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In the experience of Abraham’s fellowshipping with God, there are at least eight matters that need our attention. In his fellowship with God Abraham received God’s revelation, which issued in a glorious intercession. However, Abraham was still weak; hence, he also experienced a shameful intercession and received God’s answer, the fulfillment of his intercession. Furthermore, in his fellowship with God, Abraham eradicated the fruit of his flesh, casting out what he had done, and he offered up what he had received from God. Finally, he experienced stopping himself to receive God’s leading. These eight matters portray our experience of fellowshipping with God. In this chapter we will consider the first five matters.
The first matter in the experience of Abraham’s fellowshipping with God is his receiving God’s revelation. Abraham did not receive only one revelation. In Genesis 18 he received two revelations. At the entrance of his tent he received a revelation concerning Sarah bearing a son (vv. 1-15). Then, while walking with God, Abraham received another revelation concerning Lot being rescued (vv. 16-33). This shows that revelation comes out of fellowship.
In chapter 17 God required Abraham to be circumcised (vv. 1-14) and also promised that Sarah would give birth to Isaac (vv. 15-22). However, it was not until after God and Abraham had thorough fellowship that He revealed to Abraham how Isaac would be born. God told Abraham not only that Isaac would be born of him and Sarah but also that Isaac’s birth would require His coming. Isaac would be born at Jehovah’s coming (18:10, 14). This revelation was previously unknown to Abraham.
Sarah was not present when Abraham received the revelation in chapter 17. In chapter 18, when Jehovah came for a visit, Abraham ran out to meet Him. While visiting, Jehovah asked Abraham, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “There, in the tent.” And He said to him, “I will certainly return to you according to the time of life, and then Sarah your wife shall have a son” (vv. 9-10). Sarah was at the entrance of the tent, secretly listening to the conversation between Abraham and Jehovah. “Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” (v. 12). She seemed to be saying, “Can an old person like me still bear a son?” Because she could not believe, God said once more, “At the appointed time I will return to you, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son” (v. 14). This complete and thorough revelation came out of the thorough fellowship between God and man.
Chapter 18 presents a picture of thorough fellowship between God and man. God conversed with Abraham, then He conversed with Abraham’s wife, Sarah, after which He rose up to leave. However, being reluctant to let God go, Abraham walked with God to send Him off. This indicates that Abraham had further fellowship with God. This is the fellowship in which one is reluctant to part company with someone else. In such fellowship Abraham received a second revelation from God. This revelation was not concerning Abraham but concerning his nephew, Lot. In this fellowship God revealed that He intended to judge Sodom.
According to the record in chapter 18, God and Abraham were like two bosom friends; they were very good friends. God wanted Abraham to do something for Him, but He would not say it in plain words. God had Lot on His mind, but He did not mention Lot. Although God did not mention Lot’s name, Abraham understood. Because God did not mention Lot, when Abraham prayed, he also did not mention Lot. God said that He was going to destroy Sodom, but He did not say that Lot was there. Furthermore, Abraham did not say to God, “Lot is in the city, so You must save him.” On the contrary, Abraham seemed to say in his heart, “O God, I know You care about Lot. You love him, and I also love him.” Therefore, Abraham opened his mouth and prayed. He might have calculated in his heart that Lot’s family included his wife, daughters, sons-in-law, servants, and others, totaling about fifty people. Therefore, Abraham prayed to God, “Suppose there are fifty righteous within the city; will You indeed destroy and not spare the place?” (v. 24). Abraham thought that there were at least fifty righteous people in Lot’s household. However, there were not even ten righteous people, for ultimately only four—Lot, his wife, and his two daughters—were rescued by the angels. This conversation shows that revelation comes from fellowship. When there is fellowship, there is revelation. The more thorough the fellowship, the more thorough the revelation. Furthermore, when there is the fellowship of sending off, there is revelation in the sending off. In other words, the more we fellowship with God, the more we receive His revelation.
The second matter that requires our attention is a glorious intercession. When God gives us revelation in our fellowship with Him, He often wants us to do an interceding work. There is always something that God desires to do on earth. However, before He does anything, He must find people who are of one mind with Him to pray. For example, God may desire to save a certain sinner, but without others praying for that sinner, God cannot save him. God works according to principles. When God desires to bestow grace on the earth or to work on anyone, He must first gain some who will cooperate with Him by praying. If someone is willing to pray for a sinner, God can save him. How can we pray for God’s work? When we draw near to God and live in fellowship with Him as His friend, He will reveal His purpose to us. When we understand God’s will and utter prayers according to His will, God will work.
For example, in order to revive the church in a certain locality, God must first find a person or a group of people to intercede for that church. However, how can we know that God desires to revive that church? God reveals His desire to those who fellowship with Him and live in fellowship. Those who live in fellowship accept the burden to pray daily for the church. Such prayers afford God a way to go on in the church. In other words, God’s work on the earth may be likened to a train, and our interceding work may be likened to railway tracks. If there are some who do the work of intercession on the earth, the train of God’s work will have tracks on which to move.
After receiving God’s revelation and understanding God’s will, Abraham immediately began to pray. The characteristic of his prayer was not one of begging. Most people always pray to God in a begging way. We must remember, however, that anyone who begs God does not know God. Those who know God will never beg but will rather hold God firmly. In chapter 18 Abraham did not pray like the people who shed tears when praying before God. In Matthew 15 a Canaanite woman saw Jesus and began to cry out wildly, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter suffers terribly from demon possession” (v. 22). While she cried out and begged in such a wild way, the Lord did not answer a word (v. 23). Later, the Lord said to her, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs” (v. 26). He seemed to be saying, “You cried out, saying that I am the Son of David. Yes, I am the Son of David, the bread of God that came down from heaven. However, David was the king of Israel; therefore, I am the bread for the children of Israel. You are a Canaanite woman, a heathen dog. How can I take the children’s bread and throw it to you, a heathen dog?” The Lord was telling the Canaanite woman that it was correct for her to address Him as Lord but that she had no right to call Him the Son of David, for only the children of Israel had such a privilege.
The Lord’s conversation with the Canaanite woman reveals that prayer is not a simple matter. Suppose my child is going on an excursion tomorrow and needs money for the bus ride and picnic. If he comes to me and begs, “Mr. Lee, please give me some money,” I would reply, “Why are you calling me Mr. Lee?” He may be unhappy and cry, but the more he cries, the more I would refuse to give him money. However, if he would call me Daddy, I would have given him the money immediately, because it is right for him to call me Daddy. It is not right for him to call me Mr. Lee, nor is it right for him to call me Manager Lee. Likewise, the Lord refused the Canaanite woman because she cried out wildly. In His response the Lord seemed to say to her, “You called Me the Son of David, but what does the Son of David have to do with you?” The Canaanite woman understood Him and immediately changed her tone and said, “Yes, Lord, for even the little dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table” (v. 27). She seemed to be saying, “Yes, the bread on the table is for the children, so I cannot eat that. But were the crumbs not thrown down from the table by the children? The dogs have a share in what is under the table.” Because of the Jews’ rejection, the Lord Jesus had departed from the land of Judea and entered into the parts of Tyre and Sidon (v. 21). Therefore, the Lord answered and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done to you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed from that hour (v. 28). This shows us that a person who knows how to pray does not pray wildly.
Consider Abraham’s prayer to God in Genesis 18: Abraham asked, “Will You indeed destroy the righteous with the wicked? Suppose there are fifty righteous within the city; will You indeed destroy and not spare the place...?” And he also asked, “Shall the Judge of all the earth not do justly?” (vv. 23-25). Because Abraham prayed in this way, God was bound to His righteousness. This is the secret of knowing how to pray. Prayer does not need us to beg continually. A good prayer consists of more inquiring than begging.
In verse 26 Jehovah answered Abraham, saying, “If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare the whole place for their sake.” Abraham, noticing a turning point, immediately made a change. He reduced the number again and again, from fifty to forty-five, to forty, to thirty, to twenty, and finally to ten (vv. 24-32). This was the special feature of his prayer. He knew how to pray. He did not pray only once and say that his prayer was finished. Rather, he prayed again and again. This may be compared to a salesman trying to sell something to a customer. He first says the item costs fifty dollars. If the customer refuses, he says that forty dollars will do. Abraham kept praying until the final time that he asked. However, the Bible does not say that Abraham had finished praying. Instead, it says, “Jehovah...had finished speaking” (v. 33a). This shows that a good prayer always lets God finish His speaking.
We often do not give God the opportunity to speak when we pray. We speak continuously and then get up and leave after we finish speaking. The moment we kneel down, we say, “O Lord, I have a problem; please remember this problem. I have a need; please fulfill my need. You are faithful, so You will surely fulfill this need for me. Amen.” After praying in this way, we rise up and walk away. We do not give God the opportunity to speak. However, verse 33 says that at the end of Abraham’s fellowship with God, “Jehovah went away as soon as He had finished speaking with Abraham, and Abraham returned to his place.” Hence, a good prayer lets God speak and waits for God to finish speaking; then we can rise up and leave.
This intercession was a model intercession and also a glorious intercession. Abraham knew God and kept praying to God. At the end of the prayer it was not Abraham who finished speaking but God who finished speaking. If God had not left, Abraham would have continued to inquire of God and reduced the number again. However, God had set His mind on ten; hence, He went away and did not give Abraham another opportunity. The interaction between Abraham and God was like that of two intimate friends. If we desire to have proper intercession before God, we must not leave until God has finished speaking. According to verse 33, Abraham’s intercession involved God’s working, not Abraham’s. Whenever God is doing something, He seeks man to intercede. After God finishes what He is doing, He goes away. If we have learned the lesson, we will let God speak while we are interceding. We would intercede in the way of fellowship and in the tone of fellowship, saying, “God, is this okay?” We should let God finish speaking and wait for Him to leave. Only after He leaves should we stop our intercession. This is a good prayer.
God heard Abraham’s prayer. Chapter 19 says, “When God destroyed the cities of the plain, God remembered Abraham and sent Lot out from the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities among which Lot dwelt” (v. 29). God rescued Lot for the sake of Abraham, because God answered his prayer. Not only so, after praying, Abraham rose up early in the morning and looked down upon Sodom and Gomorrah (vv. 27-28). This indicates that although he had prayed, this matter was still in his heart, because it was also on God’s heart. This was something done for God by a friend of God in fellowship. God needs some people on the earth to work together with Him in such prayer.
Immediately after such a glorious intercession Abraham’s weakness was revealed. Hence, the third matter he experienced in fellowshipping with God was his still being weak. The record in chapters 18 and 19 concerning Abraham’s interceding work is spiritual. However, in chapter 20 he unexpectedly journeyed toward the south and again took the easy way. Furthermore, he was weak again and committed the same sin that he had committed previously. Regardless of how much we have attained in our spiritual experience, if we continue living in the flesh of the old creation, it is possible for us to become weak at any time. Abraham was not stronger than we are. From our perspective, after Abraham had such excellent fellowship with God, he should not have been weak again. However, after such a wonderful experience, he was again weak and repeated his previous mistake. We must understand that as long as we live on the earth as followers of the Lord, our weakness will not be completely removed. Abraham’s weakness was with him from the time he left his father’s house (v. 13). In the same way, regardless of how long one of God’s elect follows Him, he may become weak at any time if he continues to live in the old creation. Furthermore, his weakness will not be different from what was expressed in the past.
The fourth matter in Abraham’s experience of fellowshipping with God is a shameful intercession. Immediately after Abraham became weak, God asked him to pray in his weakness for others. Abraham’s weakness did not hinder his intercession, because he had learned some lessons. A person who is experienced may still be weak, but it is easier for him to be recovered from his weakness than it is for others to be recovered. Furthermore, even in his weakness he can still intercede.
In 20:7 God told Abimelech the king of Gerar concerning Abraham, “He is a prophet; and he will pray for you.” Hence, Abimelech called Abraham and said, “What have you done to us? And how have I sinned against you, that you have brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? You have done to me things that ought not to be done...What were you thinking, that you have done this thing?” (vv. 9-10). Abraham was a prophet, but even if he were an ordinary man, others would have asked why he had done such a thing. Hence, Abraham surely felt ashamed.
Abraham answered Abimelech, “Because I thought, Surely there is no fear of God in this place, and they will slay me because of my wife. But she is also truly my sister, the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife. And when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, I said to her, This is your kindness which you must do to me: At every place where we go, say of me, He is my brother” (vv. 11-13). This indicates that Abraham’s lie to Abimelech was planned when he began to follow the way of God.
God said to Abimelech, “[Abraham] is a prophet; and he will pray for you, and you will live” (v. 7). God wanted Abraham to pray for Abimelech’s house so that they would survive. If Abimelech had said to Abraham, “The women of my household cannot bear children. Please pray for us,” Abraham might have said, “Neither can my wife bear a child. How can I pray for so many barren women?” Not only so, Abraham had told a big lie before the people. If we were Abraham, we probably would have excused ourselves and said that we could not pray. But Abraham was still able to pray. Whether or not he could, he had to pray. This is the way that God deals with His people. Let us consider, would Abraham dare to commit such a sin again? Surely, he would not dare. Abraham might have said to God, “When I failed last time, only I was put to shame, for no one knew that I am one of Your people, much less that I am a prophet. However, it is different this time. Not long ago I stood before You and prayed, ‘Shall the Judge of all the earth not do justly?’ After praying with such great confidence, I brought my wife with me to take the easy way and got myself fully exposed. This time not only have I suffered shame, but even Your name has suffered shame.” This time God touched Abraham’s deepest secret in a strong way.
Abraham fell to the extent that the people knew that he was one who served God. Moreover, after Abimelech rebuked him, Abraham still was asked to pray for the problem in Abimelech’s house. Abraham was in an extremely awkward position. It would be unreasonable for him not to pray, but in order to pray, he would have to be thick-skinned and brave and to force himself. Abraham prayed and learned a good lesson.
Abraham’s prayer in chapter 20 received two answers from God. This is the fifth matter in his experience of fellowshipping with God. On one hand, after he prayed for Abimelech, all the women in Abimelech’s house bore children (v. 17). On the other hand, Sarah also conceived a child (21:2). Abraham had thoroughly learned the lesson of fellowship. He also accepted God’s dealings and thus received the fulfillment of God’s promise. Although Abraham had learned many lessons, Isaac had not been brought forth. It was not until Abraham was dealt with by God in chapter 20 that he was reduced to nothing. This was his condition when he prayed. At this point Abraham understood that the fulfillment of God’s will and purpose did not depend on human strength but on God’s grace. As a result of lying to Abimelech, Abraham fell and was reduced to nothing. He was like a businessman who not only lost all his capital but also pawned his clothes. Abraham had nothing more on which he could depend or of which he could boast; furthermore, nothing was useful to him. Hence, Abraham’s prayer was a prayer for grace, because he had become bankrupt and had to rely on the work of the grace-bestowing God. He could no longer rely on himself but had to simply rely on the God who works according to His will.
Some might ask whether those who fall like Abraham are worthy of praying and whether God listens to the prayer of such ones. Contrary to the human perspective, those who fall are worthy to pray before God. Whoever thinks that he is able to stand firm or that he has some merits is not worthy to pray. Those who regret in sackcloth and ashes and cannot lift up their heads, who have lost their credibility and reputation before men, are most worthy to pray. Those who think they have something, are worthy of something, or can do something do not need to pray to God. We pray to God or petition Him because we are unworthy, we have nothing, we can do nothing, and we are not good enough. We pray because we consider ourselves to be weak and have no way out. Whoever knows himself in such a way is worthy to pray, and his prayer will be heard by God. Moreover, such prayers often receive a multifold answer.
Furthermore, Abraham’s shameful intercession was not a prayer for himself but a prayer for others. Abraham’s wife was barren, but he did not pray for his wife. Our prayers are often not answered because we pray for ourselves. If we would learn to pray for others, God would hear us and take care of our needs. Based on this principle, God answered Abraham’s prayer by enabling the women in Abimelech’s house to bear children and enabling Abraham’s wife, Sarah, to bring forth Isaac. This is when God’s promise to Abraham was fulfilled. These are all matters in Abraham’s fellowship with God. This experience shows that those who have entered into the experience of fellowshipping with God have nothing to boast of in themselves. Our weakness remains. Nevertheless, instead of being distracted by our weakness, we should put aside what we have in ourselves, what we do in ourselves, and what we can do in ourselves. Our weakness merely proves that everything related to us is unacceptable and is in a state of collapse before God. The more we know our inability and weakness, the more we will sense the need to pray before God. This kind of prayer is in fellowship, and only this kind of prayer can fulfill God’s will.
Abraham had two intercessions in his fellowship with God; one was for Lot, who was in the city of Sodom (18:23-33), and the other was for the house of Abimelech (20:17). Let us compare these two intercessions. On the surface, Abraham seemed to be at a spiritual peak in his first intercession, but he seemed to have fallen into a spiritual valley in his second intercession. When Abraham prayed for Lot, he and God were fellowshipping with one another as intimate friends. God had come to Abraham’s tent to enjoy his hospitality. Abraham had intimate fellowship with God, and his condition before God reached a climax (18:1-15). Abraham was even reluctant to let God go and therefore walked with Him to send Him off. In this situation it was easy for him to do a work of intercession. Abraham may have thought that he was able to intercede in such a way to accomplish God’s will because of his wonderful condition before God. Even Bible readers might have such a concept and say, “In order to intercede, we must live before God as Abraham did; otherwise, we cannot intercede for others.” However, we need to consider whether Abraham’s intercession before God was according to his good condition or according to the grace of God. If Genesis ended with chapter 19, we might say that only those who have a wonderful condition before God can do an interceding work. The danger with this thought, however, is that it assumes that intercession is based on one’s condition and that we must live in God’s presence like Abraham in order to be qualified and able to intercede. We may think that we can do an interceding work only when our condition is proper or when we are living in the presence of God and enjoying intimate fellowship with Him. Such an erroneous understanding will lead to danger, because it causes a person to depart from grace and depend on himself.
Before Abraham had the experience in this section, God led him to learn the lesson of knowing grace. Grace means that the fulfillment of God’s will and purpose does not need what we have or depend on what we do, nor does it rely on what we can do. Rather, God fulfills His will and purpose for us. Anything that relies on what we have, what we do, or what we can do is not grace. Grace is God Himself. Grace is God coming to do everything for us. Since Abraham had learned the lesson of knowing grace, he should have known that what he had, what he did, and what he could do were worthless before God. Whatever man is in himself—whether it is what man has, what man does, or what man can do—is unable to accomplish God’s will or please God.
The record in the Bible is marvelous. Immediately after Abraham’s glorious intercession in Genesis 18, he inexplicably fell again. He even fell in the same way that he fell when he was first called by God. The first time that he became weak, he had a legitimate excuse in the environment, because there was a famine in the land of Canaan (12:9-10). But in chapter 20 Abraham did not have the problem of a famine, yet he became weak in the same way that he had before. Moreover, he fell into such a messy situation and could not have fallen any further.
Without the plain words in the Bible, we would not believe that Abraham, after fellowshipping with God as an intimate friend and passing through the spiritual high peak in chapters 18 and 19, could still have the same weakness that he had when he was first called by God. We find it hard to believe because we always focus on ourselves, and we either forget grace or do not yet know grace. We sometimes wonder how we could fall. The fact that we wonder how we could fall indicates that we should fall.
We must know that grace is God coming. Grace means that God does everything. We cannot do anything, and what we think we can do is of no value. However, we still have not learned the lesson of knowing grace. In our experience we often forget grace and look at ourselves instead. An elderly brother once said, “We are a difficult case. First is I myself; second is I myself; third is also I myself; fourth is still I myself. If we keep counting, it will always be I myself.” We are always in ourselves. We treasure what we have, what we do, and what we can do. However, if we know grace, we will hate what we have, including what we consider to be a good condition, good experience, and good fellowship. This is because although these things are good, they are not grace. Grace is God coming. Grace is not anything given by God; it is God Himself.
We often do not value what we have obtained from the world, but we value what we have obtained from our spiritual experiences. We even boast of past spiritual experiences or treasure what we have done. How many saints hate or even condemn what they have done in themselves? We are not referring to bad things but to good things, to the so-called sacred works and good things, such as preaching the gospel to save souls, administrating the church, and helping the saints. Do we hate or even condemn these good things that we do in ourselves? Do we sense that these are Ishmaels brought forth by ourselves and not by God, not by grace?
We have heard the meaning of grace, but we do not necessarily hate what we have done in ourselves or what we can do in ourselves. For example, a brother might not be willing to help the saints, because he is looking only at his condition. We should ask ourselves whether we help others according to our condition or according to God’s grace. Is our service based on what we have or on the grace of God?
If Genesis concluded with chapter 19, we could say that our service before God is based on our condition. However, God is wise. When Abraham’s condition reached the highest peak, God removed His hand a little, and Abraham fell. This shows that Abraham’s wonderful condition in chapters 18 and 19 was the result of his being supported by God’s hand; it was God’s doing. Nonetheless, God was concerned that Abraham neither knew himself nor knew grace. Hence, God temporarily stepped aside to see what Abraham would do. When God stepped aside, Abraham’s nature was completely exposed.
God is truly good at doing things. Before Abraham learned what grace is, he went down to Egypt because of his weakness (12:10). At that time God merely stretched forth His hand and struck Pharaoh with great plagues, thereby preserving Abraham and turning him around. God did not ask Abraham to pray for Pharaoh, because Abraham did not yet know grace. At that time Abraham was unable to pray. If God had asked him to pray, he may have said, “No way! I told such a dishonorable lie! How can You listen to my prayer?”
In chapter 20 God raised up a different environment. On the one hand, God prevented Abimelech from falling into sin. On the other hand, God told Abimelech to ask Abraham to pray for him (vv. 3-7). Abraham tried to hide his status before men, but God exposed it. God told Abimelech, “He is a prophet; and he will pray for you, and you will live.” God seemed to be saying, “If you do not ask Abraham to pray for you, disasters will come upon your house.” How wonderful are God’s deeds! God wanted Abraham to pray for the problem in Abimelech’s house, but Abraham’s wife, Sarah, had the same problem. If Abraham did not know grace but still lived according to his own condition, he would have been unable to pray.
Let us look carefully at Abraham’s situation in chapter 20. First, he told a big lie. Second, people knew he was a prophet, so they asked him to intercede for them. Third, the item that needed intercession was the problem that Abraham had. Sarah may have been standing by Abraham’s side. This situation was sufficient to prevent him from opening his mouth to pray. Not too long before, he had said of his wife to the people around him, “She is my sister” (v. 2). But now the lie had been exposed by God (v. 3). Hence, Abraham was rebuked by Abimelech (vv. 9-10). Afterward, Abimelech asked Abraham to pray for him so that his wife and all his female servants might bear children. At this time, standing next to Abraham was Sarah, who was barren. From the human perspective it was a great thing for Abraham to stand there without expressing shame or trying to hide. But how could he still pray for others? If I were him, I probably would not have uttered one word. I would have told Abimelech, “What if we wait for two days? I want to go home and shut the door and windows so that I can kneel before God and ask for His forgiveness, because I have behaved poorly. I have received great grace from God and have had wonderful fellowship with Him, but I have had an unexpected fall. Not only so, I have put God to shame because my status has been exposed. Therefore, I cannot pray.”
Would you be able to pray if you were Abraham? We should not think that being unable to pray is a good thing. Being unable to pray is proof that we still have the self. We cannot pray because we still have the self; that is, we still have our feelings, our face. Being able to pray proves that we have been delivered from the self and that we know what grace is. Grace is grace, regardless of our condition. Grace will not change because of our condition. When we live in the presence of God, grace is there, and when we fall, grace is still there. Grace never changes. Abraham could pray not because he was thick-skinned or because his spirit was strong. He was able to pray because he had learned the lesson of knowing grace. He knew what grace is and the meaning of not depending on himself. Abraham did not use what he had, he did not depend on what he did, nor did he rely on what he could do. In spite of falling, he learned the lesson of knowing grace. Abraham’s fall at that time was his being reduced to nothing.
A responsible brother or a serving saint might inevitably put on airs, as if to say, “I have fellowship with God; I serve God; I speak for God; I lead the brothers and sisters.” Everything is I, I, I. He should be careful, because sooner or later the Lord will expose his true condition. The Lord will let him be reduced to nothing. After a person has been dealt with by the Lord, he may say, “I am finished. I can no longer give a message. I can no longer bear responsibility. Look at my terrible fall! I cannot believe that I lost my temper in the fellowship room. I am finished. I am no good.” Serious falls often test whether or not our “I” has collapsed. If someone cannot pray after he fails, he has not yet been reduced. This is not an easy lesson to learn.
For example, a responsible brother may ask a brother to give a testimony in the meeting concerning dealing with the flesh. Shortly before coming to the meeting, however, this brother had lost his temper. Hence, he feels as if he is being put on the spot and cannot testify. If Abraham were asked to testify, I believe that he would testify, because he had been reduced. If this brother has learned the lesson, he will shed tears in the meeting and say, “Dear saints, I want to give a testimony concerning my being dealt with in the flesh. Yet just before the meeting I exercised my flesh.” Grace means that we do not use what we have, depend on what we do, or rely on what we can do but that we wait for God. If God wants us to pray, we should pray. If God wants us to testify, we should testify.
Abraham knew grace, because even though he was in a low situation, he was able to intercede for Abimelech’s household. This is proof that he knew grace. We have seen the difference between Abraham’s glorious intercession and his shameful intercession. In chapter 18 Abraham stood before God and had intimate fellowship with God. This situation was glorious. He could say to God, “Shall the Judge of all the earth not do justly?” (v. 25). How glorious this intercession was! However, when Abraham interceded for Abimelech in chapter 20, the situation was not glorious. It was a shameful intercession. We do not know why God did not record Abraham’s prayer in the Bible, but Abraham’s interceding for Abimelech shows that he knew grace. In this prayer Abraham did not use what he had, depend on what he did, or rely on what he could do. In contrast, if a brother loses his temper before the meeting and, as a result, cannot give a testimony, he is looking at himself and depending on himself. He is saying in his heart, “How can someone like me be in such a condition and give a testimony?” He may sound humble, but behind his words is a very strong self. This indicates that he does not know grace. With Abraham, knowing grace was a spiritual transfer.
I have a heavy burden that the saints would realize the meaning of knowing grace. To know grace is to be delivered from the feeling of the self, that is, to have no feeling concerning ourselves. We do not feel good about ourselves, and we also do not feel bad about ourselves. We do not depend on ourselves. We depend only on the grace of God. This is implied in Abraham’s shameful intercession. Abraham had truly been reduced to nothing, and his self was finished. He had nothing to boast of before men.
Abraham’s fall was also a great turning point before God. Everyone should have a great turning point, a great transfer, in his experience. This fall was Abraham’s transfer. In chapters 22 and 24 Abraham’s experience reached the summit. It seemed that he could not easily fall again. His fall in chapter 20 made him strong. He was able to have the experiences in the subsequent chapters because he learned the lesson in this fall. In his fall he had become nothing. Thus, Abraham learned the lesson of knowing grace.
