Date:August 16, 1948
I was saved in 1925 at the Bible school established by Sister Dora Yu in Jiang-Wan, Shanghai. My mother and husband passed away, and I lost all interest in the world. Two years later I returned to Canton and began meeting at a sister's house. Once I met Brother Nee's mother, who told me the truth concerning the church. I began to have a desire to serve the Lord full-time. After World War II, I returned to my hometown. It had third-and-fourth-generation, nominal Christians there who did not know any truth. After I explained the truth to them, they were saved in a clear way. Later we began to meet and break bread in my home. What I have heard this time on the mountain has caused me to condemn myself. All of my prayers are prayers of confession. Without the Lord's blood, I cannot lift up my head. I thought that I was poor. Now I realize that I am poorer than I realized.
There are two aspects to Christianity. One is supernatural, and the other is spiritual. One is God's power manifested in the environment, and the other is God's power manifested in the heart. One is outward work, and the other is inward crafting. One is God answering our prayers, and the other is God molding our inward being. One is outward, and the other is inward. These two aspects result in two different kinds of Christians. Among God's children some pay attention to prayer, work, and supernatural things. Their eyes are on God's arranging hand in the environment. These ones know grace in an outward way. Others pay attention to inward dealings, inward teachings, inward light, the inward experience of God's hand, and the inward spiritual way. We wish our sister would realize that according to the revelation of the New Testament God wants to establish us in the inward spiritual way. Every outward thing that God has done is for the purpose of building up the inward things. Outward answers to prayer, outward arrangements, outward deliverances, and outward care are all for the purpose of edifying the inward being. It is good that you can come to the mountain and listen to all the testimonies and things concerning the Lord. God's children, however, face a greater danger than backsliding — caring only for the outward concerns and blessings while missing the inward fruit. If a man receives many answers to prayer and deliverance in the midst of his warfare, we can say that God has shown mercy to him. However, if a man only sees the outward care yet misses God inwardly, he is in a dreadful state. Once God's children are stuck with only outward blessings, they have fallen to the standard of the Jews.
The Christian blessings in the New Testament are spiritual, inward, and intrinsic. The blessings spoken of in Ephesians 1 are all spiritual. The New Testament Christians receive inward blessings, not outward ones. In Leviticus 26 God promised the Israelites that they could be spared from many sicknesses. Today there are many who have received the blessing of health. There are also many who have become sick and yet have received inward spiritual blessings. In Christ we have inward blessings as well as outward blessings. If a person only has outward blessings, he is standing on Jewish ground. We do not want any outward blessing to frustrate our inward progress. God pays attention today to spiritual blessings. Whether we receive blessing or chastisement, we have to understand God's way with us today. When we understand it, we will be enlightened within, and this will be genuine Christian salvation. God wants to turn us daily from outward blessings to inward blessings. Whether our outward circumstances are smooth or rough, everything should turn around eventually and become our inward blessing, including what apparently seems to be God's rejection. If we take this way, we will be full of light.
Paul prayed for the removal of his outward thorn; this was a prayer for outward blessing. The Lord did not answer this prayer. Instead He said, "My grace is sufficient for you." When Paul heard this word, he rejected the outward blessing for the inward blessing. God allowed the thorn to remain in order that Paul would know what weakness meant, what sufficient grace meant, and what the Lord's power being perfected through man's weaknesses meant. The outward thorn brought him spiritual profit. We must learn to take the inward way. Do not be distracted to take the outward way. The Lord is always taking us by the hand to go the inward way. We have to be clear about this way. We have to know what genuine Christian salvation is. We have to learn to accept the inward blessings. Sometimes the Lord perfects us through answering our prayers, but sometimes He perfects us through not answering our prayers. We do not have to pay too much attention to whether or not the Lord has answered our prayer. We only have to see whether or not we have received any spiritual blessing. There is no doubt that we have to know the Lord through the outward things, but we must see Him through the inward things as well. If we do this, our way will not only be straight, but we will be able to be a guide to others.
