Search
After a person is saved, if he wants to make progress in life, he must carefully purge out all leaven. This means that he must deal with every situation that is improper in the eyes of the Lord and every matter that is condemned by the Lord. However, he should not only deal with the outward things, but he should confess to the Lord, from deep within, all his inward sins.
Man always has more inward problems than outward problems. He may have many outward problems that are condemnable, but his inward problems and his inward evil far exceed his outward problems. His outward problems are related merely to behavior, but his inward problems are related to his mind, opinion, and even more, to his self. It is possible for a person to be wrong inwardly but not to be wrong outwardly. This means that a person may be full of sins within, and yet outwardly he does not behave in a sinful way. Inside of man there are sin, iniquity, and darkness, but outwardly these things may not seem to be expressed at all. Therefore, if a person wants to grow in life after he has been saved, he should deal with outward sins and improper matters, but he should continually come to the Lord to deal with his real inner condition. When God deals with us and cleanses us, His focus is on our inward being.
A person may outwardly appear to be right but inwardly be altogether wrong and unrighteous. In the Gospels the Lord rebuked the Pharisees, saying, “You resemble whitewashed graves, which outwardly appear beautiful but inwardly are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness” (Matt. 23:27). This means that some people are like whitewashed graves: They appear to be beautiful on the outside, but they do not want others to know their real inward condition, and they would not allow others to see the filthiness of their inner being. Much of man’s outward behavior is condemnable, but his inward evil is many times more deserving of condemnation. Man’s inner need is far greater than his outward need. Many times after a person is saved, outwardly speaking, he is very good and is almost blameless, but two or three years later he still does not have much progress in life. This is because his problem is not something outward but inward. His outward behavior is correct, yet his inner being is wrong. Most of our outward behavior is done before men, yet our inner being is before God. Man should confess not only his outward sins before God, but even more, he should confess his inward sins. When God shines on us, He shines not only on our outward behavior but also on our inner being.
Some have been saved for a long time, yet they have never had a time of confession before God. We all confess that the Lord Jesus is our Savior, but until today we still may not have confessed all our inward sins before God. Some may say that they do not sense that they are sinful. Of course, this word is not false; a person can be full of sins but still not have any sense that he is sinful. According to the fact, he is full of sins; but according to his feeling, he does not sense that he is sinful. Before God he is full of sins, but in his own feeling he does not have any sense that he is sinful.
One day in Shanghai, when I entered into the church business office, everyone laughed at me when they saw me. I asked them what the matter was. Then a brother brought me to a mirror, and I saw that I had made myself dirty without knowing when I did it and without having any feeling about it. In reality, I had made myself dirty, yet in my feeling, I was still clean. Many people are like this before God. They are, in fact, full of uncleanness, yet they still feel that they are good. Their subjective feeling is far from the fact. There are many examples of this in the Bible. Before a person meets God, he thinks that he is good, but once he touches God, immediately he realizes that he is wrong. Why is this? This is because God is light, and God is like a mirror. Everyone who sees light finds himself sinful before God. The reason a person can see anything, including his own face, is also related to light. For example, if a house is dark and there is no light, even though it may be full of rubbish, no one will sense that it is dirty. However, once a beam of light shines into the house, we will be able to see clearly. If the light is strong enough, we will be able to see even the dust clearly. Bacteria can be seen clearly under a microscope; they cannot escape being seen. Many doctors say that under strong enough light and a powerful microscope, everything a person sees will look dirty.
Every person is sinful before God, but not everyone can see that he is sinful. In the Old Testament once a person came to God, he immediately sensed that he was sinful. When Isaiah the prophet was enlightened, he immediately found that he was unclean. When seraphim from heaven were saying, “Holy, holy, holy,” Isaiah said, “Woe is me, for I am finished! / For I am a man of unclean lips, / And in the midst of a people of unclean lips I dwell” (Isa. 6:3, 5). There are at least four things in us that are unclean: our upper lip, our lower lip, our tongue, and our throat. Some people may say, “This is not true; my lips, my tongue, and my throat are all very clean.” However, one day when we are truly enlightened by God, we will see that there is no other part of our body that sins more than our lips.
No matter who a person is, once God comes to him, he will confess his sins. Even two hours will not be enough time for him to confess all his sins. Even though we do not know how many sins our tongue and our lips have committed, we do know that we have said things that we should not have said and that our speaking is often mixed with a bit of evilness and wickedness. As long as a person’s lips are unclean, he is an unclean person. Even today, whose lips have not sinned from morning to this moment? Some may say that they are right and that they do not have sins. Yet when someone really touches God, he will immediately see that he does not have only a few individual sins but piles upon piles of sins. After he has confessed some of his sins, he will still have more to confess. In fact, there will always be more to confess.
One of my gospel friends told me that before he was saved, he thought that he was a perfect gentleman. I also admit that his temperament was one of a righteous gentleman. However, one day he became sick and began to suffer from several diseases: high blood pressure, heart disease, lung disease, and so forth. After he had stayed in the hospital for a long time, he still had not recovered. One day he became really desperate and started to consider, while lying on his bed, what kind of person he was. The more he thought about himself, the more he found himself good; the more he assessed himself further, the more he still found himself good. At that moment, however, he saw a Bible beside him. At that time he had not yet believed in Jesus, and he did not know the meaning of salvation. He opened the Bible, read a little, and suddenly, he discovered that something was wrong in his being—something that he had never found before. He realized that there was a thought in him that was not right, so he confessed this sin before God. Right after he confessed this sin, a second feeling came, causing him to confess a second sin. Then a third feeling also came, and he confessed a third, then a fourth, and then a fifth sin. He was confessing his sins in this way, until eventually he lost track of how many sins he had confessed. After a while he felt that because he had so many sins, he should not continue to confess while lying on the bed, so he rose up and prostrated himself in front of his bed. After he had confessed more sins, he took his hands off the bed and entirely prostrated himself on the floor, weeping and confessing at the same time. For at least three hours, he felt that the more he confessed his sins, the more sins he had to confess. In the past he had not sensed that he was wrong, but on that day his sense was completely different. In the beginning he only felt that he was a little bit wrong. But once he made one confession, another sin came; once he made another confession, the third one came. This continued until he forgot about time—confessing on the one hand and weeping on the other. Although he was quite a strong man and was accomplished in his career, he was saved! His salvation was not a casual one, but one in which he confessed all his sins.
Luke 5 records Peter’s story. Originally, Peter did not realize that he was sinful, but when the Lord shined on him, he immediately said, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, Lord” (v. 8). In the Old Testament Job was one who also did not realize his sins until God shined on him. His three friends told him that he must have sinned before God, but Job did not agree and wanted to argue with God to see where his sins were (Job 5—6). This shows that Job was in darkness; he had never touched God or seen the light. However, at the end of the book of Job, he met God and said to Him, “I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, / But now my eye has seen You; / Therefore I abhor myself, and I repent / In dust and ashes” (42:5-6). Why did he repent? He repented because he saw his uncleanness. All of us are filthy and unclean before God. A person who has touched God sees his filthiness, and one who is enlightened by God senses his uncleanness. But one who has never touched God or seen the light, even though he is filthy and unclean, does not have any feeling of filthiness. Every time a person touches God, he will see that he is full of sins and that he is a constitution of sin.
Over fifteen hundred years ago there was a man named Augustine. When he was young, he lived a life of debauchery. His mother loved the Lord devoutly and always prayed for her son. One day Augustine suddenly had a feeling and asked himself why he was living in debauchery and not turning to God. At that moment he repented. To his surprise, that day he discovered that the more he confessed his sins, the more sins he had. It seemed that before he began to confess, there was not much sin, but the more he confessed, the more severe and abundant the sins became. Later, he wrote a book called Confessions, in which he describes his experience of confession. He confessed his sins to the extent that he said something like, “Even the regret in my confession needs to be forgiven by God; even the tears that I shed for the sorrow of my sins need to be washed with the precious blood.” Can you imagine the extent to which this person confessed? Even though he had already confessed everything, he still felt that even the regret in his confession needed to be forgiven by the Lord.
A person who is before God and who touches God should see that he is sinful. The more he confesses his sins, the more he senses his filthiness; the more he senses his filthiness, the more he comes to God; and the more he comes to God, the more he finds himself sinful. Every saved one, from the moment God leads him to walk this way, has to pass through this experience. From the time we were saved until today, have we ever had a thorough confession before God? This is a very serious question. Many people do not have any problem with their salvation, but it is questionable whether or not they have ever had a thorough confession.
The first time I thoroughly confessed my sins after my salvation was not just for an hour or two, but for a very long period of time. I was enlightened by God to such an extent that even sitting made me feel guilty. It seemed that if I said yes, I sinned, and if I said no, I also sinned. We all were born unclean. Every one of our thoughts and intentions is unclean. When a baby is born and first starts to make noises, his mouth is very pure. But gradually as he learns to speak, his mouth is no longer pure. After he begins to go to elementary school, when you ask him something, he will roll his eyes. Then when he speaks, you know that his speaking is with a motive. Any word that is uttered with a motive is unclean.
From 1931 to the present I have confessed my sins almost every day. One time I was really bothered by a certain matter, and I went to confess before God. At the end of my time of confession two sentences came to me that I had never heard before. In response, I prayed, “O God, before You I am not merely dirty, I am basically a pile of filth. It is not only that I was a clean person who was defiled and became unclean; not only so, Lord, I am a being constituted with uncleanness. O God, I am not just false, but my whole being is constituted with falsehood.” I was enlightened by God to the extent that I realized that I am a constitution of uncleanness, and I am a constitution of falsehood. It was these two sentences that enlightened me. We are not only sinful, but we are a constitution of sin. When God enlightens us, we immediately see our filthiness and evilness. If we have never allowed God to enlighten us, we have not walked, or progressed, even one step before God. When God wants us to walk a step further, He must first enlighten us and cleanse us. Anyone who has never been enlightened thoroughly, no matter how long he has been saved, how much doctrine he understands, or how deeply he knows the Bible, although he is saved, he has never walked one step on the path of God. God’s first step in enlightening us is always to cleanse us thoroughly.
People may be in a variety of conditions when they are enlightened by God. Some people do not have a heart for the Lord after they are saved. As a result, when they are happy, they come to the meetings; and when they are happy, they pray; but when they are depressed, they neither meet nor pray. Often, however, when people of this kind are walking on the street or studying, they suddenly have a feeling within them that they should go to God to pray. Once they pray, they immediately sense that they are sinful, and the more they confess, the more they find themselves full of sins. In this way they are revived by the Lord, and many people may wonder what has happened to them. Once they are enlightened within and stirred up by the Lord, they walk their first step right away—they repent, confess their sins, cleanse themselves, and start to read the Bible. The more they read the Bible, the more they are filled with light. As a result, they love to preach the gospel. In the beginning they did not have a heart for God, but they were chosen and enlightened by God.
There is another kind of person, whose inner condition is exposed when he is listening to a message. At that time he makes a thorough confession and is full of freshness. Someone else may be drawn by hearing the testimonies of other people. As a result, he goes to God to ask for His shining. Eventually, he also is enlightened by God and makes a thorough confession. Another kind of person, after fellowshipping with the saints, feels that he should go to God and be enlightened by Him. As a result, he also receives the shining and thus thoroughly confesses his sins. There is still another kind of person, who receives the feeling that he is sinful when he is in a prayer meeting where either a small or large number of people are praying. When he receives this feeling, he thoroughly confesses and also receives the shining. Another kind of person may hear the exhortation of other people and realize that for a Christian to progress in life he must thoroughly confess his sins. As a result, he prays, “O God, I pray that You would shine on me and forgive all my sins.” He prays in this way for one or two days, and on the third day, God truly shines on him. Finally, there is a certain kind of person who prays and God gradually shows him that he is sinful.
A resolution is an expression of our seeking before God. Thus, we should all come back to God and tell Him, “O God, I need Your shining. So I ask You to shine on me and show me my sins. I know that there is a principle here: If I am not enlightened and my sins are not exposed, there is no way for me to grow in life.” This kind of prayer is one that God is very willing to answer and one that He will answer quickly.
Another kind of person may become enlightened when he asks God for something. God does not give it to him but instead shows him that he is wrong. This kind of situation is common with children. A child may go to his father for a piece of candy and stretch out his small hands and say in a spoiled way, “Daddy, give me a piece of candy.” Then the father would say, “Look at your hands, they are so dirty. Go wash them.” Then the child may wash his hands and again ask for a piece of candy. The father then may take out a mirror and ask him to look at his dirty face, and the child would go to wash his face. After he washes his face, he may ask for a piece of candy again. Then the father will show him his dirty neck and dirty clothes. So eventually, after he washes his neck and changes his clothes, his whole being is clean. It is the same with many people when they go to pray before God; they ask God for this and that. God not only does not answer them, but He also shows them how unclean they are. Not until then do they know what it is to follow God, to forsake the world, and to reject sin. And it is only at that time that they will have a start in their spiritual life.
If a person does not have this experience of being enlightened, then he will at most understand some mere doctrines and will have never started on his spiritual path. He will not have any hatred toward sin; neither will he have any feeling toward filthiness. He will stay this way until the day when God shines on him and shows him his sinful condition, and he begins to confess his sins. This kind of feeling toward his sinful condition always lasts for a few years rather than for a few days. In addition, this feeling toward his corruptness, evil, and wrongdoing will keep him coming to God for His shining and cleansing.
After the period that included the years 1931 to 1935, whenever I went to God to ask for something, this prayer always lasted for only two minutes. For example, when I would pray, “O God, please solve this problem for me,” it would take only half a minute to pray such a prayer. Prior to this half a minute, however, it would take me twenty to thirty minutes to confess my sins. When I saw how sinful I was, before I could ask the Lord to solve my problem, I had to confess my sins. After twenty or thirty minutes of confession, I had thoroughly confessed all the sins within me. As a result, I had peace in my conscience, and there was no barrier between my spirit and God. By that time I could be almost face to face with God, telling God boldly and easily, “O God, I am cleansed by the precious blood of Your Son. O God, I have a problem, I ask You to solve this problem for me.” Then God would immediately answer this kind of prayer.
When we pray, we are often unclear and do not know God’s will. The key to knowing God’s will, however, is to make a thorough confession of our sins. After doing this, we will be clear. Anyone who is insensitive to God is also insensitive to sin. We should try praying a simple prayer: When we are walking on the street or at home, we should tell God, “O God, may You shine on me and expose all my sins.” Then one day the light will reach you, and you will sense that you are wrong. No one will tell you that you are wrong outwardly, but inwardly you will sense that you are wrong. Then you will go to God to confess your mistakes. If you realize that you have offended your parents, you will go to God and say, “O God, in the past I offended my parents in a certain matter, please forgive me.” We have to confess our mistakes specifically.
If a wife has committed many mistakes and offended her husband, she has to confess them specifically before God, telling Him the specific matters in which she has wronged her husband or her children. It is the same with a husband. He has to thoroughly confess the specific matters in which he has wronged his wife or his company. In addition, all of our inner intentions and inner thoughts have to be confessed one by one. There is a Western sister who always exhorts people to confess their sins. One day she heard someone pray, “O God, I have so many sins, please forgive me.” Then this sister said, “Do not throw such a big bundle to the Lord Jesus. You have to open it up and count the contents item by item.” This bundle includes everything; you cannot just say one sentence, “O Lord, I am a great sinner.” You need to count the contents item by item, saying, “O Lord, I have wronged my brother in a certain matter. O Lord, I have wronged my husband on a certain occasion, and I have wronged my children at a certain time.” In this way we will see that our sins are exceedingly many, and we will be under the light. Today people are living in darkness and do not have any sense of sin; even though they confess their sins every day, they still do not have any sense of sin.
Here is the problem of many people: Owing to a lack of light, they do not have any feeling. Many people arrive at work at nine or nine-thirty in the morning, even though their company clearly stipulates that they should arrive at eight o’clock, yet when they fill out their attendance cards, they indicate that they were on time. Once a saint asked me, “What should I do in this situation?” I told him, “If your company requires you to be at work at eight o’clock, you should arrive at eight; if you arrive at nine o’clock, you should write that down.” This is to be a true Christian. Today the pitiful situation is that many Christians do not have such a sense. The reason why they do not have any sense is that they are short of light. Do we not know that the path of life begins with confession? Even if we have decided to do a certain thing and then God shines on us, we should not do it; rather, we should confess our sins. After confessing, we will know what sin is.
There is an employee of an elementary school who often used the letterhead and envelopes of the school. This is not right. However, if the school has a regulation that says that all school letterhead and envelopes are also for personal use, then he may use them, but if there is no such regulation, it is unrighteous for him to use them. Some elementary school teachers take chalk home for their children to play with, without any sense of sin. We cannot say that this kind of person is unsaved, but we can say that he does not have the sense of sin. A person who has confessed his sins before God will not be careless in any matter. Before one confesses, he may go to other people’s homes and read their newspaper or open their letters. But after his confession, he will have a sense of unrighteousness when he does the same thing. This is not merely a matter of regulation but a matter of righteousness. When we have this kind of sense, we will know what is the path of Christ. If we want to grow in life, we have to confess our sins. The path of life begins with confession. Many people have heard many doctrines, but they have never taken a step on the path of life; hence, they do not have the discipline of the Holy Spirit or the restriction of the Holy Spirit. Although they do not commit great errors, they have committed many tiny mistakes. We have to look to God for His mercy, seek His shining, and confess to Him so that our sins might be forgiven.
