I am still burdened about the matter of peculiarity. I do not believe we can get through this matter quite easily. What do you realize concerning the problem of peculiarity?
Well, last week we saw that peculiarity is a matter of our character being biased and warped. As I considered this week, I realized that peculiarity is the expression of the self. It is the final expression of the natural man. Its root is our desire to be expressed. Because we desire for people to appreciate us, to accept us, this causes us to live out our natural life rather than living out Christ. Because it is the expression of our natural man, and because we have lived with it for so long, it is not easy to identify. Peculiarity separates us from others and even causes us to guard ourselves and protect ourselves so that we cannot be built with others.
The points you have covered concerning peculiarity are true, but I still feel that this word has not yet reached the bottom of the problem of peculiarity. There is a bottom to this matter, and it may be difficult for us to see. We may consider that peculiarity is simply something biased, warped, natural, not good, and so forth. But as we look into this matter, we need to realize once more that our Christian life is nothing but for us to live Christ. The Christian life is to live Christ. This is strongly and emphatically revealed in the New Testament. Some of the verses are so familiar to the seeking Christians. They know Galatians 2:20, which says that it is no longer I but Christ who lives in me. They also know Philippians 1:21, that to me, to live is Christ. But you have to realize that verses like these are either missed by many Christians, or they are not cared for, or they are misinterpreted. Some have condemned us and opposed us for using this verse: “To me, to live is Christ” (v. 21). They say that this is to uplift ourselves to the level of Christ. They condemn this, but when I read their words, I say, “Yes, it is true! God’s salvation is to uplift us to the level of Christ!” Some also have written saying that Witness Lee lowers Christ down to the human level. Again I say, “Yes, that is incarnation! The incarnation really brings God down to man’s level!”
Do not forget that Paul wrote Philippians 1:21 near the end of his ministry. At the end of his earthly journey he was going to be offered as a drink offering to the Lord. He was ready to be martyred. He was such a person; he had passed through so many things; he had done much work. But at the end of his ministry, at the end of his Christian race, he said that to him, to live was Christ. This indicates such a mature person in the Lord. At that time he did not care for anything else. He only cared for one thing—to live Christ. To him, to live was Christ. This really means to live Christ. It is not a matter of doing a certain kind of work; it is just to live Christ.
In his earlier ministry he had said that it was no longer he but Christ who lived in him (Gal. 2:20). By these two verses we can see that the apostle Paul lived a life not for anything else but simply to live Christ. We have to realize that, according to our limited experience, the most hidden thing that frustrates us from living Christ is peculiarity. Peculiarity is the hidden thing in you and me all the time occupying us and frustrating us from living Christ. We all could easily realize that the world frustrates us from living Christ. In a sense we do not need to talk about that. I do not believe, however, that many among us have ever condemned our peculiarity. In fact, we may have appreciated it. If we do not condemn our peculiarity, it will keep us away from living Christ.
We have to look into this matter of peculiarity from this unique angle: God’s intention is to work Christ into us. God’s intention is even to make us Christ. We have to realize that God’s salvation is to make us Christ. We are no more ignorant. Through the years we have been enlightened. We know that Christ is the firstborn Son of God, and through Him all of us have been made sons of God, and all of us have been made His brothers, even His members. We are parts of Christ. God’s intention is to work Christ into us to make us Christ, that we may live Christ. But we have to ask ourselves: how much do we live Christ? I know that you would not go back to the world. You would never go to Las Vegas and enter the casinos. You probably would not even go to a movie. But do you realize that unconsciously you are very much occupied by your peculiarity? Culture does not occupy us in such a hidden way as peculiarity does. Even opinions do not occupy us so much. The most hidden thing, the most secret thing, the most subtle thing, that almost occupies us in full, is our peculiarity.
Some people are very much manifested in their peculiarity. If I called their names, you might laugh because from the past you have been impressed with their manifested peculiarity. But let me tell you honestly, everyone has a peculiarity. Do not think you have no peculiarity. Even the most common brothers and the nicest sisters have their peculiarities. I have it, and you all have it. In the past I have pointed out to you how difficult it is for us to deal with our little temper. No one can boast that he is fully successful in dealing with his temper. Because I am older, I may not lose my temper outwardly, but inwardly I may lose my temper a lot. It is not so easy to successfully deal with your temper. But there is another thing within us that we have probably never dealt with—that is our peculiarity. We all have been disgusted with our temper, but perhaps we have never been disgusted with our peculiarity. Perhaps we have never condemned our peculiarity. Because some of you have been contacting me for years, you surely have discovered my peculiarity. Because of my contact with you, I too have discovered everything. I have discovered the quick persons, the slow persons, the bad persons, the good persons, the low persons, and the high persons. I have discovered that all these people have their peculiarity. The hardest thing for us to deal with is our peculiarity. Whenever we meet someone, right away we realize they have a kind of peculiarity. Although we may not be able to identify it so clearly, we realize it is there. Deep within, you realize something is there that is not Christ. Rather, something is there that frustrates Christ, that bothers Christ, and that damages our living Christ. You cannot pin it down, and you cannot identify it, but within, you have an inner sensation, an inner realization, concerning the peculiarity. By this you can see that peculiarity is a very subtle matter.
For us in the Lord’s recovery it is not so easy to tell a lie or to commit some sins or to do something so apparently in the flesh. It really is not so easy. But it is also not so easy for us to live Christ. What is the problem? Why is it not so easy for us to live Christ? Sooner or later you will realize in your Christian life that your culture is a problem for you to live Christ. Then your opinion is a problem. Ultimately, there is a bigger problem, that is, your peculiarity. Peculiarity is a high mountain within our being that occupies us and gives no place to Christ. Our peculiarity occupies nearly our whole being. It does not give any place to Christ. You love the Lord, and I do too. We all love the Lord, yet we do not live Him so much, and He does not occupy us so much. Why? Because there is no ground, no room, within us. We just do not give in. The peculiarity within us does not give in, so Christ actually does not have much ground. He does not have much room within us. Eventually, we just live ourselves. Our self is covered with many nice cloaks, but underneath those cloaks is our peculiarity.
I have known a certain brother almost thirty years. In the meetings the brothers and sisters have seen his manifested peculiarity, but probably not many of you know his concealed peculiarity. I have to testify that I know his hidden peculiarity. He loves the Lord very much, but after so many years he has had no growth in life. He is still the same. What is the problem? Peculiarity! I must be honest and fair to say that he has improved a lot, but improvement does not mean growth. In a sense everyone is improving. If a person stays in the church, he will surely be improved a lot. But to be improved does not mean that you are growing. To grow in life is altogether another thing. What does it mean to grow in life? It means to grow by the growth of God, to have the addition of Christ. I have seen much improvement with this brother, but I have not seen much addition of Christ. Why? Peculiarity is still there. The ground given to Christ has not been increasing. Christ has just about as much ground as He had thirty years ago. Peculiarity is there hidden within like a great mountain, frustrating the growth in life.
We all have our peculiarity. This is why we may be seeking year after year but have little growth. Year after year we are seeking yet with little transformation. We may have much improvement but almost no transformation. I hope that these meetings may give you a real vision concerning your peculiarity. I hope that you may realize you have a hidden problem. This hidden problem is why you have been at a standstill for so many years. I have been with many of you for years, and I fully realize that you are at a standstill because of your peculiarity.
Another brother whom you know may be considered as a typical and good gentleman. Apparently he has no peculiarities. He always goes along with everybody. No one in the church has ever been offended by this dear brother and his wife. They are a good couple. But do you believe that this couple has no peculiarity? I must tell you that their peculiarity is even much stronger than yours. Your peculiarity might be like a piece of glass, so easy to break. But this brother’s peculiarity is like a piece of rubber; you can never break it. When you try to break his peculiarity, it disappears. Although his wife may behave herself in such a nice way that you can hardly find anything to break, surely peculiarity is there.
I hope we can see that we all have peculiarity. As long as the ground within you for Christ is not increasing, you must realize that your peculiarity is a problem. Sometimes your peculiarity may appear weak, but actually it is very strong. We were born with peculiarity. This is the hidden and strong self under a certain kind of cloak. Many of the brothers and sisters are at a standstill in their growth in life. You are hungry and thirsty, but to some extent you have never gotten any help to deal with your peculiarity. You love the Lord and you love the church, yet you have not had much growth. You have not backslidden to the world, but you have no growth. You must realize that the problem is peculiarity.
In the past you were helped in many different matters, such as dealing with the world. You have cleared up many things, but one thing still remains. That thing is the peculiarity. This one problem causes us to be at a standstill in the growth of life. It is very difficult to break the peculiarity because it is so subtle and hidden. When you try to break the peculiarity, it disappears. When you want to catch it, it hides itself. Do not think that peculiarity is simply the choice of the flesh. That is another thing. Nor is it simply the better part of the flesh. No, peculiarity is something so hidden that you can hardly pin it down. The only way that you can discover your peculiarity is to notice that over the years you have been short of Christ. Although you may not have been wrong in anything, you had a real shortage of Christ. Christ has not been added into you very much. When we get to the bottom problem of peculiarity, it is not that you make trouble for others or that it is hard for you to be built up with others. The problem is that it occupies you and gives no place in you to Christ. You may be very good. You may not be wrong in anything. But you do not have that much Christ. Christ has not been added to you. Only by Christ can you find out your peculiarity. When you try to find out your peculiarity, it disappears.
With many dear saints the boundary of Christ within them has not changed for forty years. In a sense I would say that the boundary has been somewhat reduced in the forty years. In 1933 I went to Shanghai to work with Brother Watchman Nee. Even though I was quite young, I was charged to bear quite a burden. Even when Brother Nee was home, he still would not speak. Rather, he charged me to speak. He spoke only in the conferences. Then when he was out of town, he charged me to bear the burden of the church and also of the work. Because of this I got to know many persons. Some are still living today. To my registration, with some of these the boundary of Christ was broader then than today. Their human living has no doubt improved very much, but as far as Christ in them is concerned, the territory has been reduced.
If we have no vision concerning our ugly, bothering peculiarity, the time will come that the territory of Christ within us will be reduced. There will not be addition but reduction. Many things related to our human life reduce as we grow older. But one thing that never reduces is our peculiarity. Rather, our peculiarity always increases. For example, our temper reduces as we grow older. I can testify that fifty years ago my temper was very high. Today my temper is still here, but it has been reduced. Many bad habits are reduced as the years go by, but we have to realize that as we grow older, our peculiarity will increase and develop. This is quite terrible and even terrifying. Once we see this vision, surely we will say, “Lord, have mercy upon me! Have mercy upon me! I have no trust in myself.”
Unless we see this vision, we will become numb to the growth in life. I have seen many who became numb to the growth in life. They still love the church; they still attend the meetings. But year after year you cannot see the addition of Christ in them. Rather, you have to lament that the territory of Christ in their life has been reduced and reduced and reduced. But they have become numb so that they do not condemn their lack of growth in life. Meeting after meeting and message after message they are numb. With them there is no sensation. When the young people first come into the church life, they are so sensitive. Just one message helps them. But with many of us message after message is taken in, but no help is received. Something hidden is there that frustrates the growth in life. That is peculiarity.
Although some of you have been among us for eight or nine years, you have not gotten much growth in life. Christ has not been increasing within you. His territory within you has not been enlarged. Rather, it has been restricted. This is simply because of your peculiarity. Nearly all the ground of your being is occupied by this hidden thing, peculiarity. At the beginning of your Christian life or of your church life you had a lot of improvement and a lot of growth. You gave Christ more and more place, but after a certain time the territory of Christ in your Christian life stopped being enlarged. Now it is restricted all the time.
We have to consider this as a very serious matter. We have to ask the Lord for His mercy to be rescued from this problem. We simply cannot do anything. The only thing we can do is to realize we have such a problem. If you can realize that you have such a problem, you are very close to the border of being rescued. The realization that comes from such a vision nearly becomes your rescue. Then you will begin to have no confidence in your being. You will realize that some hidden problem is concealed in your being, your peculiarity. Once we have such a realization of this problem, we will become fearful and trembling in the Lord. This will be a great rescue to us.
Peculiarity is very deep within our being and occupies us subtly from experiencing Christ. We may consider that this person is peculiar or that person is peculiar, but, in fact, we all have peculiarity. We are all sick of the disease of peculiarity. Peculiarity is a very subtle thing. If you consider that a certain person is peculiar, it must be that his peculiarity is not so subtle because it is very apparent. Because it is on the surface, everyone is clear about it. But your peculiarity may be very subtle. It may be deeply hidden within you. Not only do others fail to see it; even you yourself cannot discern your peculiarity. You do not realize that you have a serious and terrible peculiarity, because it is so hidden within you.
Not one person has no peculiarity. Every fallen descendant of Adam is a peculiar person. As long as we are descendants of the fallen Adam, we are peculiar. This is a principle. If it is difficult for you to discover my peculiarity, it simply proves that my peculiarity is more subtle. It is hidden in the many good aspects of my character and being. This kind of hidden peculiarity is the strongest controller and director of your being. Whatever you do is controlled by this hidden peculiarity. Even your spirituality is under its direction. This is even the reason that people can see your spirituality. People cannot see your hidden peculiarity. Your spirituality is like a kite, and your peculiarity is like a hidden person holding the kite string. Your spirituality is under the control of such a subtle, hidden thing—your peculiarity.
Years ago, from about 1932, I began to realize that within the seeking Christians there was a kind of hidden peculiarity. At that time I did not see so much the hidden peculiarity, but I saw the apparent peculiarity. I only saw that certain people were quite peculiar because their peculiarity was on the surface. I did not realize that actually everyone is peculiar. After many years of experience and observation, I realize that not one person is not peculiar. I have met many very spiritual people, and with every one of them there was a kind of peculiarity. This bothered me. Before I met them, I heard about them, and I read their books. I got much help from them, and I respected them. From reading their books I had a very high imagination concerning them. But after I met them and stayed with them, I became disappointed. I cannot say that they were bad; they were all good. But the disappointing thing was that all of them had a kind of peculiarity. I was disappointed when I discovered that these spiritual persons did not match my dream concerning them.
Then I began to consider myself. I realized that my peculiarity might be stronger than theirs. Now I really sympathize with others because I realize that we all have peculiarity. No two faces are exactly the same, and no two peculiarities are exactly the same. Every man’s peculiarity is different. People’s faces may be somewhat easy to describe: some are round; others are long; others may be square. But people’s peculiarities are very difficult to name and to denominate.
At this point I would like to give a name to your peculiarity, and that name is antichrist. Your peculiarity and my peculiarity is named antichrist. Very few Christians realize that the terrible antichrist is our peculiarity. Actually speaking, today Christ does not have much position and authority on the earth. The whole earth is antichrist. No doubt all the unbelievers are antichrist, but even we the believers who are the lovers of Christ have within us an antichrist. Something is within usurping and occupying us so that Christ has no position. Christ does not have much ground within us. The ground within us for Christ is subtly and hiddenly possessed altogether by our peculiarity.
According to my observations, the Christians who have the strongest peculiarity are those who are the most “spiritual.” Many times the common lovers of Christ do not have such a strong peculiarity, but those who are top spiritual persons have a very strong peculiarity. They do everything “spiritually.” They have spirituality, but they do not give much ground to Christ. They live, walk, and behave in their spirituality, not in Christ. Their spirituality occupies their being. Because of this no one can condemn them. Their peculiarity is not in the world, in the self, or in the flesh. Rather, it is in their spirituality. You could only see their spirituality; you could not see their peculiarity. Actually, their spirituality is their peculiarity. In pretense it is spirituality, but in actuality it is peculiarity. In a sense if you are not peculiar, you can never be “spiritual.” Many times spirituality is a cloak for peculiarity.
One thing makes me fearful: as I read the biographies of many spiritual people, I realize a number of them did not have a good ending. Some of them had a good beginning and a good process but not a good ending of their spiritual life. Why? Because their hidden peculiarity became the real issue in their life. Their “spirituality,” which actually was their peculiarity, caused them to end their lives not in a good way. The older we become, the more peculiar we are. I am concerned that as I get older and older, I will become more peculiar. I fear lest my peculiarity hide itself under the cloak of spirituality and increase. This has happened to a number of spiritual persons.
We are touching a very crucial thing. This is why I call peculiarity within us antichrist. From reading many biographies you can discover a principle: some of the lives in these biographies end with that person’s peculiarity. Peculiarity became the very issue of their life. This shows that something is within all of us that can be called antichrist. It occupies us and will not let us give Christ an inch of ground. Our inner being, our hidden being, is fully usurped by this antichrist. It is such a subtle thing because it usurps us, yet it pretends to be for Christ. Many times it pretends to be for Christ under the cloak of spirituality. Actually, it is neither Christ nor spirituality but just us in our peculiarity. This is one of the crucial killing factors within our Christian life. I call it antichrist. It is in us, and it is difficult for us to name. We are short of a proper vocabulary. We do not have the adequate words to express something concerning our peculiarity. It is just peculiar. How can we pin down our peculiarity? How can we discern that such a thing within us is antichrist?
First of all, you should not believe that your daily life is really a life that lives Christ. At least you are not living Christ all the time in a daily way. You must admit this. I surely admit this. During the past weeks my confession to the Lord has been mainly that I did not live Christ. We all must admit that we do not have a daily life that lives Christ. We may declare, “To me, to live is Christ” (Phil. 1:21), but we cannot testify of such an experience. According to our experience, we would have to say that to us, to live is something else, not Christ. Others around you may not be so clear, but you yourself know where you are. You know that you do not live Christ much in your daily life.
Second, you have to ask yourself who is there or what is there all the time that you do not live Christ. Since you cannot say “to me, to live is Christ,” you must say “to me, to live is my peculiarity.” If you are not living Christ, you must be living your peculiarity. This is the case unless you are living sin or worldliness or the flesh. These things are easy to denominate and to designate. But if you are living something that you cannot designate, that you cannot name, you have to realize that is peculiarity. Peculiarity is always much better than sin or worldliness or the self or the flesh. All these things are easy to designate. But if you are living something that you cannot designate, no doubt that is peculiarity. Peculiarity is neither sin nor worldliness nor flesh nor lust nor Christ. You live something daily. To you, to live is something daily. If it is not sin or worldliness or the flesh or Christ, surely it is peculiarity. Because you have never seen it, you have never condemned it. Yet what you are now proves that there is such a thing. Now you do live something—not sin, not worldliness, not lust, not flesh, not disposition—but not Christ either. Because it is not apparently something bad, you have never condemned it. This is your peculiarity.
Third, we need to see why we have opinions and why we are not absolutely one with others. The opinion, the dissension, the lack of absolute oneness with others, comes from peculiarity. If you have been enlightened, and if your peculiarity has really been dealt with, you will be a person with a sober mind, a strong will, a pure love, and a very rich spirit. You would go along with anyone and have no opinion. You would realize what is real oneness, and you would have no more dissension. You would go along with others in anything as long as it is not sinful. Why do we have the opinions? Whenever a husband and wife sit down at the dining table, opinion comes. This is because you have your peculiarity, and your spouse has her peculiarity. From this peculiarity comes the opinion. We do not live Christ that much, because we have this antichrist—peculiarity. Christian brothers cannot be one, because there is some antichrist within. Peculiarity is an enemy to Christ and also an enemy to the Body life. You cannot live Christ as long as you have your peculiarity, and you cannot have the proper Body life as long as you have your peculiarity. Bring this matter to the Lord and spend some time to pray about it. If you will do this, I believe you will see more. Many have been among us for at least ten years. But you have been stopped and stuck at this one point by the hidden antichrist of peculiarity within you.
