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Scripture Reading: Psa. 51:16-17; Luke 15:23-24; 2 Cor. 12:8-9
In the previous chapter we saw that God does not lead us on a straight path; it is a path that has ups and downs. In this chapter we will see that failures enable us to experience more of God.
As humans, we appreciate victory more than failure, and as children of God, we would be very satisfied if we experienced no failures in our daily living. From our experience, however, we should realize that failure is more precious than victory. When I say this, I have no intention of encouraging us to fail. It is useless to encourage someone to experience failure, and it is useless to encourage someone to seek victory. Whether a person stands or falls is unrelated to the encouragement he receives. We may think that we are able to stand because we are strong or that we will fail because we are weak, but those who have sufficient experience know that it is not up to us whether we stand or fall.
Romans 14:4 says, “Who are you who judge another’s household servant? To his own master he stands or falls.” This word shows that our standing and our falling depend on the Lord. We were created by the Lord. Our life and our breath do not depend upon ourselves but upon the Lord. Likewise, our ability to stand and overcome does not depend on ourselves but on the Lord. On the one hand, the Lord encourages us to stand and not to fall, to go forward and not to shrink back, to be victorious and not to be defeated. On the other hand, none of these matters — standing or falling, going forward or shrinking back, and being victorious or defeated — depend on ourselves. All these matters are in the Lord’s hand.
We all are familiar with the Lord’s story in Luke 15 concerning a certain man having two sons (vv. 11-32). This story illustrates a great principle that is difficult for many people to understand when they first begin to follow the Lord. Only those who have followed the Lord for a considerable period of time understand the principle that God’s riches can be experienced only by those who have been defeated. Those who have never been defeated cannot experience the riches of God. The older son in Luke 15 apparently had no experience of failure, but he also had no enjoyment of his father’s riches. Instead, it was the younger son who enjoyed the father’s riches (vv. 23-24).
It is very difficult for someone who has never experienced failure to be saved. A person with no experience of failure is hindered from receiving salvation, because in his own eyes, he is perfect, strong, and able to stand. I knew a person who was very highly regarded by others, but he was also boastful. On one hand, he seemingly had a humble disposition, but on the other hand, he was boastful of the fact that he had never been in trouble and had never failed. He often said that many believers in Jesus and even preachers were inferior to him, even though he was an unbeliever. From his perspective, he truly was an excellent man.
One day, when I was sitting with a senior co-worker, I asked, “How can we help such a person?” He said, “Brother, your friend is like the older son in Luke 15, who kept his father’s orders and never disobeyed his father. Just like this older son, your friend has never fallen and has never been in trouble.” Then the senior co-worker asked me, “Why do you think that your friend needs salvation?” I replied, “He needs salvation because he is still a sinner.” The co-worker said, “Yes, he is a sinner in Adam, but he is not a sinner in his own eyes.” Then I asked, “What should we do? How can he be saved?” The senior co-worker replied with a very interesting word. He said, “It is not enough for him to recognize that he is a sinner in Adam. In order for him to be saved, he must also see that he is a sinner in himself. He has to pass through a great fall and suffer a great defeat in order for him to be willing to be saved.” I said, “But it is dangerous to experience such a great fall.” He replied, “Are you more concerned for your friend than God is? Look at the younger son. God allowed him to fall so far that he eventually was in a distant place dwelling with hogs. God allowed him to be in such a situation because only those who fall can enjoy the riches of God. Your friend needs to fall; without falling, he cannot be saved.” I said, “I do not like to hear that a person cannot be saved unless he falls.” The co-worker said, “I understand, but it is not easy for an ‘older’ son to be saved. It is the ‘younger’ sons who are saved.”
What does it mean to be an “older” son? Anyone who stands and does not fall is an “older” son. Upon hearing such a word, some will probably say, “Okay, let us all fall,” but it is not up to us whether we stand or fall. Just as obeying God’s commands is not up to us, being indifferent to God’s commandments, like the younger son who fell to the point of living with hogs, is also not up to us.
The senior co-worker finally asked me, “Brother, do you know God’s salvation or not?” I said, “Of course, I know. The Lord Jesus died for us by shedding His precious blood. When we believe in Him, we are saved. This is God’s salvation.” He said, “What you have said is just doctrine; it is useless. According to experience, the younger son knew salvation, and the older son did not. If you have never fallen or been defeated, you are an older son, and you do not know what salvation is.” Then the co-worker asked me, “Have you ever fallen? Have you ever failed? Have you ever lived like a prodigal son?” I answered, “I have lived like a prodigal son more than the younger son in Luke 15.” Then he said, “Praise the Lord, you know God’s salvation.”
When a person who has followed the Lord for many years looks back and considers his past, he will worship the Lord and say, “Lord, all the failures that caused me grief have turned out to be blessings.” When we fail, we touch and gain the Lord the most. Persons who have no “holes” cannot know God’s grace; only those who have been broken can know God’s grace.
Consider the story of King David. From his youth, whether in the eyes of his father, his brothers, or King Saul, David was pious and blameless. We all admire his condition. However, this pious person did not truly know God’s grace or experience His riches; consequently, God loosened His grip on David. Once God loosened His grip, David’s integrity fell apart, and his whole being was affected. When he fell, everyone who knew him probably felt that he was finished because of the seriousness of his failure. This was even David’s feeling about himself. In Psalm 51 he says, “You do not delight in sacrifice; / Otherwise I would offer it; / You take no pleasure in burnt offerings. / The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; / A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise” (vv. 16-17). David said that his spirit and heart were broken. A broken spirit is a sacrifice to God, and a broken heart will not be despised by God. David’s spirit and heart were broken not because of misery or suffering but because of his failure, his fall. He hated his failure to such an extent that both his spirit and heart were broken. Despite his failure, God bestowed grace on him because he was a broken person. God can bestow His grace on a person who has a broken spirit and a broken heart.
Some saints have been saved for more than ten years, yet they remain intact, without any change in their being. They seemingly have never fallen or been in trouble; they are complete in themselves. However, such persons have little experience of grace or knowledge of God. Those who experience God’s grace and know God are those who have experienced serious failures. Such failures break a person in his spirit and in his heart.
There are many mysterious things in the universe. Although we prefer the light of the day, the darkness of the night is often more useful in God’s hand. Although we long for situations full of peace, situations full of suffering are often more useful in God’s hand. In the same principle, we long for victory, but we have little realization that our failures enable God to give us more grace. We desire to be strong, but we have little realization that our weaknesses enable us to profit from God’s riches. God will never remove all our weaknesses; He will allow some weaknesses to remain with us throughout our human life. Those who have some spiritual experience know that when we are strong, it is not easy to experience the Lord. Rather, when we are weak, when we cannot rise up to speak for the Lord, to pray, or to bear responsibility, and when we have no strength to handle difficulties, we experience and enjoy the Lord.
Our weaknesses, however, are not as precious as our failures. Did David experience and know more of God before his fall or after his fall? Only after his fall did he know more of God, experience more of God, and gain more of God. Failures cause a person who is whole in himself to be broken. Once he is broken, he can receive the great benefit of God working Himself into him.
A brother who is seemingly perfect and who has never experienced any trouble has little room in his being to receive grace and to know God. Although there is no “hole” in his being, there also is no entrance in his being for God. Without a “hole,” it is not easy for God’s grace to enter into him. Such a brother can attend meetings in an ordinary way, sometimes sleeping during the meeting and sometimes saying Amen. He can meet week after week, month after month, and year after year, but neither can he go forward or backward.
Another brother may progress very well after his salvation, but then, inexplicably, he falls, backslides, and no longer meets for several years. However, just when we think that he has been lost completely, he will come back, and he will be different than he was before. He will bear the marks of being broken. When he speaks, he will speak with humility and tears concerning his failures, and even though he has been away for several years, his words will help and encourage us more than our words will help and encourage him. I am not suggesting that a brother should not meet for several years in order to be able to give an encouraging testimony of recovery. Rather, I am only pointing out that there will be some genuine breaking and genuine supply in those whom God has led through a period of failure.
Many years ago there was a brother in northern China who passed through this kind of situation. He fell and could not rise up for several years. After he came back, he said, “Brother, it is hard for me to understand why I fell and could not rise up.” I responded, saying, “It is not difficult to understand what happened. You were a self-righteous and self-justified person who needed to pass through a serious fall, a serious failure. Before your fall you relied on yourself, boasted in yourself, and had full confidence in yourself. If God had not allowed you to have such a serious fall, how would you have ever known your true condition? You would have never lost confidence in yourself if you had simply not met for a few days. However, since you did not meet for three years, you know your real condition. In your present condition you are a broken person, and your spirit and heart have been broken as well.”
Some people exhort others to be humble, but this is not helpful. We should be humble, but we should not exhort others to be humble, because such exhortations are futile. We need to realize that genuine humility comes from failures. A fallen and broken person spontaneously is a humble person. Some saints boastfully say, “I have never missed a meeting; I have never fallen.” Nevertheless, in order for such a person to grow and advance, he needs some experience of failure. The way to receive grace involves failure, and failures come when God loosens the grip of His hand on us.
God is not concerned with our failures because He wants us to know ourselves and to have no confidence in ourselves; He wants our spirit and our heart to be broken. God treasures and desires a broken spirit and a broken heart because those who have a broken spirit and broken heart will be able to enjoy Him as grace. God’s greatest desire is that we would experience and enjoy Him, fully tasting of all that He is and has. However, we are incapable of complying with God’s desire. We think that we are able and sufficient; we rely on ourselves and have confidence in ourselves. Therefore, God is willing to loosen His grip and to allow us to fall and fail like a prodigal son.
In Luke 15 the father, who represents God, acted differently than we would as parents. When the younger son said to his father, “Give me the share of the estate that falls to me,” the father readily gave him his share (v. 12). The father did not respond by trying to exhort and persuade him to choose differently or by withholding his portion of the estate. Most parents would have responded in this way, but the father immediately gave the younger son his portion of the estate. Even when the son was leaving, the father did not try to restrain him. It seems as if the father was very hardhearted and did not love his son very much, because he simply gave up on him.
This is often how God treats us. He allows us to fail. He allows us to leave with what we have and lets us fall. However, when the younger son returned after wasting all his inheritance and living with hogs, the father blessed his son with his riches, and they all were merry and rejoicing. The father rejoiced because his son had died and was made alive again and had been lost and was found (vv. 24, 32). Anyone who has not died and who has never been lost is an “older son” who cannot fully enjoy his father’s love and his father’s riches.
I hope that we can see this deep principle: One who has never fallen or failed cannot know God, experience God, or enjoy God. God has no way to work Himself into a person who has no “holes.” In order for God to enter into us for our experience and enjoyment, we must experience repeated failures.
Blessed are those who fall; blessed are those who fail. Blessed are those who have not been meeting for a long while, blessed are those who cannot rise up, and blessed are those who are weak. Our inability to rise up, our falls, our failures, our forsaking of the meetings, and our backsliding only enable us to be broken. When our spirit and heart are broken and contrite, we will prostrate ourselves before God and say, “No one is more pitiful than I; no one is weaker than I; no one has failed more than I; no one is in a worse condition than I.” When we can say these words, we will be blessed, and we will even hear God saying, “Bring out quickly the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fattened calf; slaughter it, and let us eat and be merry, because this son of mine was dead and lives again; he was lost and has been found” (vv. 22-24).
The benefit of failure is that we are broken; the advantage of failure is that we enjoy God. We should not look down upon the failures in our Christian journey. Those who are experienced, who know God, and who are deep in the Lord will be able to say, “Thank You that You allowed me to fail so many times. Praise You that Your hand did not so quickly rescue me. Rather than praising You for rescuing me so quickly, I will praise You for not rescuing me quickly. I worship You that You have allowed me to fall and fail and even that You have allowed me to be indifferent and to backslide. I praise You that my many failures and my frequent backsliding have enabled me to know myself and to be broken before You. My heart is broken, and my spirit is broken. Although I cannot lift up my head before others, I have received Your grace and experienced You. Because of my weaknesses and failures, I can know You, experience You, and gain You.” The more we follow Him, the more we will know the sweetness and preciousness of our failures. I am not encouraging us to fail; rather, I am thankful that our failures bring in the enjoyment of God as grace.
