Date: Morning, July 2, 1948 Place: Kuling
Brother James Yen: If a man is depressed, discouraged, and bound, is it because his outward man is not broken? How should such a person break through his condition?
Watchman Nee: Two things can happen when a man is depressed in his spirit. First, when a man acts according to his outer man, he does not need to exercise his spirit. As such, this will not be a time when he feels any depression in his spirit. He may feel a sense of depression in his spirit only when he comes to the meeting, prays, or reads the Bible. This is because there is a demand for being spiritual in doing such things. The underlying reason many people are depressed and bound in the meetings is that they are confronted with spiritual demands. If there is no spiritual demand, there will not be any spiritual pressure. For example, if we physically jog up Kuling Mountain, we will not feel any spiritual pressure, because there is no spiritual demand. This does not mean that the meetings or prayers or reading the Scriptures make a person oppressed in his spirit. The person must be oppressed and bound in his spirit beforehand. When a spiritual demand comes, this oppression is accentuated, and the person becomes conscious of his spiritual depression. If a man is spiritually depressed, it shows that there is something fundamentally wrong with his spirit. When a man is walking or going about his secular business, he does not have any spiritual need and he does not feel any spiritual pressure. He experiences spiritual pressure only when he is faced with spiritual demands. This is what happens in the majority of cases.
Second, in a few cases there are exceptional reasons for spiritual oppression. Sometimes when most of the people are spiritually depressed in a meeting, the remaining ones can be affected by such depression. A few members may become spiritually oppressed because of a satanic attack or other supernatural frustrations. Their spiritual depression in the meeting can affect others. When a meeting is faced with this oppression, one individual is not enough to bring about a breakthrough; there is the need for concerted opposition. If one member in the meeting suffers the assault of oppressive forces within, those who are sensitive will sense death spreading in the environment.
With the first condition, there is the need of some fundamental dealings. If a man is under oppression for too long, he will treat this as a normal experience, and he will not know what liberty in the spirit means. With the second kind of pressure, the remedy is to exercise the spirit to throw off this oppression. Sometimes it takes three or five persons to break through in prayer. Those who are sensitive in their spirit can react to this opposition in two ways. They can recoil in their spirit, or they can push away this oppression with their spirit.
Brother Su: What does it mean to be enlightened?
Watchman Nee: Ephesians 5 is the only place in the Bible that defines light. According to that chapter, light is "everything that makes manifest" (v. 13). The word revelation in Greek is apokalupsis. Apo is to open, and kalupsis is a veil. Therefore, revelation simply means the removal of a veil. Light is related to revelation. To be enlightened means to receive a revelation. Once light comes, revelation comes. Revelation is determined by the amount of light received. God's revelation is what we receive through His light; it is the effect of this light in us. When light comes from God and reaches us, we have revelation. The end result of light is revelation.
Light of life is one of many kinds of light from God. It emanates from the Lord's life within us. When sin is present in the church, there is no speaking, no prophets, and no light. When the Lord shows us the light, however, we will have sight and revelation. Without revelation, we will not see anything. When God gathers His people together and speaks to them, this speaking constitutes light. When we see the light, we must fall down. It does not matter how we fall. We do not have to be that clear; there is no need to know whether we are falling forward, backward, to the left, or to the right. The sunlight finds us; we do not search for it with our lamp. Once a man sees light, he will have revelation, and that is all that counts. He will only need to praise; he will not need to plead for light. It is God's responsibility to give us the light. When we have a word from the Lord, we have light, and when light comes, we see, and that is all that counts. When we do not have light, we need light, and when light comes, we only need to open our eyes wide. Once we see the light, we just need to thank and praise Him; there is no further need to search for light.
As soon as light comes, revelation follows. Many times we suffer much because we try to search for the light. If a man does not fall before God in the face of light, but instead looks for more light, he will lose what little light he has. If a man does not obey the light that he has received from God, but insists on asking for more, he will lose the light he has received. Enlightening is God's concern, while revelation is the enlightenment we receive in our inner being.
Once light comes, it kills. Light is the greatest destroying factor. Once light comes, we fall and wilt; there is nothing we can hide under the light. Many harmful organisms in this world are killed by light. Under the light of the sun, everything is manifest. Confusion comes when we try to look for sunlight with a lamp. We have to set our eyes on the greater things, not be confined by the dimmer lights.
God's light is found in the Holy of Holies. Today the Holy of Holies is the church. Personal pursuits can easily lead to darkness. A man cannot get any light from analysis or mere supplication. He cannot find God through introspection. God's light is found only in the Holy of Holies. All is well when the church has prophets and divine speaking. When these things are present in the church, everyone will receive light from the church. It is disastrous when the church does not have any speaking. When a church has the divine speaking, it has light. We like to see men being exposed, being brought to light, and receiving revelation once they step into the church. Light comes from the ministry of the word, and the ministry of the word functions within the church. Light is found in the church, not in individuals. We have to receive light from God's word before we can serve others with this light.
Brother Chow: What is required in the ministry?
Watchman Nee: Our job is not just to be preachers, but to be apprentices. We must learn the lessons ourselves before we can lead others to the same way. Perhaps our capacity should be eighty pounds of weight, yet we can only carry one or two ounces. We have to receive much from the Lord before we can be constituted with the ministry. Unless we meet this demand what can we give to the Lord or to others? Peter said that we should not think that the fiery ordeal among us, coming to us for a trial, is anything strange (1 Pet. 4:12). We should not be surprised by any experience we encounter. The more trouble we encounter, the more we are equipped to serve. The more experience we have, the more we can meet the need. The trials that we suffer equip us for the ministry. We have to allow many troubles to come to us. We should refuse to pass on any message that is merely doctrine. We must speak what we have experienced. If a man rejects all the little dealings that come his way, he is disqualified from serving the Lord. We must learn the lessons ourselves before we can teach others. We must learn before we can give, before we can lead. A disciple means an apprentice. Christ's salvation is not a philosophy, doctrine, teaching, or ideal. What we speak must be what we have learned. Many people may think that this is too difficult. It is not too late for us to change our profession, but if we want to take this way, we have to learn the lessons. It is not enough to pick up doctrines, teachings, and dogmas. Doctrines are useless. We must go through many experiences ourselves. We can only be useful after we have been thoroughly dealt with by the Lord.
What then is required of the ministry? It requires that we learn and experience. The amount of ministry depends on the amount of experience we have. The standard of ministry is determined by the standard of our experience. This is the reason we have to be "violent"; we have to be willing to take the dealings, and we have to endeavor to pursue. If a man is entangled by small things, he will become useless. Therefore, we should never be mindful of small gains and losses. We have to develop a greater capacity, a greater view. The Lord has to deal with us in a thorough way before we can arrive at a rich ministry. We should not settle for a poor ministry; we should strive for a great ministry, a rich ministry.
