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One who serves God must learn to discern three things: desire, intention, and ability. We all know that a desire is something that man longs for. An intention, to many people, refers to what man hopes for. And of course, we all know that ability refers to the strength we need to accomplish a certain matter. A person who serves the Lord must be dealt with in these three matters, or there will be a lack in his service.
The desire to serve God is indispensable for every serving one. What God treasures the most is man’s desire to serve Him and man’s desire for Him. God created the universe and all things, but His heart is not on the sun or the stars. Neither is His heart on the angels or on all the other things, because none of these things are for God. The Bible tells us that man is the center of the universe (cf. Zech. 12:1) and that without man the purpose of God cannot be accomplished. Hence, even though God has created all things, His real concern and focus is man alone. The hardest thing for God to gain in man is his heart. This may be likened to a father who loves his son more than anything else but is not able to gain his son’s heart. For us to cooperate with someone, our heart must be open to that person. God has a great deal of work that He desires to do in the universe, but He must gain the cooperation of man in order to accomplish His work. Hence, to do this, He has to touch man’s heart.
How does God touch man’s heart? What method does He use to move our heart? He uses His love to move our heart. What is love? Love is God’s heart. The heart is really a special thing. When we talk about the heart, we usually refer to love. The heart does not respond to thinking; it must be touched by love. God created us with a heart so that we may feel such love. For example, when we are thirsty and someone gives us a glass of water, we drink it. But when we are not thirsty, no matter how much water people give us, we would not drink it. God’s heart is like the glass of water, and our heart is the thirst. Everyone responds to love because in man there is a heart of love. We have a body without and a spirit within, and in between our spirit and our body is the soul, which includes the mind, the emotion, and the will.
God’s heart desires that man would love Him, but man’s heart always loves something other than God, something that he should not love. Regardless of our age—old or young—some love their families, some love their pets, some love movies, some love to play mah-jongg, some love their reputation, some love position, some love knowledge, and some love money. It seems that without love man has no meaning. The wonderful thing is that once man has love, he is willing to do anything. Without love, however, it is difficult for him even to lift a finger. No matter how dirty a child is, his mother is willing to take care of him because she loves him. A maid, however, may not be able to render the same care. If we read the Bible in a serious way, we should know that God’s first demand on man is his heart, and second, his love. From the very beginning until the end, God just wants man to be for Him, and God desires that man would love Him with his heart.
The most legitimate love is the love for God Himself. If our heart loves anything else, sooner or later we will suffer loss. Many people who love money are eventually bitten by money. Many people who love others are cheated by them. The Bible tells us that only those who love God really taste the sweetness. Psalm 43:4 says, “I will go to the altar of God, / To God my exceeding joy.” To those whose heart is turned to God, God is their joy. Some people love God so much that just hearing the name of God causes them to feel like they have received an electric shock. This is the kind of heart toward Him that God desires.
However, once we turn our heart to God and we are prepared to live for God, a problem will come. If a person has love, then he will also have an opinion. We may use as an illustration a time when I went to a certain place, and the saints there loved me very much. When they ate, they liked to put sesame oil in every single dish of food or bowl of soup. Thus, the more sesame oil they put into your dish, the more they welcomed you. However, I did not like sesame oil; whenever I smelled sesame oil, I could not stand it. Yet at that time I had no choice but to eat it because we who work for the Lord have to keep a principle that wherever we go, we eat whatever people serve us. Not only did they put sesame oil in my food, but regardless of whether I slept or went out, there was always a brother with me. As a result, I could not rest well or come near to God. They really loved much, but this kind of love was unbearable.
This example shows us that once a person loves God, his opinions and proposals will follow and that once his opinions and proposals come, God will suffer. For example, if someone loves you according to his own opinion and never pays attention to your feeling, you will only suffer from this kind of love. Peter was just like this in Matthew 16. His love for the Lord was right, but his good intention in rebuking the Lord was not right. His good heart was right, but his good intention was not right. God wants man’s heart but not man’s opinion. Do you love your husband? The secret of love is that you do not do things according to your own intention and will but according to his intention and his will. If those saints who loved me really knew what love is, they would have asked me whether or not I eat sesame oil instead of insisting on putting sesame oil in my food. In Matthew 16 Peter did have a good intention, yet the Lord said, “Get behind Me, Satan!” (v. 23). Today many people love the Lord and are zealous for the Lord, but their good intentions have never been broken by the Lord. They cast out demons in the Lord’s name, but the Lord does not approve of them because they do it according to their own intention and preference and not according to the Lord’s intention and preference. They do not take care of God’s preference but man’s preference.
Therefore, the Lord said, “If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me” (v. 24). To forsake the self is to deny the self. The function of the cross is to put the self to death. Many times when we do not love the Lord very much, we do not have that many problems, but the more we love the Lord, the more sufferings we have. When they gave me sesame oil, I could refrain from saying anything; however, one day their “giving of sesame oil” will be broken by God. I suffered, not because of their love, but because of their opinion. We must see that the cross comes to deal with our opinion. The life and work of every fallen man is always directed by his thinking, and if his thinking is strong, it becomes his opinion. Due to the fall, man’s opinion has become the strongest factor in directing his living and move.
Man’s heart loves the Lord, but man’s way of thinking has never been broken by the Lord. For this reason God always breaks us. Some are willing to receive such a breaking, while others withdraw when they suffer a blow. For example, some sisters really love the Lord, and they are willing to serve in the meeting hall. But once their heart is stirred up, their opinion also comes. One example of this is cleaning the chairs in the meeting hall. Even in this service two different people will have two different opinions. One says that she wants to clean the chairs with a dry cloth, while another insists that she use a damp cloth. Finally, the one who suggests using a dry cloth would say, “All right. If you insist that your opinion is right, then I will leave. You clean the chairs by yourself.” Does this sister love the church? Of course she loves the church. But if she loves the church, why did she leave? She left because the other sister did not clean the chairs according to her opinion. Opinions can be a problem even in the preaching of the gospel. All the saints are zealous and are willing to rise up to join the gospel team for the preaching of the gospel. One brother, however, says that the gospel drums should be beaten in his way, and if others do not accept his opinion, he will not come again. We all have to learn the lesson that in all our service we should bring our heart but not our opinion.
The service of the church does not depend on the accomplishment of tasks but on the perfecting of the person who serves. Time is God’s servant. Thus, we all need to receive God’s dealing while we are in time so that we will be the kind of people that God desires. In the preaching of the gospel and in the work, everything hinges on how much dealing we have received. We may use the sisters who clean the chairs as an example. The sister who takes the lead may not be as good as you, because you are smart and capable. Your opinion may be very good, so if the sisters do not listen to you, you will not come again. If this is the case, you not only do not know how to do things, but you do not even know how to conduct yourself as a proper human being. The lesson of the cross is that even though my opinion may be right, I do not pay attention to my own opinion; all I know is to love the Lord. When I come to clean the chairs, I would like to clean away all my opinions and disposition. If at home you love your husband, and your husband loves you to the extent that he even lets you put the chairs upside down, then in this situation it is hard for you to be broken. The greatest function of the cross is to break your proposals, your opinions, and your being.
In the matter of service we often do things according to our own opinions. In addition, the more we love the Lord, the more opinions we have. The flesh is hidden in our love for the Lord. How do we know this? It is because our flesh is hidden in our opinions, and our opinions are, in fact, sugar-coated poison. When people do not accept our opinions, our flesh will be expressed right away. If we do something well, but people insist on saying that we did not do it well, our flesh will immediately be expressed in our temper. Everyone is the same. Before we ask a person for help, he does not have any opinions; however, once we ask him for help, all his opinions will come with him. When love comes, opinions follow. However, once our opinions come, God will come to break them. Some people, due to their fear of God’s breaking, withdraw their love. There was once a brother who loved the Lord and was willing to offer his money and effort to the church, yet the brothers with whom he met were not very nice to him. This caused him to be discouraged. In terms of serving, it may have been the brothers who did not see things accurately, and perhaps he was right; however, in terms of his person, it was the Lord who wanted to deal with him through the brothers.
When we read the four Gospels, we see that Peter loved to give his opinions and always made mistakes. In Matthew 17 one day the Lord and His disciples went to Capernaum. While the Lord was in the house, those who took the temple tax came and asked Peter, “Does not your Teacher pay the temple tax?” Peter answered them without any hesitation and said, “Yes.” Here we see that he gave his opinion and left his position. He should have returned to the house and asked the Lord whether or not He would pay the tax. Peter did not ask the Lord but said, “Yes.” So when he entered into the house, the Lord asked him, “From whom do the kings of the earth receive custom or poll tax, from their sons or from strangers?” Peter replied, “From strangers.” Then the Lord said, “So then the sons are free” (vv. 24-26). However, for the sake of not stumbling others, the Lord paid the tax. When Peter said, “Yes,” the Lord said, “No.” And when Peter said, “No,” the Lord said, “Yes.” The Lord did this intentionally to deal with Peter. In addition, how did they pay the tax? The way they paid the tax was by the Lord’s asking Peter to go fishing. This really troubled Peter. The Lord told him to take the first fish that he caught, to take a stater out from its mouth, and then to take that to pay the tax (v. 27). This is very meaningful. If I were Peter, I would have been perplexed. Why did the Lord deal with Peter in such a way? The Lord mainly did this to deal with Peter’s opinions because Peter always spoke first. However, in Acts we see that Peter had been dealt with. By this time he had been thoroughly dealt with and did not have any opinions. When the rulers of the people came, took Peter and John away, and forbade them to preach based upon the name of Jesus, Peter said to them that although they asked him not to speak, if God wanted him to speak, he would have to speak (Acts 4:18-20). His heart and his thinking had been dealt with by God.
In the Old Testament King David felt that he should prepare a sanctuary for God since he himself dwelt in a house of cedar. Hence, he set the Ark of God upon a new cart, brought it out of the house of Abinadab from Baale-judah, and carried it to the city of David. On the way, when they came to Nachon’s threshing floor, the oxen stumbled and the Ark of God began to fall over, so Uzzah reached out and took hold of the Ark. When he did so, he was struck by God. After Uzzah died, David wondered if he had done something wrong. Later, he understood that this happened because God does not like man’s strength. As a result, the next time David had the priests bear the Ark of Jehovah. When they had gone six paces, David sacrificed an ox and a fatling, girded himself with an ephod, and danced with all his might before Jehovah (2 Sam. 6:1-15). This story shows us how God rejects man’s thought and man’s ability.
On the night that the Lord told the disciples that they would all be stumbled because of Him, Peter said to the Lord, “If all will be stumbled because of You, I will never be stumbled” (Matt. 26:33). Right after he said such a word, God specially raised up an environment to strike his pride. When the Lord was being taken away after being arrested, Peter followed Him at a distance, and while the Lord was being tortured cruelly by the high priest, Peter warmed himself in the courtyard. While he was there, a servant girl came up to him and said, “You also were with Jesus the Galilean” (v. 69). Peter denied this immediately. On that night the Lord’s word that Peter would deny Him three times was fulfilled. Through this experience Peter was dealt with and was distressed to the uttermost. As a result, later he went fishing.
After the Lord was resurrected, He manifested Himself to Peter at the Sea of Tiberias and said to him, “Do you love Me?” This time Peter did not answer the Lord directly, saying, “I love You,” but instead he said, “Yes, Lord, You know that I love You” (John 21:16). Although Peter loved the Lord, he realized that his speaking did not mean anything. So when the Lord asked him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved, and he said to the Lord, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You” (v. 17). At this point Peter really had lost all his confidence. He did love the Lord very much, but he had no more confidence in himself. Before he had said in a bold way that he would not be stumbled, yet he was stumbled three times in a single day. On that day at the Sea of Tiberias, the fact that the Lord asked him three times, “Do you love Me,” really has a special meaning. On the day that he denied the Lord, Peter was warming himself in the courtyard of the high priest, but on this day the Lord prepared the fire for him at the Sea of Tiberias. Formerly, Peter went fishing for his living, but on this day the Lord gave him fish to eat. Before Peter needed to start the fire; now the Lord prepared the fire for him. Before Peter needed to fish for his living; now the Lord roasted a fish for him. At the Sea of Tiberius the Lord came in person to touch Peter’s heart, and once the Lord’s love came, all Peter’s natural power was gone.
However, when Peter saw the disciple whom the Lord loved, reclining on Jesus’ breast, his opinion came out again, and he asked, “Lord, and what about this man?” (v. 21). In response, the Lord dealt with him again, saying, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me” (v. 22). Before saying this, the Lord also had said to Peter, “When you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go” (v. 18). The Lord wanted Peter not to pay attention to how other people would be but to just follow Him. This is the last dealing that Peter had. Peter’s flesh and way of thinking were all dealt with. He did not have any more opinions or any more self. Therefore, on the day of Pentecost Peter was not the same; he was absolutely another person. Even when people did not want him to speak, he continued to speak for the Lord’s testimony. He was entirely without the self. Eventually, God’s will broke Peter’s will, and the death of the cross subdued Peter’s opinions and strength. It is said that eventually Peter was even willing to be crucified for the Lord upside down.
