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In this chapter I will give a further conclusion to the fellowship concerning the experience of life. This conclusion has two parts that we should remember. The first part is to remember that we now have Christ within us as our Partner all the time. We no longer live, behave, act, and have our being by ourselves. We must remember that the Lord is living within us. The second part is that we must remember what kind of person we are.
The Christian life is a life of man being mingled with God. It is a life of two persons being mingled together and living together. It is not a matter of living a life by yourself. As a Christian, you must always keep in mind that you are no longer by yourself. Another One is always with you as a Partner, both in the small things and in the big things. The unbelievers do not have such a One with them in their experience; therefore, they do not understand this kind of language. As you are in your daily activities, you should realize that another invisible One is with you and indwelling you.
Sometimes we do not like the fact that He is dwelling within us because we are not able to do or say things so freely. When we are about to lose our temper, we have to consider Him. We must consider whether or not He likes to lose the temper with us. We have another One living within us, so we must live a life that never neglects, forgets, or disregards Him.
We must learn to always live a life with another Person inside of us. This should always be our spontaneous experience, but today it is still only our occasional experience. Without remembering that the Lord is within us, we may be free to like or dislike anyone according to our own choice. But when we remember that He is with us, our freedom is greatly reduced. Marriage reduces our freedom because we have to learn to live with another person. Before a brother marries, he is free to exercise his own likes or dislikes and to go wherever he likes. But after he is married, he always has another one with him. Quite often the husband is frustrated from doing what he likes by his wife, and the wife is also frustrated by the husband. The husband may want to laugh, but because of his wife he may not be free to do so. Before marriage he had no such restrictions or frustrations, but after marriage he has a lot of restrictions. Having a wife or husband really restricts our freedom, but our wife or husband can also be a great benefit to us, especially in the way of companionship.
From my youth I have sought to know how to live the Christian life, how to be holy, and how to be victorious. I have read many Christian publications on this subject. Eventually, I found out that not one of the ways presented in these books was really prevailing. According to my own experience, only the way of remembering that He is within us really works. The problem we have is that we often forget that He is within us. During our daily life, we just do not remember that the Lord as another One is with us. But when we do remember and realize that He is within us, everything is okay.
In our practical Christian experience we must always remember what we are. We must remember that according to our fallen nature, we are corrupt and evil. When we appreciate or think very highly of ourselves, we can easily be mistaken. When spouses lose their temper and exchange words with one another, if the husband considers himself to be better than his wife, his anger seems to increase. But if the husband remembers that he is mean, dirty, ugly, and altogether of no use, his anger will be reduced. Sometimes as we are about to criticize someone else, we are reminded about our own condition. This kind of remembrance always keeps us in our proper place and saves us from making mistakes. Every day we all need to be reminded concerning what kind of people we are.
We were created by God in a wonderful way, but we were also spoiled and contaminated by Satan. We were redeemed and saved by the Lord, but we still have our fallen body which is full of filthy, evil lusts. For this reason we groan that we might be delivered from our corrupted, fallen body (Rom. 8:23). Because our entire being was contaminated, we need the blood of Jesus Christ to continually and constantly cleanse us from all sin (1 John 1:7). The cleansing of the blood is like a shower that runs all the time. Under this cleansing current, contamination is taken away. But when we are not under this cleansing, contamination returns. Therefore, we need to apply the cleansing of the blood many times throughout the day.
In the Old Testament the priests offered many offerings daily. These offerings signify Christ in His various aspects. We must offer Christ as our daily sin offering and trespass offering for our continual cleansing (see Experiencing Christ as the Offerings for the Church Meetings, chs. 6—8). Many times throughout the day we need to apply the blood of Christ to our case.
The remembrance of our rottenness and corruption saves, safeguards, and protects us. To consider that we are above others because of our level of education or national heritage really damages us. We must always realize and be reminded that we are corrupt people, that our body of flesh is full of lusts, that our soul is saturated with the evil one, making our self the embodiment of Satan (Matt. 16:23), and that our spirit is deadened. Although our spirit has certainly been regenerated (John 3:6), it is still under a deadening condition today. Second Corinthians 7:1 says that we must cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and of spirit. This defilement of our spirit is the deadening of our spirit. The reason that our spirit is often empty, dry, low, and contaminated is that it is not so living. Because our spirit is deadened, it is easy for us to lose our temper or to criticize others, but it is difficult to praise the Lord. At morning watch our spirit may become very living, but at other times during the day our spirit is not so living. So it is easy for it to be contaminated. A lifeless, wooden pole can easily become dirty or contaminated, but not a living tree.
When we remember that we are persons whose bodies are full of lust, whose souls have become one with Satan, and whose spirits are deadened, we will have no confidence or trust in ourselves. Paul was such a person. According to Philippians 3:3, Paul boasted in Christ Jesus and had no confidence in the flesh. He had no confidence in himself, so he did not trust in himself. This kind of experience brought Paul to trust in the Lord Himself. We need to experience the same thing. We must realize that there is no one for us to trust in but Christ. Our trust must altogether be in Him, and without Him we are just pitiful people. We should not say that we are anything; it is better for us to say that we are nothing. We are pitiful people who need the Lord.
In order to know the experience and growth in life, we do need to know a number of different teachings throughout the Bible. Yet in addition to these things, we also need to know two very crucial things. First, we need to know that the Lord Jesus has made Himself one with us (1 Cor. 6:17). As a result, we should no longer live a life by ourselves; we must live a life with Him. Second, we must know that our entire being — spirit, soul, and body — has been corrupted. Therefore, we should have no trust or confidence in ourselves. With these two realizations we may pray, “Lord, I have no trust or confidence in myself. My trust is altogether in You. Without You I am just a pitiful person. Without You or apart from You, I can do nothing. But in You, the One who empowers me, I am able to do all things.” This is the Christian life.
Before the Lord’s crucifixion Peter was very confident in himself that he would not deny the Lord (Matt. 26:33-35). So the Lord in His sovereignty arranged the environment for Peter to deny Him three times, even in front of the Lord’s face (Luke 22:55-61). Through those kinds of experiences, Peter was subdued. According to John 21, after the Lord’s resurrection He met Peter at a place where he and the other disciples were backsliding (v. 1). As they were fishing, the Lord appeared on the seashore. When they saw the Lord, they realized that they were naked (v. 7). This is very meaningful. The Lord met Peter in a backslidden condition when he had no covering.
When they arrived on the seashore and while they ate breakfast, Peter was very subdued and was probably not very comfortable. He may have felt very ashamed because of his recent failures: he had denied the Lord; he had not remained in Jerusalem, the place where the Lord had charged him to stay (Luke 24:49); and he had taken the lead to backslide, going back to Galilee to pick up his old job of fishing (John 21:3). Peter might have been excited to see the Lord inwardly, but due to his failures he may not have had the faith to express his feeling outwardly.
After breakfast the Lord asked Peter a question: “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” Peter responded to the Lord by saying, “Yes, Lord, You know that I love You” (v. 15). Peter’s response indicates a great deal. He did not just say, “Yes, Lord, I love You,” nor did he say, “No, Lord, I’m sorry. I’d like to love You, but I cannot love You.” Peter’s answer to the Lord’s question reveals that he was really subdued. He had lost all confidence in himself. Peter’s confidence had been transferred from himself to the Lord. Because he no longer had any confidence in himself, he wanted to know what the Lord would say. Peter may have remembered both his own confident declaration that he would never deny the Lord and the Lord’s word that he would deny Him three times. Through this failure Peter realized that only what the Lord said really counted. So when the Lord questioned Peter, Peter turned the question back to the Lord to see what He would say. By this little word, you can see that Peter, having no confidence in himself, was subdued and broken. This is the Christian life, a life that is subdued and broken.
As trainees, you may have become disappointed or discouraged by your experience of exposure in this training. Because of this you may consider to withdraw from the training to go back to the church that supported you. Your going back in this way may make you even more miserable. Because you do not know yourself, you may think that you need to do something. Actually, you do not need to do anything. You simply need to tell the Lord, “Lord, here I am. I am pitiful. I have no confidence in myself. My confidence and trust is just in You. Without You or apart from You, I am just a pitiful person.” To come to this realization is really positive.
Your attitude in visiting your supporting church, parents, and relatives is very important. If you go back with an attitude and realization that you are nothing and that your confidence is really in the Lord, this would be wonderful. Such a testimony would nourish everyone who listens to you. But if you go back testifying how marvelous the training was, everyone who hears your testimony may be killed. If your experience with the Lord in the training was proper, you were being exposed every day. Everything in the training only served to expose you. Such experiences are very profitable, because it indicates that you are beginning to really know yourself. Although you have learned and been equipped with a great deal in this training, this learning may be considered as only some “gold” to adorn you outwardly. To give people the impression that you are now gilded with gold would not be so fitting. The best impression to give others is that you are a broken and subdued person with no apparent gold. If your supporting church would receive such an impression from you, this would be very profitable.
