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Scripture Reading: Matt. 16:21-26
Our disposition is what we are by birth, our natural makeup. In our experience our disposition is found in the “I,” the old man, the self, and the soul-life. Although there are no verses in the New Testament that clearly define the disposition, its significance is implied in certain portions of the Word. Galatians 2:20 says, “I am crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me.” In this verse the disposition is implied by the old “I,” which has been crucified with Christ. In Matthew 16:21-26 and Luke 9:22-25 the disposition is implied by the self (Matt. 16:24; Luke 9:23, 25) and the soul-life (Matt. 16:25-26; Luke 9:24). In Matthew 16:22 Peter rebuked the Lord Jesus according to his disposition. Peter’s disposition was mainly expressed in his quickness and in his taking the lead to express himself. Peter, as the spokesman of the twelve disciples, took the lead to express himself on many occasions. None of the other disciples exceeded Peter in this matter. We each have our own disposition. According to our disposition, we also may be quick to express ourselves as Peter did. On the other hand, according to our disposition, we may be persons who rarely say something to express ourselves.
Our disposition is the most difficult part of our being to deal with, and often there is a particular part of our disposition that is the hardest to deal with. It seems that a mountain can be moved more easily than certain parts of our disposition. Our disposition is a part of our self. As Christians, we have to live Christ by rejecting our self. We must learn to act against our disposition.
According to my observation over many years, the real enemy of our growth in the divine life is our disposition. Our disposition is also the factor that spoils our usefulness in the hand of the Lord. Shortly after I was saved, I received the vision of the Lord’s recovery through the writings of Brother Nee, and I left the denomination with which I was meeting. In 1932 the Lord raised up a church in my locality, and in 1934 I began to work with Brother Nee. Since that time, as one caring for the church and the work, I have had contact with many people and have come to know them. I have learned that many saints eventually stopped growing in the divine life and could make no further progress. For the first few years of their Christian life they grew in the divine life very quickly. Eventually, however, their growth stopped due to a particular, peculiar aspect of their disposition. They had given up the world and had sacrificed many things for the Lord. They also listened to the messages and loved them. However, a particular, peculiar aspect remained in their being. That part of their makeup became a stronghold that held them back from making progress in the growth in life. There is little possibility for such saints to progress. Some saints have not grown in life for fifty years.
I have also seen some very promising saints who loved the Lord, sacrificed for Him in many ways, received a high education, and had much experience in sufferings and in the human life. As a rule, such ones are very useful to the Lord. However, because of a particular, peculiar aspect of their makeup, their usefulness was annulled. They did not insist on holding on to this aspect of their being; it simply remained in them and spoiled and stopped their usefulness.
Our particular traits can be compared to the grain in a piece of wood. A carpenter prefers to use wood that has an even grain. If the carpenter finds a piece of wood with an irregular grain, he will not use it. A piece of wood may be of good quality, but if it has a knot or burl, it cannot be sawed easily; it is not useful. The Christians who do not have any peculiarity, any peculiar traits, are the ones who grow the most and the fastest. Likewise, the brothers and sisters who are the most useful are the ones who do not have any peculiar traits. In the service the ones who are the most useful are the ones who always reject and deny what they are.
I have been observing the situation in the church for many years. When I was with Brother Nee, I saw a number of cases of rebellion, and in Taiwan and the United States I have seen several such cases. If we would diagnose these cases of rebellion, we could see that the source of the rebellion was the disposition of the persons involved. With almost no exceptions the cause of each person’s involvement in rebellion was their peculiar traits. On the one hand, many of the dear saints who have been involved in a rebellion were very useful. On the other hand, there was a “burl” within them, causing something negative to grow and accumulate. The “burl” eventually annulled their usefulness and led to rebellion. Many other dear saints, however, have not rebelled, but they were more useful in former years than they are today. They have remained in the church, but their usefulness has been annulled by their disposition. In the Christian life and in the work, disposition is a great negative factor.
If we look back at our life, we can realize that many of our sufferings were caused by the peculiar traits in our disposition. Because of his disposition, a student may be frustrated from studying, and his professors may not care for him personally. As a result, he will not be able to make good grades. If that person’s disposition could be changed, he would be able to make better grades. In a law court a judge may be negatively influenced by a person’s peculiar traits, causing that person not to receive a favorable judgment. Even in a family one child may suffer more than the other children because of his disposition. An employer may realize that an employee has a peculiar trait, but because the company needs him, they will keep him on. However, when the company begins to lay off its workers, he may be the first one to go. We may also suffer in our own neighborhood because of our peculiar traits. We may love people and love to help people, but because of our peculiar traits, none of our neighbors may care for us.
The negative factor in our marriage life and family life is our disposition. Seemingly, the problems between parents and children are due to certain mistakes. However, mistakes are easy to deal with. Mistakes are like dust on a desktop that can be wiped away. The real cause of the problems between parents and children are the peculiar traits in their makeup. If either the parents’ or the children’s disposition would change, there would not be such problems. However, even the parents are not able to change themselves. Eventually, the problems accumulate. Year after year there is an accumulation of problems. This accumulation may be compared to the cause of earthquakes. An earthquake is caused by the gradual accumulation of pressure underneath the earth which finally breaks forth. Even though the parents and children love each other and live for each other for many years, the accumulation eventually may lead to a big problem.
Our peculiar traits also cause us to suffer in our marriage life. A husband and a wife may love each other, but after being married for several months, the wife may discover a “burl” in her husband. The real problem between husbands and wives is the particular and peculiar part of their makeup, their disposition. This is the factor that can make the husband and wife unhappy. A pleasant husband and a pleasant wife are those who have no peculiar traits. A wife’s beauty does not make her pleasant for long. A brother may be charmed by a sister’s beauty while they are dating and on their wedding day, but after they live together for a short time, he may realize that he married a beautiful sister who is very hard to deal with. From that time on, the peculiar traits will cause trouble between them. The husband and wife may love and appreciate each other, but the accumulation of problems produced by their peculiar traits may eventually lead to divorce. In the church life the accumulation of problems over many years may lead to rebellion.
In the four Gospels Peter’s most difficult dealing before the Lord was related to his disposition. Even by the time of Galatians 2:11-21, Peter’s disposition had not yet been thoroughly dealt with. Something troubling still remained within him. According to the record of the whole New Testament, however, Peter eventually broke through. In Galatians 2 Paul rebuked Peter to his face because Peter still lived in his disposition to some degree, but in 2 Peter 3:15-16 Peter highly commended Paul. If Peter had been still living in his disposition, he would not have made such a strong commendation of the one who rebuked him. Rebuking offends people, but Peter was not offended. This may indicate that the “burl,” the troublemaking factor, had been removed from him.
By man’s hand there is no way to remove the factor of the disposition, but in the Lord’s hand there is a way. In Matthew 19:25 the disciples asked the Lord, “Who then can be saved?” The Lord replied, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (v. 26). This word must have been fulfilled in Peter. In 2 Peter 1:5-11 Peter wrote concerning the development of what the Lord has given us by the growth in life unto the rich entrance into the eternal kingdom. Peter was able to write such a word because he had learned the spiritual lessons. The Lord broke through in him. It is impossible for us to break through the problem of our disposition, but it is possible for the Lord to do it.
In the first few years of our spiritual life, we may have grown quickly. However, our growth may have slowed down or even come to a standstill because of our disposition. We should be warned concerning our disposition. We must learn to take care of the “burl” in our makeup, our disposition. If we deal with the “burl,” we will grow quickly and have a free way in our spiritual life without any hindrances to our growth in life. We will also become more useful to the Lord.
Question: Why does our disposition not frustrate our growth in life at the beginning of our spiritual life?
Answer: At the beginning of our spiritual life, our disposition was buried by our worldliness, weaknesses, and sins. We grew quickly by dealing with the world, our weak points, and our sins. After we dealt with these superficial, negative things, we reached a deeper problem. The deeper problem was what we are. In our being there was a “burl.” Our free way was cut off. We could not go on and became blocked in our spiritual life. Our disposition has become our problem. It hinders us from growing in life and from being used by the Lord, and it has made trouble for us, causing us to suffer.
