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Christians have many special characteristics. The most evident is that they have Christ within them. This understanding must remain deeply and firmly in all Christians. Do not regard this matter as something ordinary; rather, consider it as something very special. We are saved ones before God because Christ has come into us. We grow in life because Christ has gained more ground in us. We are also knowledgeable, spiritual, and pious before God because Christ has increasingly gained ground in us. But how many Christians know thoroughly and clearly that Christ dwells in them and thus live in Christ? The fact is that not many Christians pay attention to this matter as much as God does.
From the day we were saved, God has wanted us to completely put ourselves aside. His intention is that we would let Christ live in us. In other words, formerly the Lord Jesus and we were two persons. The day we were saved, however, the Lord Jesus entered into us. Thus, He and we are no longer two but one. This is what God intends and hopes to accomplish. From the day we were saved, Christ and we are no longer two persons. Our desires, our thoughts, and our will have all been lost in Christ. Previously, we lived and considered everything by ourselves. Christ was Christ, and we were we; He and we were two separate persons. The day we were saved, however, we received the Lord Jesus into us; indeed, He has come into us. Thus, we have become one with Him. This is God’s desire. Unfortunately, this matter has long been neglected and even today has not been given sufficient attention by Christians.
Formerly, the Lord Jesus and we were distinct and separate, but now we have become one. It used to be that Christ was Christ and we were we, but now Christ has come into us and has been joined with us. One thing happened immediately after He and we were joined together—we became Christians. Once we are saved and become Christians, we possess the life of Christ. However, even among the saved ones, there are two categories. One category consists of Christians who know that their sins have been forgiven, that Christ dwells in them, and that one day they will be with God forever. Moreover, they know that God answers their prayers and that the Spirit of God is moving in them. These Christians know that Christ is in them. The other category consists of Christians who are truly saved yet do not know that Christ dwells in them. If you ask them whether their sins have been forgiven, they will say that they have been forgiven and that they have the inner peace and joy that come with the forgiveness of sins. Furthermore, they will tell you that they have been accepted and justified by God. They also know that one day when they die, they will be with God forever. However, one thing they do not know is that Christ lives in them.
Consider our own situation. We may have already been saved for a period of time, yet we think it strange when asked if Christ is living in us. We all know that our sins have been forgiven and that when we die we will be with God, but we may have never heard about Christ living in us. Perhaps some have told us about it, but their words quickly faded away. Regardless of how long we have been saved, while many of us have the assurance of our salvation, we do not necessarily know that Christ lives in us. This is a serious matter because the center of God’s salvation is that Christ lives in man. Every saved one must clearly understand this matter.
Thus, Christians are those who have Christ in them. For example, we cannot call a cup a cup with tea unless it contains tea. A cup with tea must have tea in it. Before we were saved, we were merely human beings, but on the day we believed in the Lord and were saved, Christ came into us. Thus, we are no longer merely men; we are “Christ-men.” A person who is saved has Christ living in him. We must consider this an important matter.
God has a hope and a purpose in the saved ones. God’s hope is that the more Christ lives in us, then the more He will gain ground in us, the more God’s life will be expressed through us, and the more we will be lost in and assimilated by Him. God’s intention is that Christ will gain us, saturate us, and completely assimilate us so that we may be filled with Christ within and express Christ without. This is God’s expectation. However, from the time we were saved, we have been preoccupied with improving ourselves, hoping that we will be better than before. For example, after having been saved, someone who previously sinned resolves not to sin again. Another one who likes to gossip decides to be more careful in his speaking. Still another one who has a bad temper is determined not to lose his temper again. These hopes are good but quite contrary to God’s hope. This does not mean that we want to be good and that God wants us to be bad. Instead, this means that God is hoping for a goal that is higher and better than the goal we hope for.
God’s hope is that the more Christ lives in us, the more He will be able to gain ground in us and be expressed through us. However, our hope is that the more Christ lives in us, the more we will be improved in ourselves. We have to see that there is a significant discrepancy between these two hopes. Every saved one hopes that God will grant him more strength to help him reform himself so that he can do good deeds. This is good from the human perspective, but those who know God realize that this is contrary to God’s hope in us. When we live foolishly, not knowing what is good or bad, we do not have any expectation. But when we have been revived in the Lord, somehow we begin to have a desire to get rid of all our shortcomings. This is where the problem lies: God hopes that the more Christ lives in us, the more He will be able to gain ground, but our hope is that the more He lives in us, the more we will be able to improve ourselves. God hopes that Christ can have more ground in us, while we hope that we can improve ourselves; these two hopes are totally different.
We have been saved, and Christ has entered into us; we have been lost in Him, and He has become one with us. Please consider: When we were saved, was it because we were merely subdued in our thoughts and preferences or because we were saved by the Lord Jesus? Since it is the Lord Jesus who has saved us, our thoughts and preferences must be dissolved in His thoughts and preferences, and our will and inclination must be dissolved in His will and inclination. What is God’s salvation? God’s salvation is that God wants our entire being, including our mind, emotion, and will, to be completely dissolved and lost in the Lord Jesus, just like sugar that has been dissolved in water is completely lost in the water. Now the two, the Lord and we, have become one and cannot be separated. This is to be a genuine Christian.
Do not think that God’s salvation is simply to admonish people to do good. Rather, God’s salvation is for us to be lost in Christ. From the day we were saved, God’s salvation is simply the Lord Jesus Himself coming into us and being mingled with us. The Lord Jesus is in us as our salvation. He is saving us step by step until He saves us to the full extent. Our regeneration is the initial step of our being saved. We will be saved to the full extent when we are completely dissolved in Him. When our thoughts, insight, preferences, and disposition are completely dissolved in Christ, His insight becomes our insight, and His preferences become our preferences; then on that day we will enjoy God’s salvation in full.
Before the day comes when we fully enjoy God’s complete salvation, our Christian life is a life of contradictions. We have said that Christians possess four things—Christ, the Bible, the church, and fellow Christians—and that Christians are also peculiar. But this is not all; Christians are also full of contradictions. When a person first becomes a Christian, he begins to experience a life of countless contradictions from morning to evening. Prior to his salvation, his inner being is consistent, without any ups and downs and without any conflicts. For example, he goes east if he wants to go east, and he goes west if he wants to go west; he does whatever he wants. However, strangely enough, from the day he is saved and becomes a Christian, he begins to experience inner contradictions. It seems that whenever he has a certain feeling, he will have another feeling, and the two feelings usually are contrary to one another.
If as a Christian a person does not experience contradictions, his being a Christian is questionable. For example, when you and another brother are discussing a certain matter, after saying just a few sentences, you have a sense that it is better not to say anything more. Thus, a contradiction arises from within you. In the early stage of salvation, a normal Christian is filled with contradictions; if this is not the case, perhaps he has not yet been saved. We all have this kind of experience. Whenever we love a certain person, a certain thing, or a certain matter beyond a certain degree, there arises from within us a feeling that limits and restricts us, causing us to resist that kind of love. This inner sense of disapproval gives rise to a contradiction in us.
There are times when a brother admonishes or prohibits us from doing a certain thing, yet we may find one, two, or even ten reasons why we should proceed. Although the brother has advised against it, we still think that we should do it. While we are rationalizing, however, the inner sense begins to oppose us. When we present our first reason, the inner sense refutes it. Then we present our second, third, fourth, and even tenth reason, but the inner sense refutes each one of them. We say with our mouth that we still want to do it, but something within us disagrees. There is a contradiction within us.
Sometimes we submit inwardly but disobey outwardly, and sometimes we submit outwardly but disobey inwardly. Sometimes we may even say, “I sense within that I should not say anything, but I also feel that I have to say something in order not to let my opponent off lightly.” This is the contradiction in a Christian. Here is a Christian who argues and contends outwardly yet is met with disapproval inwardly. Every Christian experiences this type of contradiction between the inward sense and the outward action. Thus, when a Christian couple quarrels, there is no need for anyone to arbitrate. When the argument is getting out of control, something within them will bother them and not allow them to go on quarreling. This kind of contradiction proves that they are genuine Christians.
Using myself as an example, I can say that my experience of contradictions during the early years of my salvation was unbearable. At the moment I finished dressing and was prepared to go out, there came an inner sense that I should not go, and then when I returned to my study room to read, there came another sense that I should not read. I just did not know what to do. This contradiction comes from two parties: we ourselves and Christ in us. Perhaps according to our preference we want to visit a friend, but Christ says, “It is your preference to visit your friend; I do not agree.” Since He disagrees, we decide to stay home and read a book, but He says, “This is still your preference.” Gradually, we learn that whenever we have a sense within, the best thing is to kneel down and pray until we are one with the inward sense. Then we are no longer in the state of contradiction. Rather, the more we pray, the more we sense the presence of God; the more we pray, the sweeter His presence is. In this way a part of us becomes lost and is dissolved in Christ.
No one who is a Christian is exempt from having contradictions. Every Christian goes through a state of contradiction during the initial phase of his salvation, and the degree of contradiction may become very intense until he reaches a certain level of maturity when the Lord and he have become one. At that stage the degree of contradiction diminishes because he has matured to a point where he is totally lost in Christ. One who has not reached this state is still spiritually immature.
After we are saved, we usually experience certain contradictions because Christ in us wants us to gain Him, and He also wants to gain us. His intention is to have us mingled with Him. However, because we do not know His intention and are not accustomed to it, the more we pursue Him, the more contradictions we experience. It is as though there is a person within us who is constantly against us. It is as though He disapproves of everything we do in our daily life. It seems in particular that if we do not have a good prayer time in the morning to seek after Him, we do not sense many contradictions throughout the day. But when our prayer times are very good and our fellowship with the Lord increases, the contradictions during the day increase. If we do not pray or have fellowship with the Lord for a month, our living will be carefree and sloppy. However, if we have good prayer times and have good fellowship with the Lord, our contradictions will definitely increase. I believe that we all have this kind of experience. Today if we have a sweet time with the Lord in intimate fellowship and thorough prayer, then amazingly we sense that everything we try to do is not right. Sometimes the bothering gets to a point where we even doubt and ask, “Is it better to pray or not to pray? Why is it that if I do not pray, I am calm and clear, but if I pray, I become confused?” These confusions are all manifestations of the contradictions in us. We are confused because there is an internal conflict. Therefore, the more confusion and contradictions we experience, the better it is. What we should be afraid of is that we have neither confusion nor contradictions. All confused ones are ones with contradictions, and the ones with contradictions are those who have Christ in them as their Lord.
We are not afraid if someone is confused; rather, we are afraid if someone is not simple. One day there was a brother who was faced with a great difficulty, so he went to see two elderly brothers. After receiving instructions from them on how to resolve the difficulty, he returned home to act according to their advice. However, as he proceeded, there was a forbidding within. Therefore, he became confused. He said, “The words of the two elderly brothers are very clear, but why is it that within me there is a forbidding, a contradiction? What is wrong?” When the event unfolded after a few days, the confused brother realized that what he had sensed as a forbidding was actually the prohibition from the Spirit of the Lord. If he had done according to what the two elderly brothers had advised, the outcome would have been totally different. The two brothers considered the matter according to common experience, and although their consideration was right, the Holy Spirit intervened. We have to understand that this is also a case of contradiction. When a person has contradictions within, this is proof that he is a true Christian. This is why we say that the more contradictions we experience, the better Christians we become. If we do not have contradictions, then there must be problems with us.
If our condition is proper before the Lord, we will have a great deal of contradictions. However, if we have a problem before the Lord and our fellowship with Him has been interrupted, the contradictions will disappear. The sisters experience a great number of contradictions in the matter of attire. Normally, a Christian should have some feelings of contradiction concerning what they wear. If a person claims to be saved and yet has never experienced any contradiction in the matter of clothing himself, then either he is not saved or his salvation is still questionable. A normal Christian most definitely has a great deal of feelings of contradiction. This is because a person who has received the Lord has been lost in Him and has become one with Him. Nevertheless, because we are not easily subdued by the Lord so as to surrender before Him, we always have disputes with Him. We have one idea, and the Lord has another idea; we have a desire, and the Lord has another desire. Consequently, the two ideas and the two desires bring in contradictions. This is why we say that a Christian who is contradictory within is a true Christian.
Christians are peculiar and contradictory. Any Christian who has not lived a life of contradictions is not a genuine Christian. A life of contradictions is a life in which we speak a sentence outwardly and there is a disapproval inwardly, or we put on a certain item of clothing outwardly and there is an objection inwardly. This disapproval or objection within comes from Christ Himself. Perhaps we have stayed away from sin, yet we have not committed ourselves to Him to be mingled with Him and be lost in Him. Thus, many things in our Christian life cannot gain His approval. Therefore, as Christians, we go through a series of contradictions from morning to evening. Someone once said, “The more I pray to God, the more confused I get. The more I have fellowship with the Lord, the more I sense that everything is wrong. When I put on shoes, they are not the right shoes. When I put on clothes, they are not the right clothes. It seems that nothing is right.” This is wonderful! We have to remember that the more a saved person pursues the Lord, the more he goes through these kinds of contradictions.
Being contradictory is the first stage of the Christian life. In this stage our thoughts are not the thoughts of the Lord, our will is not His will, our decisions are not His decisions, and our preferences are not His preferences. Therefore, many struggles occur. However, after going through many struggles, one day we will realize that we have decreased, and the Lord has increased, that we have lost more ground, and the Lord has gained more ground in us, and that we have become less and less, and the Lord has become more and more manifest through us. Then we will be completely lost in Him; He and we will be absolutely one. Our will is surrendered to Him; we become Him and He becomes us. Our inclination is His inclination; our preferences are His preferences. In other words, at that time our move is His move. We have become Him. This means that we have attained to the level of spiritual maturity.
Before reaching that stage, however, we have to remember that a Christian is definitely filled with contradictions. It is good to have the contradictions diminished in the course of our pursuit of the Lord, but it is not good to have the contradictions diminished because we have given up on our pursuit of the Lord. If the contradictions decrease because of our obedience, this kind of decrease is good, proper, and necessary. Therefore, we should not be afraid of our inner contradictions. We should not question why we are having so many contradictions when we have already been saved. Do not fear contradictions. The initial stage in the life of a normal Christian is filled with contradictions. The more contradictions we have, the better it is. What we should be afraid of is the lack of the sense of contradiction among us.
