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Matthew 16:21-25 says, “From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes and be killed and on the third day be raised. And Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, God be merciful to You, Lord! This shall by no means happen to You! But He turned and said to Peter, Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me, for you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men. Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it; but whoever loses his soul-life for My sake shall find it.”
As followers of the Lord, it is often difficult for us to have the experience of the cross because in our natural being we may have never realized how much the cross must work in us. We know that the ultimate result of the cross is to terminate us completely. Hence, from beginning to end, the work of the cross in a person who pursues and follows the Lord completely terminates his being and all that is of himself, step by step. This teaching is easy to understand but not that easy to experience.
In our natural being we cannot avoid the concept of right and wrong. We tend to think that if we do something right, we are pleasing God, and if we do something good, we are in His shining. We seldom realize that what God pays attention to is beyond goodness and beyond right and wrong. What God pays attention to is whether we do things out of Christ or out of ourselves. According to our concept, God rejects what is wrong and accepts what is right. In God’s view, however, only that which is of Christ is acceptable; whatever is of ourselves, whether good or bad, is utterly rejected by God. God’s view is different from man’s view. God does not take right and wrong or good and evil as the criterion; He takes Christ as the criterion. Whatever is not of Christ, whether good or bad, is not acceptable to God. Only that which is lived out in Christ and by Christ can be accepted by God. In short, what God wants in us is not what we live out but what Christ lives out through us.
However, there is a big problem. Since man is a living being, having his own preference, thinking, emotion, will, and choice, how can he not live out himself? How can he cease all his activities and let Christ live out through him? This is truly a difficult matter. Not only is it difficult to stop ourselves in big matters, it is even more difficult to stop ourselves in small matters. For example, if we are really enjoying ourselves in a conversation with someone, it is not easy for us to stop ourselves. Even if we stop talking outwardly, we may still murmur within. It is difficult for us to simply listen while others are telling us something. This shows us that when a person is active, it is not easy for him to stop his activity.
In the service of the church today we often do things out of ourselves. Apparently, the things we do are good, right, and profitable, but actually they are done out of ourselves. We may even know that we do them out of ourselves, yet it is still difficult for us to stop. To a certain extent we all have experienced this. Consider reading the Bible as an example. Sometimes while we are enjoying reading the Word, we may get an inward feeling that we should spend a little time to pray for the church. According to spiritual principles, once we have such a feeling, we should immediately stop reading and pray instead. However, usually we are not willing to stop. This again shows us that it is not easy for us to stop our activity.
It is the same with the matter of fellowship. Sometimes we may fellowship with someone to a point where we are full of joy and want to continue talking with him, but we have a feeling within us that we should go visit a saint who is sick or has a problem. It is one thing to have the willingness to fellowship with others, but it is another thing to have the feeling to go and visit the saints. However, because we are too willing to fellowship, we are unable to stop, and because we are enjoying the fellowship, we would not visit the saints.
Do not think that it is easy for us to be obedient. This is not so. To obey the teachings of the Bible is seemingly an easy task, but to obey the One within us is not so easy. A person can be zealous according to the Bible by himself, but he absolutely cannot obey the Lord by himself. What the Lord wants is not that we would love others after reading about it in the Bible. Rather, what the Lord wants is to live out His love and to love others through us.
Perhaps we have had an experience similar to the following. After reading from the Bible about loving others, it so happens that someone we like is right beside us, so we begin to display our love for that one. Apparently, we really love him, and many people may even publicize the fact that we love others. However, this love is one hundred percent out of ourselves. When it is we who love others, the Holy Spirit will give us a feeling that this love is out of our natural man and is actually ourselves. Just as our hatred is the expression of ourselves, so our love is also the expression of ourselves.
Whether I am wearing a Western suit or a Chinese long gown, I am still myself. Even if I put on the best garment in the whole world, I am still myself and have not changed a bit. In the same way, I may wear a “garment” of love or a “garment” of hatred. Although outwardly there is a difference, I am still the same. I am the one who hates, and I am also the one who loves — I am the one doing both.
The experience of the cross is not merely a suffering but a termination. Whether we love or hate people, we need to be terminated. Unless we are put to an end, Christ will not be able to come out of us; He will have no way out of us. If we love others by ourselves, people will be able to touch our love and ourselves, but they will not be able to touch Christ. This is because the cross has not worked in us. In other words, the cross has not yet put an end to our love; the cross has not yet put us to death.
The Lord Jesus said that if anyone wants to follow Him, he must take up his cross (Matt. 16:24). Prior to this word the Lord mentioned that man must deny himself. We need to see that the cross is an adversary of the self and that what the cross deals with is the self. The Lord spoke such a word with a certain background. That day the Lord had solemnly spoken to the disciples that He would go to Jerusalem to suffer death. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “God be merciful to You, Lord! This shall by no means happen to You!” But the Lord turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me, for you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men” (vv. 21-23). What Peter expressed was not hatred but sympathy, love, and concern. Yet this love was of the self, and Satan is hidden in the self. May God open our eyes one day to show us that Satan is hidden in and mingled with our self. Not only is our hatred Satan, but even our love for others has Satan hidden in it.
Sadly, hardly anyone today knows this. Even Peter did not realize this. Do you think he hated the Lord or loved the Lord? Of course, he loved the Lord. No one would ever say that Peter hated the Lord, yet the Lord called him “Satan.” Many times our thoughts of loving the Lord, of doing good, and of pleasing God all come out of Satan. Why is this? As the Lord said, “You are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men.” Whenever we are in ourselves, setting our mind on the things of men, we are Satan.
If someone were to tell us that we were full of Satan, we surely would be upset. However, this is a portrait of man, not a statement to be used for scolding people. If we really knew our self, we would see that what is in you and me, the descendants of Adam, is Satan. The bad element is Satan, and the good element also is Satan. In the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, there is good as well as evil. Everything that comes out of us is unclean because it has been mingled with Satan.
The Lord Jesus said, “If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me” (v. 24). If a person is willing to give up himself and deny himself, Satan will have no ground in him. Satan is mingled with man’s intention, but the cross, which is on God’s side, does away with man. Everything that is of man comes out of Satan. If we hate God by our self, we definitely cannot please God. However, even if we love God by our self, we still cannot please God because Satan is in our self. Hence, in a way God does not pay attention to what is being expressed. Rather, God pays attention to whose expression it is — Christ’s or ours. If it is ours, then we need not only repentance but also the cross. The cross requires those of us who follow the Lord to forsake ourself and deny ourself. If we want to follow Christ, we need to deny ourself, take up the cross, and follow Him.
The Lord first bore the cross and then was crucified, but with us, we first are crucified, and then we bear the cross. On the day the Lord Jesus was crucified, we were crucified with Him. Hence, on our side, we first are crucified, and then we bear the cross. What does it mean to bear the cross? Many people think that to bear the cross is to suffer. For instance, there may be a wife who is always suffering hardship because her husband has a peculiar disposition. Someone may advise her, saying, “This is the cross that God has given you. You just have to bear it.” This shows that many people have the concept that there is more than one cross. Your husband is a cross, your wife is a cross, your boss is a cross, your employee is a cross, your children are a cross, and your daughter-in-law is a cross. It seems that there are numerous crosses for us to bear. Actually, this understanding is wrong.
There is only one cross, the cross which Christ bore to Golgotha and on which He was crucified. Not only was He crucified there but so were you and I. This is an objective and accomplished fact. However, one day God may open our eyes to see the fact that not only Christ was on the cross, but all of us who have believed in Him were also on the cross. We have already been crucified with Christ. From that day on, we will be those who bear the cross subjectively.
What does it mean to bear the cross? To bear the cross means to see that we are finished and ended. As soon as we begin to love someone, the cross will operate in us to kill our love. Can a crucified person still love others by himself? Can someone who is on the cross still be active? Can someone who is on the cross still do something? It is impossible. If we know the cross and bear the cross, we will immediately see that the cross has already terminated us.
We all know that when we light a kerosene lamp, at the beginning it does not smoke, but later, after we twist the wick and raise it, the smoke comes out. Our loving others by ourselves is like lighting a kerosene lamp. When we first love someone, there is no “smoke,” but after loving him more, the “smoke” comes out. This is our flesh. Today we may approve of this one and appreciate him, but tomorrow we may disapprove of him and belittle him. Therefore, when someone praises us, we should not be too excited, because later he may be the one who attacks us the most.
If a person has not been dealt with, he may do good things now, but that does not necessarily mean that he will not do bad things later. A person cannot be pure unless he has been dealt with. For this reason God has a strict requirement on us. He requires us to be delivered not only from evil and from good, but He also requires us to be delivered from our self. Hence, we must have the experience of the cross; we must pass through the cross.
The genuine experience of a Christian is the experience of the cross. Only those who have passed through the cross will be able to stand the tests, the blows, and the various trials and afflictions. Regrettably, many Christians have been saved for years but still do not have the experience of the cross. It seems that their experiences of their prayers being answered, their preaching of the gospel being effective, and their having fellowship with the saints are all spiritual experiences. But strictly speaking, whoever has not passed through the cross has not had any spiritual experiences. Only those who have passed through the cross have had spiritual experiences. Our being, our self, must first be broken and terminated by the cross. Then Christ can gain some ground in us and come out through us, and His life can also be constituted into us.
Christ is the life, and the cross is the way. Without the cross we cannot have the experience of Christ’s life. Some saints fervently love the Lord, but eventually they fall, become weak, and even get into trouble. Why? It is because they have never passed through the cross. Someone may be stumbled and may stop coming to the meetings because he was told by an usher to sit in the front row. Another one who was zealous in preaching the gospel may suddenly stop preaching because others looked at him with cold eyes. What kind of experience is this? This shows us that these people have not been dealt with by the cross. If a person has been dealt with by the cross, he will not have these negative feelings. The fact that we can sense whether people welcome us or not proves that the cross has never done the breaking work in us. Only those who have passed through the cross can endure hardship and are real spiritual men.
How can we experience the cross? A person’s spiritual experience begins with loving the Lord. This love has to be single and pure. Many Christians’ love for the Lord is not that pure. Perhaps someone will ask, “Do you mean that I have a hidden motive in loving the Lord?” This is not what I mean. However, many Christians’ love for the Lord is mixed with their own preference; thus, their love is not pure. Our love for the Lord should be pure. We should not desire anything besides Him, not even something for our spiritual enjoyment. We should desire only the Lord Himself. Our heart has to be ready to say, “O Lord, I want whatever is Your will, and I reject whatever is not Your will.” If we simply love the Lord, we will have the light to see that all that comes out of ourself has already been put on the cross. Thus, we will reject everything that is of us. Once we have this light, we will be able to sense in our daily living that which is from ourself. Once we have such a feeling, we must take up our cross and obey this feeling. If we ignore and disobey this feeling, this means we have come down from the cross. At that moment we are separated from the cross.
If we love the Lord, He will show us the cross and enable us to receive and bear the cross. In this way the cross will be able to work in us and do a killing work day by day. When we are about to do something by ourself, the cross will do a killing work in us. When we are about to love someone by ourself, the cross will do a killing work in us. When we are about to read the Bible by ourself, the cross will do a killing work in us. And when we are about to visit people by ourself, the cross will do a killing work in us. Because we love the Lord, once we have the sense of the cross, we will obey it. Because we love the Lord, we will receive and take up the cross and reject everything that is of ourself. This is the spiritual experience.
However, there is hardly anyone who always chooses the cross, who never rejects the cross, and who always acknowledges the cross. Hence, God raises up many things in our environment to show us whether we are those who always choose the cross. Many times God prepares a wife or a husband for us in order to test us and to see if we will choose the cross. The purpose of the outward striking and the inward breaking is to find out if we will choose the cross. It is in this kind of circumstance that many lovers and seekers of the Lord encounter difficulty. If we love the Lord and are willing to take the cross, the Lord will use the outward environment to see if we will truly take up the cross. Sometimes, because of our reluctance in taking the cross, God will use the environment to smite us and break us.
If inwardly we are willing to always bear the cross, we will save ourselves from many outward troubles. Often a person may seem to love the Lord, pursue the Lord, and be zealous for Him, but inwardly he has never seriously chosen the cross or taken up the cross. So God must use many kinds of environments to deal with him and cause him to suffer the breaking. All these outward blows, breakings, and trials are due to his unwillingness to choose and take up the cross.
If we know the cross, we will welcome humiliation more than glory, difficulty more than ease, and adversity more than prosperity. If we know the cross, we will say that we only deserve to stay on the cross, be ended by the cross, and be terminated by the cross. This is our glory. This glory is not something out of ourselves; it is Christ.
Only those who have passed through the cross are single and pure. Those who have never passed through the cross can never be pure before God. If we have never passed through the cross, even our humility will have the mixture of the self. Hence, many times a Christian may seem to be holy outwardly, but inwardly he is filthy. When he says, “Thank you,” the self is there, and when he shows his humility toward others, the self is in it. If we have the light of the cross, we will see that we are just filthiness. Unless the cross has removed our self, we are still unclean. The work of the cross in us is to take away our naturalness and our uncleanness.
If the Lord is merciful and gracious to us, many of our problems will be eliminated, and much of the friction will disappear. The church should be one, but without the breaking and dealing of the self through the cross, it is difficult to have this oneness. Only those who have passed through the cross know what genuine oneness is.
