On that day we knew what it meant to break bread in remembrance of the Lord. As a young boy, after being sprinkled, I had partaken of the Holy Communion. My response at that time was, "The bread is rather sour and the grape juice is rather sweet." I understood nothing regarding the significance of breaking bread; I only realized that the bread was sour and the juice was sweet. But when the three of us broke bread that night in Leland Wang's home, I knew that this was a most precious matter to God. On that first occasion we learned what it meant to worship and remember the Lord. We could do nothing but give praise and thanks to Him.
After the first meeting we asked ourselves, What about the next meeting? Some denominations observed the breaking of bread every three months, but what about us? The Bible tells us to remember the Lord often. We felt from reading Acts 2, that at that time the breaking of bread was probably a daily matter. Acts 20:7 says, "And on the first day of the week, when we gathered together to break bread." This is very clear. On the basis of the word, therefore, we decided to observe the breaking of bread every Lord's Day. From that time on, except when I was ill, traveling on the road, or prevented by some unexpected event, I always broke bread every Lord's Day. Shortly afterward, my mother discovered what we were doing. She did not object; she only commented that we were too bold. Several months later, she also joined us in breaking bread.
Gradually the way the Lord was taking us began to have its outside effects. There was talk that several members of the Nee family were baptized by immersion. The district superintendent of the Methodist Church came to inquire of us concerning this matter. I said, "The only question is whether or not baptism by immersion is scriptural. If it is not scriptural, I am willing to stand before the congregation and confess my error; if it is scriptural, then I must obey." He only said, "Yes, it is scriptural, but you should not be so legal." If there was no need to be legal in one matter, there was no need to be legal in any matter. It surprised me to find that while the Methodists had originally been our good friends, now because of baptism by immersion, they turned quite cold toward us. From that day on I realized what it means to obey the Lord and that there is a price to do it. I also realized that people do not ordinarily consider baptism important; however, after one is baptized in a different way, they do consider it important.
During the latter half of 1922, I uncovered another problem from the Bible—the problem of denominations. Do the Scriptures say that I should be a member of the Methodist Church? In 1 Corinthians 1 Paul exhorted the Corinthian believers not to be divisive by saying, "I am of Paul, and I of Apollos, and I of Cephas, and I of Christ." I began to consider: Was Wesley greater than Paul? If Paul rebuked the Corinthian believers for saying, "I am of Christ," surely for you to say that you are of the Presbyterian Church, while I am of the Methodist Church, and he is of the Baptist Church, is not scriptural.
At this time I was studying in a mission school. The school sent me as a delegate to a spring retreat and required on the application form that I state in what denomination I held membership. I wrote, "I am a Christian and I belong directly to Christ." They said, "Nevertheless, you are still a member of a denomination." I replied, "No, I am simply a Christian. The Bible does not say that I should be a member of any denomination." At that time I was determined not to confess with my mouth that I belonged to the Methodist Church. Whenever I was asked concerning this matter, I always replied, "I am a Christian."
One day while reading the Bible I was pondering this problem: Could I simply leave the denomination? Shortly after this I heard someone say that a certain department store went bankrupt. The conversation went like this: Whenever several people go into a business partnership, regardless of whether or not they are personally involved in the business of the store, once the business goes bankrupt, none can escape the consequences; everyone must share the responsibility of the bankruptcy. I realized from this conversation that as a member of the Methodist Church I was in a sort of partnership. Although in reality I did not take part in the system of the Methodist Church, in name I could not escape the consequences. If I wished to follow the Lord, not only must I refrain from being a member of the Methodist Church in deeds, but also I must have my name removed from the Methodist Church. Having become clear concerning this matter, I felt it necessary to discuss it with my mother, since originally it was she who placed my name there. My mother did not immediately approve of my intention, for she feared that the Western missionaries who were considered our good friends would be offended. My feeling was that we should not be afraid of people being offended by us; rather, we should be afraid of the One who is greater than men being offended by us.
One day I went by boat to Mawei to see Margaret Barber. I asked how she felt about my name being in the Methodist Church's book of life (what they called the church register). She replied, "I am afraid that among the names in that book of life many are dead and not a few are perishing." I said, "Should I have my name in a book of life on earth?" She replied, "If your name is recorded in the book of life in heaven, what good will an earthly book of life do you? And if your name is not recorded in the heavenly book of life, what will this earthly book of life profit you?"
I spoke to my mother persistently for two months regarding this matter, but still she would not agree. One day while my whole family was in the garden, I took the opportunity to speak to my parents. I said, "Is it scriptural to leave our name in the denomination?" They answered, "No." Again I said, "Is it our duty to obey the Bible?" "Yes," they replied. Then I pressed on, saying, "Then why do we delay and not obey the Scriptures?" They replied, "Very well. Do it; do it." Immediately, I drafted a letter, and my father personally wrote out the letter. After each of us signed it, I dispatched it by registered mail. In essence, the letter said this: "We have seen that sects are unscriptural and that denominationalism is sinful. Therefore, from this day on please remove our names from your book of life. We are doing this not because of any personal animosity, but simply because we wish to obey the teaching of the Scriptures. Our decision is final, and it will not be necessary to bring it up again. We still consider ourselves your friends. Besides our desire to obey the Bible, there is no other reason for our action."
Four days after the letter was mailed, several Western missionaries came to our home. They said, "One only hears of a church excommunicating its members, never of a member excommunicating himself from a church. What is the reason for your action?" We answered, "We have already explained our reason, and there is no need to discuss it further." The following day they asked the principal of a certain school to come speak to us. We said, "We have nothing to say. We are still your friends, but we wish our names to be removed from the record." Later, our pastor, the district superintendent, and the bishop all came asking whether we had taken this action because of baptism by immersion. They explained that if members of the Methodist Church wished to be baptized by immersion, there was no problem. We replied, "The Lord led us to do what we have done. You feel there is no need to be legal, but we feel we must obey the Lord at all cost."
It is not a question of arguing with others about baptism by immersion or about leaving the denominations. The only question is whether or not men are willing to obey the Scriptures. To be baptized by immersion and to leave the denominations are not great things; they are but two items among thousands that require our obedience. The main thing in the Scriptures is obedience.
